Gay men

[Andrew]

For some reason, I've heard a lot of FTMs badmouthing gay men. I'm not sure where this comes from. Is it that gay FTMs don't feel accepted by them? Or that they're jealous? Or are they afraid to be identified with effeminate gays? I've been wondering this because I only know two gay guys on my campus. (Even though we're a mini-Ivy, we've got a disproportionate number of fratty jocks.) One is possibly the coolest guy I know. He's out, he's proud, and he's been enormously accepting of me. In fact, he just dropped by to say hi, and I showed him my chest -- he says I look great, lol! The other gay guy -- well, the less said about him, the better. He outed me to my last girlfriend before I was ready, and he's been trashing me behind my back. So I've got these totally different reactions to me from two gay men, and I'm wondering what other FTMs think of gay guys.

EDIT: By "gay men," I mean gay genetic men.

[Nero]

I don't think of them any differently than any other men.

[Jay]

I don't think of them any differently than any other men.

Me too!

[Running Renegade]

I think of them the same way I do straight men, genetic or trans. It's a person with their own opinions, beliefs, etc. The only difference is who they date/sleep with.

[tinkerbell]

Perhaps this happens because some FTM's feel that a "less masculine behavior" (whatever this is) threatens their male identity.  Who knows what goes on in people's heads?  All I know is that this type of behavior is very common among some heterosexual natal guys, so why would FTM's be the exception?

tink

[Butterfly]

Knowing who you are and being comfortable in that is the biggest problem people have today.  I guess these FTM guys need to stop putting the blame on others for their own insecurities.  Taking into consideration that there are gay men out there doesn't deter any FTM from being able to date women or act a certain way.

I am the woman who has a bunch of gay men friends. I love each of them, Wonderful friendships! But for the life of me can not find a straight guy for me. So, If all of the gay guys became straight, we would end up with a world full of un-happy gay guys who know that they are in the wrong relationship, but won't, or can't do anything about it.

Therefore, I think that more guys should be gay because I would think that nobody would ever complain about 'embarrassment of riches,'  Don't you ever hear women complaining that all men are either taken or gay? I would love the idea of all gay guys becoming straight though. ~laugh~

[Christo]

I dont discriminate against nobody. gay. straight. bi. trans. no trans, androgyn. black, white, mexican.  if we want respect.  we gotta respect first.  my mom taught me that.  to much sh#t goin on in da world to hate us on ttop of dat.

[Jeannette]

It's usually men who hold homophobic views that are significantly more likely to elicit a sexual response when presented with homoerotic material.  Their homophobia is an attempt to sublimate feelings within themselves.  It has been proven and I am not making any of this up.

Most straight men (FTM or not) are uncomfortable with homosexual sex because they don't think of men as sexual objects. The thought of something they consider non-sexually appealing as being "sexually appealing" is uncomfortable for a lot of these peeps.

[Andrew]

I've found that a lot of gay men are highly oblivious about transpeople and view them through a lens as being some sort of odd offshot of gay culture. To these men, transwomen are supposed to be campy surgically-altered drag queens and transmen are really just self-loathing dykes who wish they had a d*ck. That doesn't mean they aren't caring people, because I think they mean well, they just have very outdated attitudes that are stuck in 1970's bar culture. I believe some aspects of the gay community are more welcoming than others. For instance, Bears (hairy, chubby gay men) seem to be more welcoming towards transmen (which is good, because there are a lot of chubby, hairy transguys) and Radical Faeries (kind of spiritual, hippie-ish gay men very much into group bonding) also sound like they're more open towards transmen than the standard issue urban, 'walk around in expensive D&G workout wear gay male.'

ciao,
Gina M.

This is a good point -- a lot of gay men don't take transpeople seriously. The ones that do, though, are absolutely fabulous (I never thought I'd use that word!)

[Andrew]

Oh YES, there are a LOT of gay men who are absolutely fabulous. Think how dull this world would be without them!

A scene I saw today. Picture row upon row of normal black and blue umbrellas. Then, out of the blue -- a rainbow one! Turned out it was -- who else -- a fabulous gay guy I know.

[regina]

Oh YES, there are a LOT of gay men who are absolutely fabulous. Think how dull this world would be without them!

A scene I saw today. Picture row upon row of normal black and blue umbrellas. Then, out of the blue -- a rainbow one! Turned out it was -- who else -- a fabulous gay guy I know.

