can't sympathize

[enigmaticrorschach]

I can't sympathize with anyone's feeling. i want to but i just cant seem to. I can relate but I don't have an ounce of care. someone starts crying and everyone tries to console them but I just walk away and go on with my business. these people could even be those close to me. sometimes I think I'm a bad person

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[Yenneffer]

I can't sympathize with anyone's feeling. i want to but i just cant seem to. I can relate but I don't have an ounce of care. someone starts crying and everyone tries to console them but I just walk away and go on with my business. these people could even be those close to me. sometimes I think I'm a bad person

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Hey echo u ok

[Jacqueline]

Sympathy (or lack there of) does not make one good or bad. Do you relish in the hurts and pains of others? That might come closer but moral judgements are pretty hard to nail down. It sounds like you can empathize. If that is the case, you understand the other's situation just do not share in it.

Don't feel too badly about it. The positive side is that you are able to come up with creative solutions while others are stuck in the emotion of the other's situation.

Just my couple of pennies.

With warmth,

Joanna

[enigmaticrorschach]

I guess if you put it that why, I still remain neutral. but people call me soulless because I just walk away and not offer a helping hand or so any empathy.

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[Yenneffer]

Please show empathy

[Alice Love]

I guess if you put it that why, I still remain neutral. but people call me soulless because I just walk away and not offer a helping hand or so any empathy.

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Sounds like you exhibit psychopathic traits, I think that was it at least. I don't mean that in any negative way, just from what I've read. If that is the case, there is an article I read that shows how the brain operates differently and results in a lack of empathetic feeling.

In other words, your not a bad person.

[Mariah]

Just because you walk away and show no empathy doesn't make you soulless. Echo your still a good person. You clearly care enough that it concerns you that you don't do those things. I suppose there was a time when I would have been considered that way. When your ready you will be able to. I know for awhile after being on HRT I wondered why I didn't get that crying that we all associate often with it. Yet my emotions were stable and the most I generally did was tear up. The fact is when I was ready the happened and now happens so easily it isn't funny. Be patient and take one step at time. Also this would be something good to talk over with your therapist. Hugs
Mariah

[Jacqueline]

Plus 1 for the therapist discussion.

Just to be ridiculously specific. Empathy would be understanding the feeling but not always joining. People can empathize with a villain  in a story or even a protagonist and still not like or feel for them. I experience that myself. I see how a person can feel that badly. I may even have pity for the situation but I don't join in the feeling.

Don't cast a dark shadow over yourself for this.

With warmth,

Joanna

[enigmaticrorschach]

well it has been an ongoing subject in therapy . the solutions that were brought forth was A) deal with my past. meaning I have to literally forgive my mother. B) allow my self to grieve and cry even if its if over nothing because my subconscious put a complete lock on that ability. C) just go with the everyday flow and stop pushing against it. so far, I've managed to let things flow ad they are and ride with the current, I somewhat forgave my mother but not really enough to stop the worry. as far as my lock, that doesn't seem to be budging anytime soon which makes everyone worried because with my lock, I won't get anywhere.

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[Mariah]

It's interesting that you mention these solutions. I never did put these to things together, but it wouldn't surprise me if the two were related. One thing that during therapy I came to the realization was that I hadn't grieved my dad's death. It was something I buried and moved on from without giving it a lot of thought. It was one of a few things that happened that freed my heart to truly feel. Echo a big part of therapy is facing our issues and not running away from them. I spent years running away from my issues in regards to my gender and my dad. Fact is both issues were intertwined with each other. I don't know you situation, but you never know that could be your case too. I can only hope you gain what your looking for from your transition. Hugs.
Mariah

well it has been an ongoing subject in therapy . the solutions that were brought forth was A) deal with my past. meaning I have to literally forgive my mother. B) allow my self to grieve and cry even if its if over nothing because my subconscious put a complete lock on that ability. C) just go with the everyday flow and stop pushing against it. so far, I've managed to let things flow ad they are and ride with the current, I somewhat forgave my mother but not really enough to stop the worry. as far as my lock, that doesn't seem to be budging anytime soon which makes everyone worried because with my lock, I won't get anywhere.

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[Jacqueline]

And you are making it somewhere. You made it through some of this. The journey is everything. I keep hearing it's a marathon, not a sprint. Keep working. I personally think we should all be trying to improve ourselves through our lives. There is not a destination but goals. The important thing is how you travel to those goals.

Hope I don't sound too Pollyanna(no offense to anyone with that name). To quote a great fictional thinker of our time, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." , but in your case you may want to follow the sea turtles go with the flow idea. Can you tell I really liked "Finding Nemo"?

Good luck and a smooth journey.

With warmth,

Joanna

[enigmaticrorschach]

its true, though I haven't known my father because my birth mother gatebkocked, when he died and I heard about it, I did start to grieve. recently I have started grieving because what's missing is a family I can call my own as well as my roots. in order to keep myself from breaking, I locked all reason of human value, all senses of empathy and sympathy for others. the question was brought up why don't I want to allow my little 2 year old niece to be around me. she is always wanting to play with me, talk to me but I push her away. I guess its when I look at her, than at her parents, I get angry and jealous. she has a family to call her own, I don't. sure my adopted mom is great but blood is thicker than water. I'm just a half blood of my biological family. I'm just half of a whole. I just don't fit in.

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[Marly]

I do sympathize and often have empathy. But it isn't always good for me since sometimes it pushes me away from my decision to go on HRT. I have also talked about this with my therapist, since I am trying to get over my self-consciousness problem. It makes me think that I would be taking a step forward for myself. But might be taking 10 steps back socially (in my life, that is)
That may not be the case, but I do worry about it. My therapist tells me I need to care a bit less. But emphasizes that the support for me here, and the care for each other here, is very good for me.
But maybe your stepping away from caring or empathizing is a guard against the occasional  negative feelings that can arie from some ruminations.

[Jacqueline]

I can't even begin to imagine your path so far. That sounds brutal.

I am embarrassed by how well I have had it. I feel a little petulant when I think I don't fit in anywhere. But here we are.

I don't know you but you don't strike me as a half of anything. Using a familial unit that is ordinary, you do not fit the description. But few of us here are ordinary in a traditional sense. Your niece senses something special in you.

I know it is hard to not feel jealous of normal units. I feel a little like that looking at girls just going through puberty. Not angry but a little bitter and sad. Then I realize I am feeling sorry for myself. I have no cause to(not preaching, purely to myself). Maybe, if you could imagine how you would have played together if you and she were a pair of girls, the same age...

I'm suggesting too much. Didn't sleep much last night. I just want you to feel that you can keep making progress.

You are whole here.

With loving thoughts,

Joanna

[smdh]

In short, I empathize with your lack of empathy

The longer I have decided to not pursue transition or even tell people I'm trans, the more extreme my distance became toward even my closest of friends.

I mean, I get the psychology of this--I feel like I can't have THEE conversation with them, so I begin to resent them EVEN THOUGH they've done nothing wrong. AND in my heart of hearts, I know they'd still love me.

I understand empathy and resentment are mutually exclusive, but figured I'd share nonetheless.