Unsure of Gender

[MeghanMe]

Hi Leki,

I'm new here, but it sounds like we're in a similar place. I'm wondering where I am on the spectrum, too. I never felt a need to transition, but I've always wished I could be female. As someone else said, if I had three wishes, the first would make me a girl.

So, what to do about this? I'm trying therapy, and experimenting with cross dressing (which I've never done before now), and just thinking... a lot. Whatever happens, I'll find out a lot about myself!

There are a lot of great responses on this thread.

[ajames.shirley]

I felt different about 4-5 and hate my body part, and knew I was transgender at 10. As a child, I used to crossdress in my sisters clothing and sometimes sew up or make myself something, but that stopped after 18-19. But I'm 25 now, taking hormones and I'm feeling unsure because everyone around me telling me I'm not a real transgender. I'm really confused what I am, because I'm not FT yet and I don't even know how to wear feminine clothing or makeup. I just take my HRT and move on through my day, feeling good about myself until I look in the mirror. But, do I really want to live as a woman? I have body dysphoria and all the classic signs. I have always seen myself as the woman in sex and in life, but I've been forced to live the complete opposite already and it has damaged me mentally. I'm constantly doubting my intentions.. Someone called me a man with a fetish the other day. My roommate said I was a 'fake ->-bleeped-<-'. Everyone's opinions are causing me to second guess myself. If a genie popped out of a bottle and granted me 3 wished, the first would be to be female. And it's not because I 'envy' or are 'jealous' or believe women have 'feminine privilege' (all which have been accused on me), it's because it's who I am inside suppressed behind all the bs.

Don't ever let anyone dictate the validity of your feelings. Nobody can determine what gender you are but you, and who are they to dictate what a real transgender person is? Just because there are different degrees of transition does not mean any one transperson is less real than the next. Stay true to who you know yourself to be. Don't look for who you are with your brain or your emotions. Look with your soul and your gut instinct, and always be true to that despite the people trying to knock you down. You are a brave person for facing the odds and doing what is right for you.

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