Okay, I do just NEED to say that, living in San Francisco and witnessing the wide variety of gay men that I do, I know that a not ALL gay men have good taste (sorry Queer Eye lovers). There are some very schlubby gay guys out there with bad haircuts, ill fitting clothes, 10-year old faded Polo shirts and Members Only jackets watching some truly God-awful cabaret performances. But, yes, on average, your basic gay male does bring some much needed panache to an often boring world. Bless their hearts.

XO
Gina M.

[Andrew]

Okay, I do just NEED to say that, living in San Francisco and witnessing the wide variety of gay men that I do, I know that a not ALL gay men have good taste (sorry Queer Eye lovers). There are some very schlubby gay guys out there with bad haircuts, ill fitting clothes, 10-year old faded Polo shirts and Members Only jackets watching some truly God-awful cabaret performances. But, yes, on average, your basic gay male does bring some much needed panache to an often boring world. Bless their hearts.

XO
Gina M.

Everyone displays their horrible taste in a unique way. A gay guy won't have a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt with holes in it...but I've seen some shoes that would peel paint, lol...they probably looked great on the runway model...and the orange hair! What is it with old queens and orange hair?

[regina]

What is it with old queens and orange hair?

It's the old queen version of old ladies with blue hair. Kind of like an old dyke with a mullet and cargo pants or crossdressers with Dynel wigs and shoulder pads. They are sacred symbols of our culture and we must honor them as the religious icons they are.

XO
Gina M.

[Andrew]

It's the old queen version of old ladies with blue hair. Kind of like an old dyke with a mullet and cargo pants or crossdressers with Dynel wigs and shoulder pads. They are sacred symbols of our culture and we must honor them as the religious icons they are.

All hail our heavenly queens!

[regina]

It's the old queen version of old ladies with blue hair. Kind of like an old dyke with a mullet and cargo pants or crossdressers with Dynel wigs and shoulder pads. They are sacred symbols of our culture and we must honor them as the religious icons they are.

All hail our heavenly queens!

Andrew, bubula, thanks for the pic of one of the most underrated "classical artistes" of our times, and middle America's very own "favorite aging queen." (hey, his hair wasn't orange—you owe aging queens an apology!) I'm not sure he, however, is in heaven since Wladziu (his first name) actually denied he was gay all his life, and very possibly gave his boyfriend/chauffer HIV and then proceeded to cut the young man out of his will (a lawsuit ensued). Fortunately, I think Lee (as his buds always called him on tv) could care less if he were in heaven, and is more likely in the same place as Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly and all the other ->-bleeped-<-gy men who conservative middle Americans loved so much during the 60s and 70s. Probably, it's someplace slightly glitzy, floating above the ground somewhere between Palm Springs (where old queens now go to party and die) and Vegas, and is populated by gorgeous bar boys, hunky waiters and gardeners all with gorgeous overly-tanned bodies, stripped to the waist, and little bow-ties.

Can you tell I really do miss old school ->-bleeped-<-dom, where the Nelly was queen and nobody cared how buff and straight they looked? Things just aren't the same with the boys!

XO
Gina M. (a sentimental ->-bleeped-<- hag)

[Shana A]

The ones that do, though, are absolutely fabulous (I never thought I'd use that word!)

For a few years during my process of realizing I was trans, I first came out as a gay, then later bi, male. I don't know if I ever attained "fabulous" status, but I wasn't too bad   

y2g

[katia]

the fascinating thing about homophobic men (bio or ftm) is that they always believe that no matter how ugly and smelly they might be, every gay man in the world is lusting after them.

[tinkerbell]

the fascinating thing about homophobic men (bio or ftm) is that they always believe that no matter how ugly and smelly they might be, every gay man in the world is lusting after them.

ROFLOL    That's soooooo true! 

tink

[Ron]

The only member of the gay community I have EVER bad mouthed is butch dykes who insist on having their breast removed, dress like men and have short hair cuts, but identify as women. I know it's closed minded of me because these people may adhere to the belief that the a gender spectrum, but it's these women that make my mother believe I should live my life as one of them. "Oh you don't need hormones or to change your name, just be a butch dyke." NO.

I have NEVER bad mouthed gay men of any form, in fact I think they're awesome! XD

[Andrew]

the fascinating thing about homophobic men (bio or ftm) is that they always believe that no matter how ugly and smelly they might be, every gay man in the world is lusting after them.

I love this! Yes, gay men just lust after their bald, beery, sweaty bodies. One glimpse of the confederate flag trucker hat that they use to hide their bald spot, and they just can't resist!