So I'll be 17 next month. I'm so confused with myself. When I was younger I wanted to be a boy. But then when I got older I pushed these emotions down. But now that I'm getting even older, they're coming back...
But I'm so confused because I'm having such gender dysphoria but I'm also really confused about my sexuality. But I guess I really can't figure that out until I figure out everything else. But I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual? But I think more gay than bisexual. Gay as in male on male...so ya.
I've only told my one friend but she thought I was joking. So that sucks. Maybe I'll try explaining it to her again.
I plan on keeping this a secret until I turn 18, move out of my judgmental family's house, and can make decisions on my own(like going to therapy and then going on T, most likely.)
But I'm so afraid to tell anyone. I don't think I'll be able to tell anyone while I'm in high school because my school is also a very judgmental place. So I guess I'll just have to tough it out until I graduate and then move to the city where nobody knows me!
Also I have anxiety(and maybe depression??? but honestly I'm thinking that's because of my gender dysphoria.)
So I'm like always stressing out.
I honestly think my family will not accept me. They're always making fun of people in the LGBTAQ+ community like why.....?
Anyway, that's me.
Also when I do transition, I think I want my name to be Nathaniel(Nathan or Nate.) Even though it's nothing like my current name. And if I change my first name I'll have to change my middle name, because it's super feminine. I'm debating as to whether I should change my last name or not because my last name is dumb and everyone pronounces it so wrong.
Dang I talk a lot. Whatever. Sorry.
So that's me. I guess call me Nathan.
