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tips on passing (for me)??

Started by gaygirl420, July 15, 2015, 12:23:29 AM

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gaygirl420

hi. im new/this is my first post here. i see there is a thread where everyone can post their pics and ask for feedback on whether or not they pass. i was going to post in there but i realized, i already know that i dont pass. i guess i want to know if anyone has any suggestions for me on how to pass better? im currently homeless so its kind of hard to invest a lot of time into my appearance every day, but for the sake of my own safety i feel like i need to pass as well as i can. please let me know if you have any ideas, thanks !

here are some pictures of me



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V M

Hi gaygirl  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Um, you look like a girl so I hope that's what you're going for, I'm not sure what else to say

Anyway, here's the rules and stuff

Please be sure to review

Things that you should read





Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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katrinaw

Warm welcome to Susan's Gaygirl

You look gorgeous, are you the singer in the band (presuming so)... what sort of genre?

Anyways welcome and look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Mariah

Hi Gaygirl, welcome to Susan's. I would say you look like a girl to me. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
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gaygirl420

aw wow thanks everyone ! yea i play guitar and sing in a band, we're kinda loud and melodic and sometimes yelly/screamy, idk if it anyone here likes that sort of thing
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katrinaw

I am OK with most genres...

Katy xx
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Valwen

you look amazing, if you have been running into passing problems its not visual. ::hugs::
What is a Lie when it's at home? Anyone?
Is it the depressed little voice inside? Whispering in my ear? Telling me to give up?
Well I'm not giving up. Not for that part of me that hates myself. That part wants me to wither and die. not for you. Never for you.  --Loki: Agent of Asgard

Started HRT Febuary 21st 2015
First Time Out As Myself June 8th 2015
Full Time June 24th 2015
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gaygirl420

 :embarrassed:
Quote from: Valwen on July 15, 2015, 02:24:59 AM
you look amazing, if you have been running into passing problems its not visual. ::hugs::

thanks ! i feel as though my voice sounds pretty good, usually if anyone misgenders me theyll correct themselves rwhen they hear my voice
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Serenation



Passing can be far more complicated than what you can see in an image (you look great). On the bright side if there is something that's giving you away like how you move or talk you can certainly sort that out.

p.s I like your telecaster
I will touch a 100 flowers and not pick one.
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iKate

Voice and mannerisms.

Looks are entirely secondary.
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gaygirl420

i wish there were a way to show you all what my voice sounds like? i dont think its a problem though

maybe mannerisms? but i really do think its my appearance. i work a low wage job and my uniform is just this ill-fitting men's t-shirt, and about half of the ppl i worked with were able to piece together that im trans (some didnt know until i told them). the people who could tell all said the same thing: "i could tell because of your frame, its bigger than most girls, also youre pretty tall". im 5'10" btw

i DO live in the bay area though. i recognize that a lot of people here are familiar with what trans ppl look like, so its easier to be identified as trans here even if you would pass as cis well in other places
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iKate

Quote from: gaygirl420 on July 15, 2015, 09:53:56 AM
i wish there were a way to show you all what my voice sounds like? i dont think its a problem though

Try Vocaroo. You can upload a sound recording and put a link here.


Quotemaybe mannerisms? but i really do think its my appearance. i work a low wage job and my uniform is just this ill-fitting men's t-shirt, and about half of the ppl i worked with were able to piece together that im trans (some didnt know until i told them). the people who could tell all said the same thing: "i could tell because of your frame, its bigger than most girls, also youre pretty tall". im 5'10" btw

i DO live in the bay area though. i recognize that a lot of people here are familiar with what trans ppl look like, so its easier to be identified as trans here even if you would pass as cis well in other places

Yeah it could be general dimensions. What you wear makes a difference. Some dresses make my shoulders look god awfully big and some make me look proportionate. I stopped wearing T shirts mostly except when doing yard work and stuff at home. I can't pull that off yet. HRT has to shrink me some more.

Re geography, I work in New York and I'm in the city every weekday. I walk in the village and chelsea a lot, basically the gayest part of the east coast I think. :) I don't get misgendered at all now. I do dress a lot differently, mostly skirts and dresses that compensate for my relative lack of hips. People haven't really asked me if I'm trans, I mean my immediate colleagues know but nobody else does. The lunch cafe staff don't know I think, at least they haven't told me. Maybe they're being nice or I'm passing. Who knows, who cares. Nobody and I mean nobody brings up the topic of trans unless I do and I never do with strangers. We have interns here now too and they only know me as a woman, and nobody has asked me about being trans. Maybe they picked it up, maybe they didn't. Who knows? I don't care but I'm not going to broadcast it.
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iKate

I'll be honest as well, in that your standing up shot gives a clue. Your shoulder and arms, while it may not outright out you, can give people a clue. Then again if I didn't know, and solely judging by those pictures I wouldn't know either. You're attractive and you pass, at least from those pics.
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KristinaM

Quote from: iKate on July 15, 2015, 10:04:21 AM
I'll be honest as well, in that your standing up shot gives a clue. Your shoulder and arms, while it may not outright out you, can give people a clue. Then again if I didn't know, and solely judging by those pictures I wouldn't know either. You're attractive and you pass, at least from those pics.

That's all I could say too, you have nice biceps, lol.  Not exactly out of line for a girl, especially one that probably hefts around her own sound equipment, but still.  Muscles take a really long time to slim down from what I hear.

Other than that, looking good to me!  I'd like to see a pic with your glasses on.  They can have a pretty big impact on feminizing a face.  I'm ready to ditch my male frames and pickup some female frames in a month or two.
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Lorlor

I think you pass very well in those picturEs. It's always the small things too, like the cute star necklace and the tank top are very casually feminine. You have a sweet delicate  smile that probably helps too. Just keep up what you're doing!
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gaygirl420

Quote from: iKate on July 15, 2015, 09:57:38 AM
Try Vocaroo. You can upload a sound recording and put a link here.

ok, so last time i posted a link a moderator removed it, maybe that wont happen again

this is me reading 'rainbow passage', inspired by those yeson voice center videos. i recorded it like 2 months ago so my voice is probably slightly different now

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1C3vjXMfoWh
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iKate

Quote from: gaygirl420 on July 15, 2015, 12:27:49 PM
ok, so last time i posted a link a moderator removed it, maybe that wont happen again

this is me reading 'rainbow passage', inspired by those yeson voice center videos. i recorded it like 2 months ago so my voice is probably slightly different now

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1C3vjXMfoWh

Your voice sounds feminine. I wouldn't guess "trans" at all.
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gaygirl420

aw thanks !!

jw, would it be weird to make a thread about if my singing voice passes where i link to my band? its something id rly like feedback on since ive put a lot of work into it
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iKate

Quote from: Tristan on July 15, 2015, 10:15:45 AM
Other than that, looking good to me!  I'd like to see a pic with your glasses on.  They can have a pretty big impact on feminizing a face.  I'm ready to ditch my male frames and pickup some female frames in a month or two.

Yep. I have big ugly square man glasses. I am dumping them next month when my insurance can buy me a new pair.
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iKate

Quote from: gaygirl420 on July 15, 2015, 01:54:31 PM
aw thanks !!

jw, would it be weird to make a thread about if my singing voice passes where i link to my band? its something id rly like feedback on since ive put a lot of work into it

I'm not sure. I guess if it's your personal site. I would run it by Susan or the forum staff first before you post a link.
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