I think my time may be drawing near

[Emjay]

I've been off work for a week on vacation,  we didn't go anywhere as we've taken this time to get our old house ready to sell and complete moving into our new one.   It has been such a great week just being away,  getting to be me all the time.  I've gone 9 days without being called "sir", which has been incredible but that will end tonight.

Tonight will be my first night back at work and my stomach has been in knots all day just thinking about putting on the guy clothes again and stepping out of the house without a scrap of makeup on (I don't wear much to begin with). 

As an added bonus I have an electrolysis appointment in the morning so I won't even be shaving today, which is just adding to this feeling. .....

I think coming out at work might seriously need to happen soon,  I hate feeling this way.   

[Yenneffer]

I know how you feel about the stomach feeling.may I ask why you go to work in guys clothes they don't suit you missy.The longer you leave it the worse it's gonna get in my experience I like jumping head first into things.i only gone full time recently on my first day I looked in the mirror and psyched myself up and walked at that door

[Emjay]

Thank you and you're right, they don't suit me at all.

I can give you a whole raft of reasons why I haven't yet but really none of them hold up very well to be completely honest.  I think the only reason that really rings true when I'm 100 percent honest with myself is fear.  Fear of losing my job, which is pretty ridiculous considering I came out to HR before accepting this job and they told me then that they would support me.  Also fear of rejection since I work in kind of a boys club environment.

It has gotten worse the longer I've let it go on though.

[Yenneffer]

By the way your super cute

[Emjay]

   Thank you!

[Valwen]

Go for it I dont look half as good as you it took me two days of being me before it became a all the time when not at work the next Friday I came out to work and the Wednesday following declared myself full time and today I started the name change process. This all started June 8th. So wow.So much so fast but it's been so good.

Long story short go for it hit life hard and fast, if you try waiting till you not afraid anymore you will just keep waiting, do it now whail the memories of how this last week have been and how much your dreading going back into the closet to push out and be free.

If I had waited till the memories of being me had faded I would never have moved forward. So go for it girl!

Serena