Ex Fiance forced to choose contact with me or her family

[LovelyLuci]

Things have been really difficult between my ex and I since i came out to her.  She recently moved out of my apartment and into her own place, but still has a bunch of things at my place.  She had been very erratic and suicidal in the wake of me coming out to her, so things had been very stressful when we were still sharing a living space.  I don't want to cut off communication with her completely as i still want her in my life as a friend, but that being said she just told me that her parents threatened to cut off communication with her if she spent any extended time with me.  This seems like a really messed up thing to do to someone who is already struggling to deal with the situation.  Should i let her cut me out of her life so she doesn't have to face the threats of her parents?  Any advice?

[LordKAT]

Allow her to choose and don't fault her if she chooses her family. Especially if she was close to them all along. Let her know you are open to being her friend if or when she chooses to be your friend.

[Hannah.Emma]

Very sad that someone would do this.  I have never understood why folks do things like this. 

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[RaptorChops]

You definitely don't need people in your life like that. Sadly, if her parents are going to say that she can't spend time with you then the best thing is to let her go. You don't want your life filled with negative people or else the thoughts will get to you. I know I sure as hell wouldn't want to be with someone who is controlled by their parents..

[Paige]

Allow her to choose and don't fault her if she chooses her family. Especially if she was close to them all along. Let her know you are open to being her friend if or when she chooses to be your friend.

I agree with Lord KAT.  You never know, it might be good for your long term relationship with her that she takes some time away from you. 

I'm a little curious what "extended time" means.  It doesn't sound like the parents want her to completely cut you off. 

Take care,
Paige

[LovelyLuci]

Thanks for the advice all!  My therapist agrees that it may be for the best if we try not to spend too much time together, just so that we can both grow independently and not reinforce the co-dependence again.  Things got a little better with my ex this weekend, and she even invited me to take a trip with her, but i decided to decline as to try and keep those healthy boundaries established.  Time to make more friends!

[Paige]

Thanks for the advice all!  My therapist agrees that it may be for the best if we try not to spend too much time together, just so that we can both grow independently and not reinforce the co-dependence again.  Things got a little better with my ex this weekend, and she even invited me to take a trip with her, but i decided to decline as to try and keep those healthy boundaries established.  Time to make more friends!

Hi Luci,

Glad to hear you're starting to figure this out.

Paige