Hi Ickybaby
A very warm welcome to Susan's
Glad you have joined us.
I am so sorry and sad for you that you have had such a rough time.
I too was born in times where "men were men and women were women" and like you, knew I was all wrong from a very early age, and was also very depressed as a kid through to mid teens.
I would suggest, if you have not already, trying to see a gender therapist/counsellor, they'll put you in touch with the right folks in your area. It is important to have some sort of physical interaction with people that could help you on a face to face level.
Of course being here you are welcomed with open arms, and, will bring you a lot of friendships, support, advice and suggestions.
Best wishes on your new life being you and its never to late xxx
L Katy