"You're not a woman" - How to deal with soul crushers.

[Sydney Blair]

So I went to a weight loss retreat, did the exercises as the instructors told me to do. I NEVER hinted to these people that I had any sort of gender dysphoria, though I suppose in hindsight that I was doing the exercises in a "dainty" manner, I was speaking in a soft voice, there was a bathrobe in the room I rented, so I decided to put it on and when the people who ran the thing saw me, they looked VERY angry. This all culminated in the guy who runs the place pulling me aside like a child at elementary school who picked on another kid and saying to me "You're not a woman".

I wasn't dressed like a woman, didn't have a woman's hairstyle, though just because he "picked something up on me", this bozo decided to make this nasty remark. Who would think that when not even presenting as a woman, and you have this condition, it would be used against you?

No matter how you're presenting, how would you address this situation? It turned out to be a real religious nut type of place and they started asking me to go to church with them and wouldn't stop babbling about God.

I've had this crap happen before - I dyed my hair and a cousin of mine responds "We're men". How would you respond to that nonsense?

[Marlee]

This all culminated in the guy who runs the place pulling me aside like a child at elementary school who picked on another kid and saying to me "You're not a woman".

well I'm pre-everything at the moment, and six feet tall, so it may not be of help. But at " saying to me "You're not a woman," I'd be inclined to look him straight in the eye and reply "and you're not a man" An remind him that that religion is supposed to be ABOUT tolerance.

[Jill F]

Real men don't care about things like that.  Only weak-minded cowards who lack confidence in their own masculinity will attack others for not adhering to arbitrary male standards that vary from culture to culture.

When people in school used to call me "->-bleeped-<-got", I would laugh at them and tell them that only people that question their own sexuality throw that term around and that perhaps they, themselves were not confident heterosexuals.  It's amazing how many guys would turn beet red over that zinger.   It was also fun on a couple occasions telling guys to ask a certain ex-girlfriend of theirs about how big of a "->-bleeped-<-got" I was. 

[HoneyStrums]

we're men? NO, you are you, I am Me, together we are we, but we are not men.

To you are not a woman?
question them,

did I ever say I was?
do you know what kliefelter is?
have you ever questioned yourself?
do you know what androgen insensisivity is?
do you know me?


Because UNTIL you can answer YES to atleast these five things, you have not the mental qualification to take part in any conversation that questions me. First know of what you speak, before you speak of what you think you know.

[suzifrommd]

Anyone who polices another's gender is RUDE.

Treat them the way you'd treat any other rude person.

[Beth Andrea]

My future plan for such comments include:

"That doesn't concern you."

"And what of it?"

"Is that a problem?"

And if they reply with anything other than an apology, "You should take therapy for that."

[brianna1016]

Real men don't care about things like that.  Only weak-minded cowards who lack confidence in their own masculinity will attack others for not adhering to arbitrary male standards that vary from culture to culture.

When people in school used to call me "->-bleeped-<-got", I would laugh at them and tell them that only people that question their own sexuality throw that term around and that perhaps they, themselves were not confident heterosexuals.  It's amazing how many guys would turn beet red over that zinger.   It was also fun on a couple occasions telling guys to ask a certain ex-girlfriend of theirs about how big of a "->-bleeped-<-got" I was. 

You're sooo correct!

[stephaniec]

personally I'd make sure I was going to a safe place. It's sounds quite ludicrous what you went through. Kind of like having your car brake down in a town and upon waking finding yourself amongst cannibals looking for their next meal.

[saraht123]

It doesn't sound like you did anything to provoke a reaction like that. They're obviously completely out of touch with the world of today. Sorry you had to put up with that behaviour.

[Lady Smith]

I've lived in a small rural town for some years now and the only people who have passed any comments about my gender status are the folk from the local borderline fringe 'christian' church.  I just ignore them for the idiots they are.

[V M]

Let's tone it down a bit people and leave the foul language elsewhere 

[Zoetrope]

I just chortle and say 'Well, you're not much of a man yourself'.

[kittenpower]

Let's tone it down a bit people and leave the foul language elsewhere 

I try to follow the philosophy of "what would Jesus do?", rather than "what would Joe Pesci do?" 

[Alereic]

So I went to a weight loss retreat, did the exercises as the instructors told me to do. I NEVER hinted to these people that I had any sort of gender dysphoria, though I suppose in hindsight that I was doing the exercises in a "dainty" manner, I was speaking in a soft voice, there was a bathrobe in the room I rented, so I decided to put it on and when the people who ran the thing saw me, they looked VERY angry. This all culminated in the guy who runs the place pulling me aside like a child at elementary school who picked on another kid and saying to me "You're not a woman".

I wasn't dressed like a woman, didn't have a woman's hairstyle, though just because he "picked something up on me", this bozo decided to make this nasty remark. Who would think that when not even presenting as a woman, and you have this condition, it would be used against you?

No matter how you're presenting, how would you address this situation? It turned out to be a real religious nut type of place and they started asking me to go to church with them and wouldn't stop babbling about God.

I've had this crap happen before - I dyed my hair and a cousin of mine responds "We're men". How would you respond to that nonsense?

Without context?

Including laws and such... tell him to mind his own business. You're not going to change his mind, and he won't attempt to understand yours. Better to live and let live or, better still, ignore the naysayers.

Sent from my XT1028 using Tapatalk


Mod Edit- Advocating illegal behavior is against TOS

[Mariah]

 
Okay folks between foul language and advocating illegal behavior as a way to respond in these types of situations have resulted it being necessary to lock this thread. Thread Locked.

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