Second time writing this, first time I crashred my browser... apoligizing now for spelling errors, my eyesight has been messed p the last two days, hoping it will fix its self like last time this happened.
Anyways, yesterday was interesting, besides being a bit out of it from lack of sleep... The legallization of gay marriage caught me off guard, hhavent been paying attention to the news I guess. It did leave me a bit conflicted since I have come to accept myself as gay, so obviously I am all for being avle to marry who I am attracted to, but also I hope religion isn't targetted too much over this.
The way I see these last few years for me now, is that in 2013, I started feeling an attraction toward men, but the discussion my youth group had about it scared me, so I decided to hide those feelings... Then changed to trying to justify them by taking my already effeminate self, and saying I must be transgender. Which I now admit was a horrible idea.
But thankfully to yesterdaym I have, for the first time, eard my parents more honest opinions on gay people. Which is actually very positive and understanding, they are both okay with gay marriage as long as people don't use it as a way to persecute Christians. But overall they are okay with it, and even left my cousin a positive message about it.
Now for how accepting myself is already effecting me, I am very much looking forward to finally coming out of my shell a bit more and moving on with my life. For coming out of my shell, that means finally socializing more, and dressing the way I want to. For actually coming out to my parents, I would prefer to wait a few weeks for the drama around yesterday to pass.
I am still a bit afraid of my broter, his friends, and 3 of my cousins whom I have picked up on being anti-LGBT.. But overall I find people are slowly becoming a bit more... okay... with everything. For my brother, have opted to not telll him there is a "lesbian" moment in the game I got him into.
Though, quckly about religion, I myself have decided for now to avoid it, just since I find there is a lot I don't agree with, and I would prefer to avoid the drama I predict coming soon.
Now to go email a friend to let her know I am still alive.. and not so down aabout life anymore.
