Gay or transgender?

[Mariah]

We only say we think because we can't tell you that. It has to come from you and not us. It's highly likely that you are trans because you wouldn't be questioning your birth gender if you weren't. Hugs
Mariah

[Dena]

Transsexualism is a strange medical condition where the patient tell the doctor what is wrong. Everything else the doctor tell the patient what is wrong. Just consider how many of the people in your school would be looking for a website like Susan's place. I would guess that you are the only one. People only look for this web site if they know something is wrong and they want to learn more. When I say I think that means I am about 99% sure.

[bchigdon10]

I have always questioned my gender.
Hugs from Beverley

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I437Z using Tapatalk

[BBGurl24]

Okay so trying something again I'm trying to completely suppress it because someone online said I was never trend to begin with but lemme just say it's hard it takes constant control or the thoughts of being female slowly creep back into my mind advice please

[Dena]

You never will be able to suppress it. I went from age 13 when I first understood I was a transexual until about age 27 when I found a good treatment program attempting to contain those emotions. I tried everything I could think of and the desire to be a girl would come back even stronger. It was only after I started to become a woman that these emotion no longer hurt and I was happy in life. I think you will be one of those who will not be happy until you are living life as a woman.

[BBGurl24]

I've just recently begin to think what if its fading because well the feeling goes down and then comes back strongly when triggered.

[Dena]

I had my surgery many years ago and I can work on the computer or pay bills and not think about being feminine but all it takes is one good stretch and the pleasure of being a woman comes back. The best solution for you to start therapy as soon as possible so any further changes to your body can be prevented. The younger you start this process, the better the results and the fewer years you will live with the uncomfortable feeling you have. You might be able to fight the feelings for a while but they will always be there. People on this board have fought with the feeling for 50 or 60 years and they regret the many years they would have been happy if they addressed this when they were younger. You can avoid this mistake and we are here to help you as much as we can. Please stop trying to fight the feeling and works with us.

[BBGurl24]

I'm terrified that my trans is fading the desire has kinda gone down and I'm afraid it's even gone! And I think about it less I wanna be trans so I can be a girl badly. Do cis people want to be trans

[Dena]

CIS people never question their sexual identity and they are always comfortable with who and what they are. Because you have these thoughts, because you search the web to understand more about these thoughts we know you are doing something that a CIS wouldn't do so we are pretty sure you are transgender. Now there are a few conditions were people will do something like this but most of the time we can tell when we are dealing with one of these people. You on the other hand have all the bells ringing in my head that say you are transgender and nothing else. As a transgender this feeling will never leave you but sometimes it may fade to the background for a while. The sooner you face it and get treatment the happier you will be.

[BBGurl24]

Are you sure I'm not just a cisguy that wants to be a transgirl?

[Dena]

Can I say 100% that you are not? No. What I do know is that no CIS male wants to become a woman. They are happy with what is between their legs and want to keep it. A CIS male doesn't get up in the morning wanting to be a girl. They wake up thinking how hot they are and try to figure out how they can win the heart of a girl. We are the only ones who wake up in the morning unhappy with our current gender and want to change it. As long as your post are saying what you feel inside I know you are not CIS. Much of the first 30 years of my life I felt the same thing you are feeling. That is why I know you so well. Post surgical I feel like a CIS in that I am female in both mind and body. I no longer desire to be a woman because I am a woman.

Past time for bed as it's almost midnight.

[BBGurl24]

Am I lying? I'm not sure I want to be a girl so badly that I feel the feelings.
Also if I got to choose which gender I got at birth my mind first said girl but now it's fighting and challenging that which makes me extremely depressed just let it stay female mind gosh!
I'm afraid that I'm lying now   
Please help I feel I'm getting nowhere
Btw I know I wanna be a cisgirl but now my mind is challenging that and now I'm terribly afraid that that's a lie too nothing good like being female would ever happen in my life! Guess I'm not trans 

[Dena]

I think you are a girl inside and will not be happy until the outside matches the inside. You have two options. The first is do nothing and remain the way you are feeling the way you are. The second is to do something about it. That will take getting your parents involved and getting you into therapy. Once they understand what you feel, medical treatment will be come available. It will take several years but in that time, you should be permitted to live as a girl to make sure that's the life you really want.

If you decide on the second option, we can help you tell your parents and if you parents are willing, they can join the board and we will talk with them directly. You now have a very adult decision to make. Do you have so much fear and doubt that you don't want help or are you going to be brave and deal with these problems so you will be happy in life.

I had to make this decision many years ago and I decided I wanted to be happy.

[BBGurl24]

Im a little too scared but a few things to note.
I've looked at the way girls try to stand and do the same thing i copy them.
I wear shirts but i rip the collar so they expose my right shoulder.
Im growing my hair out long even though its not soft and velvety
I don't often think about my trans but it always comes back especially when triggered

[Dena]

As humans we are all different and we each have our own view of what being feminine is. One example is I drive a Mustang and I think it's acceptable for a woman to drive a mustang. My neighbor who knows my past says I should get rid of my mustang and get a more womanly car. I tell them the car stays. If those acts make you feel more like a girl then that is you idea of what being a girl is. It isn't for me to judge what you think is feminine.

The feeling of being a man or a woman in CIS people comes and goes as well. When they are working, they are thinking about what it takes to do the job. They trigger on any number of things as well and that makes the man or woman come out in them. The difference between CIS and us is before treatment the triggering is painful because we feel something we are not. For me now the triggering is pleasant because my body matches my mind. 

[BBGurl24]

When its triggered for me its very painful it feels like a knife is pressed up against my throat its very uncomfortable like if i see a girl that i want in my life i would gladly marry her as her if you know what i mean. When its triggered it makes me feel like i want to be a girl then i get depressed and then i feel im not trans because nothing that good could ever happen to me.
Btw. trans is good because it means i don't have to be a guy anymore!

[Dena]

Now you understand you are transexual. The question is what are you going to do about it. All I can do is answer questions and educate you. Do you want to be a girl bad enough to do something about it?

[BBGurl24]

Im holding on to my transsexualism for dear life im terrified its going to go crawling away!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Dena]

There is no need to fear losing it because it will always be apart of you. The woman in me is still there after almost 50 years and I made no special effort to hang on to it. Everybody not new to this board will agree with me. I will not lie to you because I was once your age feeling the same thing you do now. I know the only way to make you happy is to stop fighting the feelings you are having and allow them to become a part of you. You may not remember it but this has always been a part of you from the day you were born and will be with you as long as you live.

[BBGurl24]

I know you say it's not going away but I feel like it's fading I think about it less and sometimes I wonder how I can be a girl like I think it's not me or it's not possible  like I'm terrified