Thank you ladies, I have such a long way to go, and I'm trying build up my confidence by keeping in high spirits. One little roadblock I'm most concerned is my weight. About three years ago my depression took a dive, and I almost considered eating myself to death, literally. My biological clock was ringing, and I knew that if I didn't act I would my chances to transition while I'm still young enough to really pass.
I've been on track since May and have dropped considerable weight but my body type is strong so I have to do high tension workouts with low weight (like water aerobics) and drop it quick otherwise I'll retain too much muscle to look slender.
Luckily I know what I'm doing. When I was in my late teens I blowup anticipating adulthood and feeling of place. But by 23 I figured out how to keep myself looking slender and feminine. I just gotta keep on going.
There is a chance my pcp will want me to wait to until my weight gets closer to average before I start my hrt's, because estrogen can making it considerably harder to lose weight. But I'm prepared to put that part on hold.
As long as I keep on track I can make it there by mid-fall. And the reason for that is my workout plan comes in burst, because of the effect it has on metabolism. You have to eat to lose weight or you won't burn as much calories exercising. And eating healthy lowers your metabolism over time. So in order to correct that to have steady weight loss you have to eat unhealthy-while still working out-for about two weeks every four to five weeks to keep boosting your metabolism. You don't lose anything during those two weeks, but when you go back to the health foods it melts off of you.
Life comes in cycles, I learned much from New age stuff, but I'm not going to discuss that here. But I learned that all those weight loss solutions you always hear about don't work unless you are committed to changing your lifestyle.
I'm changing a lot more than my health, but like I said, I know what I'm doing, and I know what's right for me, and this thing I see in the mirror isn't me. What's inside will be outside soon enough. I'm adamant and I'm not looking back.
