I think I have always identified with being male instead of with my at-birth gender. I only recently discovered that I was transgender after reading about this actual, very tragic account of a transman's murder in this movie titled
Boys Don't Cry starring Hilary Swank. I seen it as a teen thinking how relatable my feelings were to Brandon in the film. I am not sure why I suddenly thought to research this during post-op from hernia repair. But you know how Wikipedia is; it'll lead you from one thing to another and that is exactly what happened.
After a rather considerable amount of research on things like gender identity disorder and gender dysphoria, I was and still am too convinced I qualify for both and feel transgender. I am not really ashamed of it or anything...I do not think its even abnormal or a big deal. Unfortunately most cisgender folk do(not all of them though), especially my family, who hardly approve of it(as if I myself chose to be transgender>.>).
My focus right now is to find a really awesome support group dedicated to transsexualism/->-bleeped-<- whether it has both M2F's and F2M's(like me
) or just F2M's. The important thing is that I will be among people like me who can understand the struggles I have to face all because of being transgender(for the most part anyway).
I have to make this rather brief. I have dialysis in a few hours and I need to get ready. That is another thing. I wanted so much to transition not only legally, but biologically as well(even though it is not necessary). But a gender therapist told me her opinion over the phone, that she really thinks no surgeon would risk any possible complications on me due to all the myriad of physical health problems I face(mainly lupus nephritis which resulted in dialysis
).
Anyway, I hope maybe I can get some help on this site, like help finding a support group where I live. I think PFLAG is a good one but they never return my phone calls.
Maybe its due to privacy concerns. I dunno. I will email them sometime this morning when I get a chance.
Well, I would also like help on cross dressing tips for F2M to pass as male. Its so annoying to get misgendered and as 'manly' as I appear right now, even with this boyish charm, people still refer to me as 'she.'
Its seems like now that I really want to be looked at as male, people misgender me even more than the other way around when I wanted to be recognized as my at-birth gender(which I hated and only did that out of being told to all my life).
I hope maybe I can help out people who are struggling with this in some way too. I am new to understanding transsexualism/->-bleeped-<- even though I am transgender and have actually been one all my life and I am not ashamed to say so!^^
