Is he interested or just awkward? What should I do?

[Irisgrey]

Hi, I am new here so I am sorry if I do things wrong. I am pre-op MtF in my 20's and I have been living full time for "many" years now. I have finally gotten up the nerve to start trying to date. It has been a rough road but here recently I have met someone and I don't know what to think. I was hoping for some advice and opinions from you all if you can spare a moment.

So we met online about a month ago. He knew up front that I am TG and didn't know how he would feel about dating me. We decided to get together and hang out and see where things go. I do have to mention him saying that he would have never known that I am TG. We hit it off very well and have continued to talk almost every day and see each other every weekend. In the beginning he stated that he hadn't been with anyone in a very long time. Then again neither have I so I am a bit out of practice as well. He is a bit nerdy and socially awkward but I am ok with that. The thing is I don't know if it is his awkwardness, if he has decided that he isn't interested bc I am TG, or if he just isn't interested at all.

This puts me in an awkward situation. With most guys I let them control the level of affection we give each other. It is something I have a hard time with in general. I am a very social girl and I like physical contact even if it isn't in any way sexual. However, I am scared to be pushy with men. I know everyone is different and that nothing is black and white. I have guy friends that are all about hugs and affection even if they aren't interested. Others not so much.

Either way I know he is awkward and so am I. if for different reasons. I am glad to have him as a friend and I don't want to ruin a friendship because I was too pushy but at the same time I don't want to waste my time either. I really don't know what to do and any help would be appreciated.

-Iris

[JLT1]

Well,

Perhaps talk with him about how you feel? Say something and wait for a response, don't just blop everything out.   You like him  (he speaks), you think he is great (he speaks), you mention physical things (he speaks).  You have fun.  .

Hugs!

Jen 

[Irisgrey]

Thanks for your reply and the advice. We generally have a good rhythm to our conversations as is so that I am not too worried about. I really don't want to jump the gun and say that I am interested and end up making things more awkward either. I would be willing to do that if he would open up a little bit and give me some clue. I have no idea how to do that though.

[JLT1]

What do you do when the two of you are together?

Is it boy-boy type stuff? girl-boy type stuff? or girl-girl type stuff??

[Irisgrey]

I have been out of the dating loop for about 7 years now. And that one relationship wasn't serious so it has really been more like 10 for me. Dare I say what constitutes each of the things you have listed. I have mostly let him control our time together and focused more on things he is interested in or we are both interested in thus far. It has all been an effort to try to make him feel comfortable and to open up. Basically dinner, watching tv/movie (at his place), video games and card games.
The topics of discussion have ranged across the board however. A lot of which has been focused on creativity. He likes to work with heavier materials mainly but also draws and sews. While I sew and make jewelry. We have been talking about writing music together as well. There has been a lot of political/religious conversation as well. He doesn't seem nervous when TG topics come about.
The other thing is that we both live with family members. I moved in with my grandmother to help take care of her after my grandfather passed away and he and his mother share an apartment. I can't really have him over here because of how my grandmother is. It is a miracle that she has accepted me being TG let alone having an a man that I am not married to in my room all night while she sleeps. We both work nights. His mother being in the next room or even in the living room may just add to his awkwardness though. Between money being tight for both of us right now and being up at night it is hard to find something to do that isn't at his place.
I appreciate your help and I am trying to give you as much information as I can. However that is the real issue. I don't have a whole lot myself. Maybe it is just me being used to being alone but at this point I am fine with whichever direction this relationship goes. I just hate wondering.

[Irisgrey]

It doesn't seem like it is going to go anywhere unless I initiate things and I am not sure I am ready to do that just yet. Thank you all for your help though!

[Irisgrey]

In case anyone cares. Things didn't work out the way I was hoping but that is ok. We have become really great friends!