Passing Q & A

[Jessica_W]

Hey everyone, I'm reaching out to those of you who have broad shoulders and are tall. Can we still be "passable" if we have this kind of build? Does HRT change our shoulders? I know we might shrink some. I'm just wondering how I'd look with my build. Thanks!

Jessica

[Devlyn]

Passing involves the entire package. I'm petite, my shoulders are tiny. I don't "pass" because my voice gives me away as male-born. Your shoulders could cause problems, but so can a hundred other things.

Hugs, Devlyn

[RavenL]

Hi Jessica, As Devlyn said passing involves the entire package. How tall are you and how broad are you're shoulders? That will help us better understand what we are working with. I'm 6'2 and my shoulders are a little over 17 inches so there's hope! One thing that helps with the shoulder issues is look in the mirror how you usually stand. You should notice that you have your shoulders hunched forward. Now draw your shoulders back and this will make you look more feminine. You can also wear clothes to help you out, v necks and scoop necks help draw the eye away from shoulders. Wear a darker colored top and a light bottom will help balance you out. Also having long hair will go a long way to making you look more narrow. Just try stuff out and you will find out what works for you.

Have a great day!
Lady R

[Jessica_W]

Good to know. Thank you Ladies! :-)

Jessica

[kittenpower]

Hey everyone, I'm reaching out to those of you who have broad shoulders and are tall. Can we still be "passable" if we have this kind of build? Does HRT change our shoulders? I know we might shrink some. I'm just wondering how I'd look with my build. Thanks!

Jessica

I'm 6 ft tall and my shoulders are proportionate; I am always gendered correctly and treated as a woman, but I think some still can tell that I am trans, even though my voice and mannerisms are feminine.

[KristinaM]

I'm 6 ft tall and my shoulders are proportionate; I am always gendered correctly and treated as a woman, but I think some still can tell that I am trans, even though my voice and mannerisms are feminine.

You look very pretty in your avatar, I would've never guessed!

[kittenpower]

Thanks

[Ms Grace]

I'm 6'3" and generally don't have trouble passing, except maybe when it's really cold and I'm wearing bulky clothing. Something to work on for winter. I suppose my shoulders are broad compared to a genetic female but there aren't that many my height to really compare to. But yeah, I'm slender enough, was never muscly so don't have trouble with passing. As others have said, it's a package and passing is about learning how to work with what you have and make it awesome.

[Jessica_W]

Awesome, thanks!

Jessica
:-)

[Gothic Dandy]

I agree with the others, passing involves the whole package. Body, mannerisms, voice, etc.

If it helps at all, I'm AFAB and have a broad ribcage, but nobody ever notices. Even in men's clothes I'm consistently gendered as female lolol poor me. 

[Nicole]

I'm 6'3" and generally don't have trouble passing, except maybe when it's really cold and I'm wearing bulky clothing. Something to work on for winter. I suppose my shoulders are broad compared to a genetic female but there aren't that many my height to really compare to. But yeah, I'm slender enough, was never muscly so don't have trouble with passing. As others have said, it's a package and passing is about learning how to work with what you have and make it awesome.

I have a cis friend who is 6'4 with a deep voice and no one has ever questioned her gender.

My theory on passing is this.
Too much is put on in the trans community on passing or tricking people that you are a woman.
You are a woman, you are just one of the millions who are tall, short, fat, skinny, has a bigger head, bigger nose, bigger brow bone, deep voice, high voice, big feet, small feet, hairy arms (I have darker arm now than before HRT, but I bleach every few days), big hands, small hands. Get my point?

Don't think of living from now on as "passing as a female" think of it as blending & fitting in and gaining the respect of your follow humans.

[Joi]

I have large bones and broad shoulders and no hips.  It's just who I am.  I've been full time now for only a couple of months and I've never heard a cross word "yet"  When I step out in public, I never think about those aspects of my body. I focus on my mission or the task at hand and exude a sense of determination and confidence. I think that this is reflected in how others perceive me.  When we admit to ourselves who we really are it shows from the inside out.

[barbie]

Broad shoulders is just a minor issue in passing.

My biggest obstacle is my low voice, but I do not care about passing, as those people I frequently interact with know very well who I am. They in part treat me as a woman, but I am actually very aggressive in teaching and research.

barbie~~

[Dena]

I am 6'2" with broad shoulder and what works for me is sleeves, They can be short or long but never sleeveless and stay ways from straps or strapless tops unless you wear a jacket over it. The one exception is I have wore a bikini and got away with it but there  were UUUHHHH others things to look at.

[JoanneB]

Broad shoulders has been fairly easy to deal with for me. Mine aren't huge so I guess that helps. I play up my high (now) narrow waist and (still) big hips. When you see the whole package all the proportions seem normal. Even the 6ft w/o heels part.

[April41]

One of the things that you can do, if you feel so inclined, is to offset wide shoulders by bringing focus away from them through your clothes, hair or accesories. Dark colors at top, brights at the bottom, v-necks, long necklaces or even having you hair fall over your shoulders can do a lot to take attention away from the shoulders.

But like others have said, passing is a whole package deal. The more cues you give as female the less you have to worry about when it comes to things that are harder to change. I have a friend who looks female, no doubt, but her mannerisms, how she communicates, etc, seem to get her gendered male sometimes.

[Rachel]

My shoulders at 18.5 inches and my shirt (2 years old shirt) cuffs which once were at my wrist are mid way on my palm (if I let them). I have a light jacket I need to fold the cuffs to wear it. So shoulders may reduce in size due to muscle loss. 

[Vicky Mitchell]

HRT changes a lot of things and you never know how you will end up.  Just like with weight loss what you end up with can be totally different.   I have lost quit a lot of weight pre HRT from just working out on weight loos that my wedding ring does not even fit any more.   And now I have dropped half a shoe size since starting HRT.    I am currently 40 years old, and I was 229 lbs and now I am 170 lbs pre HRT.  I am still big shoulder but have not started to loose the muscle mass yet but I am thinking once I do my shoulder have no choice but to get somewhat smaller as I lose muscles in my arms, shoulders and back.  So one thing I have learned is patience is the name game and just give it time and enjoy the ride we all will get there at our own pace.    So hang in there.