interview at mental health clinic

[KevinReproducedFree]

Aight, so I've been going to a psychotherapist due to depression and anxiety and I came out to her because me not able to transition due to my parents is a huge cause of all of my problems.
I'll have an interview at an official clinic for longer treatment the friday after this one and my mom has to come with me so they can see what the situation is like. Now, my mom emotionally abuses me by saying stuff like "i'll kill myself if you change anything about your body" and "I'd rather have you dead as a girl than living as a boy."
My anxiety is starting up again and I kind of regret coming out but at the same time I just want to be like I want to. She thinks being trans is either a phase or something made up to reduce the population, and I can't get this out of her head.
I'm afraid of what will happen after the interview. Of what she will do. There's no way of avoiding it, either. I'm scared. I'm scared she will be angry with me, that she would hurt me or hurt herself. I know she won't commit suicide, but i'm still scared. Idk what to do.

[FriendsCallMeChris]

Hey Kevin,
I'm horrible w/ advice, but I can offer sympathy, if that helps at all. 

I've had to really get grounded and centered to be strong through  my transition. Here's something that helps me-- We all have one life to live, however we want to live it.  I don't have anyone else's life to live but mine.  I don't have my mom's life to live--that's up to her. She can think and act however she wants to.  And so can I.   

So, if your mom wants to stay in denial, she can.  But that doesn't mean you have to go along with her. 

Hope your session goes smoother than you predict!

[KristinaM]

Bear in mind, the following is just my opinion:

Having this conversation with you, your mom and a professional present may actually be beneficial to you.  If she truly is as hostile as she sounds, then having that type of statement from her on the record will be in your favor.  However, if she suppresses her feelings during the interview then you should stress to your interviewer (in private) that the calm actions/reactions she is presenting are not normal and that you may not feel safe going home.

[Cindy]

Aight, so I've been going to a psychotherapist due to depression and anxiety and I came out to her because me not able to transition due to my parents is a huge cause of all of my problems.
I'll have an interview at an official clinic for longer treatment the friday after this one and my mom has to come with me so they can see what the situation is like. Now, my mom emotionally abuses me by saying stuff like "i'll kill myself if you change anything about your body" and "I'd rather have you dead as a girl than living as a boy."
My anxiety is starting up again and I kind of regret coming out but at the same time I just want to be like I want to. She thinks being trans is either a phase or something made up to reduce the population, and I can't get this out of her head.
I'm afraid of what will happen after the interview. Of what she will do. There's no way of avoiding it, either. I'm scared. I'm scared she will be angry with me, that she would hurt me or hurt herself. I know she won't commit suicide, but i'm still scared. Idk what to do.

Kevin,
There is one thing you have to understand. It is your life. It is your body and it is you who makes the decisions.
No one else.
Be strong.
If your Mum has issues, guess whose problem that is?
Your Mum, not you.

[KevinReproducedFree]

aaaaa sorry for the late response I was at my SO's for a few days

thank you for responding though. It really helped me <3
In the meantime I've had a talk with my mom to try and get her to understand it better and to catch a few blows in advance. She seems to be more accepting now so I'm hella happy about that. She said she'll allow me to wear my binder without making any comments and to buy more "boy's" clothes.
I'll still start on my transition when I can despite what she thinks of it. Though it turns out that she's just worried about what effects the hormones would be able to have on my health. So I promised her to do more research on that and stuff. Maybe she'll come around eventually and everything will be fine!