Susan's Place Logo

News:

According to Google Analytics 25,259,719 users made visits accounting for 140,758,117 Pageviews since December 2006

Main Menu

help, how do i help my mother after coming out

Started by Alice18997, July 14, 2015, 07:07:35 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Alice18997

okay this post may seem a bit weird but here goes recently I went through the stress of A-level exams and towards the end I found myself 'remembering' (seems like the best ay to describe it) feelings and wants that I tried to put away at 16, specifically that I want to be a girl and that I felt I would have been happier if I had been born a girl. I decided to ignore or put those feelings aside because I new (by the way I'm a chemistry and physics student with a bit of a hobby in biology and physiology) that current tech could not give me what I wanted yet. shortly before the end of my exams I realised that I could not keep this up, the constant jealousy and envy of other girls and subsequent depression and sadness, waking up in the mourning and feeling nothing because I wasn't a girl after dreaming almost constantly that in the night, it all got too much with my exams. so I decided to do something about it, I told my mother. she is shocked and upset, although not at me thankfully, and is feeling very isolated and confused as she feels she has no where to turn to. I am living at home with her and my little sister, whom still does not know, but I I'll most likely be off to uni soon in about 3 months.

fortunately I do not feel isolated in anyway as I have friends that I trust implicitly and whom I know would support me (2 already do, both I told at 16), I have everyone here and all the comments should I feel confused or anxious, which has already been a big help so thank you.

but the problem is my mother, she is not what I would call the most tech literate of people and as I said she is feeling very confused, part of the problem is that anything I have access to that helps me doesn't really help her, she's not got the benefit of being in my head so she doesn't know what I think about anything I read or watch nor does she really know how I process information, add to that she isn't familiar with any terminology nor is she really familiar with dealing with terminology she doesn't know.

so now the back ground is done does anyone have any advice with how to help my mother, are there methods I can use to help make things less stressful for her or are there forums specifically for parents to help them. suffice it to say I'm at a bit of a loss as of what to do here so please any suggestions or advice would be very appreciated.
  •  

Laura_7

Hello and welcome  :)

If you are at uni there might be a therapist, who could help you along...
best way imo would be to look for a good gender therapist to help you...

and at uni there might be a lgbt club with other transgender people...

This might help concerning your mother:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077

Some people say they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...

This is a resource with a very emotional description of an accepting parent, talking about restraints some parents might have:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190486.msg1697083.html#msg1697083


and here are a few thoughts that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,191620.msg1708270.html#msg1708270

Well I'd say take the time you need but keep at it...


hugs
  •  

Alice18997

thanks Laura  :),

that as a big help there, and I think part of my mothers confusion was partly my own, I am no much more certain as to hat to do with myself, I don't know what gender I am but I do know that what ever is upstairs wants the rest female.

so this seem appropriate.

"... I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."

Hugs  :)
  •