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Scared Witless

Started by MichelleZelda, August 09, 2015, 10:13:33 AM

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RavenL

Quote from: MichelleZelda on August 28, 2015, 10:00:56 AM
If I could lose 50 lbs (probably more like 65, I've put on weight) I'd really be looking at a mich more ideal self finally.

I've dropped over a hundred pounds. Just eat really healthy and avoid fast food, along with sugar filled drinks and processed foods. One thing that worked for me was figuring out how much money a month a spent on food. And then seeing how much extra I'd have if I didn't. Plus it means more money for clothes!!!!!






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Sandy74

For me my cross dressing is all over the board. One year I am buying clothes all the time and spending money on panties and other articles of clothing that are feminine and other times I go months and months without wearing female clothes and will get rid of all my feminine clothes. I feel like at my age I will never just settle with the feminine aspect of it even though I want to go further than just dressing up. I have found myself being totally memorized by she males and would myself love to be the same. To have breasts but still have the male genitals but a really feminine body, yet I feel that will always be a pipe dream for me.
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Dena

Quote from: Sandy74 on August 29, 2015, 06:08:22 AM
For me my cross dressing is all over the board. One year I am buying clothes all the time and spending money on panties and other articles of clothing that are feminine and other times I go months and months without wearing female clothes and will get rid of all my feminine clothes. I feel like at my age I will never just settle with the feminine aspect of it even though I want to go further than just dressing up. I have found myself being totally memorized by she males and would myself love to be the same. To have breasts but still have the male genitals but a really feminine body, yet I feel that will always be a pipe dream for me.
I am not real familiar with this but it sound like you might be gender fluid. If you haven't already, you should check it out as there are others like that here. They may be able to give you a better understanding of your feelings and help you get to a place where you are more comfortable.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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MichelleZelda

Quote from: Sandy74 on August 29, 2015, 06:08:22 AM
For me my cross dressing is all over the board. One year I am buying clothes all the time and spending money on panties and other articles of clothing that are feminine and other times I go months and months without wearing female clothes and will get rid of all my feminine clothes. I feel like at my age I will never just settle with the feminine aspect of it even though I want to go further than just dressing up. I have found myself being totally memorized by she males and would myself love to be the same. To have breasts but still have the male genitals but a really feminine body, yet I feel that will always be a pipe dream for me.
I dread the idea of wearing guys clothes much now that I have enough women's clothes
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allinAllison

Quote from: Sandy74 on August 29, 2015, 06:08:22 AM
For me my cross dressing is all over the board. One year I am buying clothes all the time and spending money on panties and other articles of clothing that are feminine and other times I go months and months without wearing female clothes and will get rid of all my feminine clothes. I feel like at my age I will never just settle with the feminine aspect of it even though I want to go further than just dressing up. I have found myself being totally memorized by she males and would myself love to be the same. To have breasts but still have the male genitals but a really feminine body, yet I feel that will always be a pipe dream for me.

Hey you sound a lot like me... I've gone through those purge and shame cycles before.  It doesn't have to be a pipedream.  I have been paralyzed by fear that even if I did transition, I'd still be a 6' tall woman with linebacker shoulders... but I just can't be happy as a man, so I'm going for it.

I'm no authority, but there's no harm in talking to a therapist.  I had never wanted to change my penis to a vagina, but had wanted to otherwise feminize like you're saying.  After accepting my feelings, I'm actually intrigued about the idea.  Again, you might not and you don't even need this to otherwise be happy...

Anyway, I'm a month late here... but much love, hope you find peace in your struggles.
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Sandy74

I am not sure what I am because sometimes I can be so happy with dressing in private in female clothes and then the next minute I can see a pair of hiking boots that I really like and be like Hell Yeah those would look good with my shorts and sweatshirt. Perhaps I am Gender Fluid (guess I will have to look that one up). It seems like there are so many terms for everything out there. I guess happiness will come sooner or later and I will discover what the end path is when I get there.
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Allison Wunderland

Let's suggest here that when you "cross" you go to the polar extreme in cis-F attire.

First thing everyone seemingly tries is "skirt/dress in public" . . .

But if you pay serious attention, most cis-F don't wear skirts/dresses most of the time.

It's helpful to PAY SOME SERIOUS ATTENTION, (as in stop and assess, inventory, look at how it coordinates), to what/how women actually dress. I'm betting most women are wearing men's clothes, dressed casual in pants, some sort of "sneaker" casual shoe, hooded sweatshirt. (This from the woman sitting across from me right now.)

Women are also wearing tank tops (stretch these days), T's cut for females, earrings, jewelry, hair accessories . . .

Which is what I wear, every day.

On me it presents "middle" somewhere. "But uses the M restroom." I don't present cis-F. I present more "middle" -- And so do a lot of cis-F women.

Typically, cross-dressing cis-M try to go to the extreme gender presentation pole -- skirts, lace, frills, pastel, floral print.

Gawd knows I have racks and racks of this sort of stuff. Frills I can wear "under" other stuff. Skirts have me looking "Man in a dress."

For now, at 67 and non-binary, I'm happy just not looking "Macho" . . . like the majority of cis-M locally. You know, "shave your head and grow a goatee." LMAO

Carhartts, Romeos, big lumbering truck, wallet on a chain . . .

(ICK ! ! ! )

"Let us appropriate & subvert the semiotic hegemony of the hetero-normative dyad."

"My performativity has changed since reading Dr. Judith Butler, Ph.D., Berkeley."
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BridgetYvonne

The 1st time I CD'd, I was 13. I didn't know I was CDing. I thought I was trick or treating. After Mom dressed me in my older sister Shasta's clothes. (She is 16 months older) We look like twins. After the front door closed, I wondered if someone would recognize me? I then told myself "You just moved in." I took a deep breath & said "here goes nothing" All thru out the time I have Cd'd, what helps me is take a deep breath & I say "Oh well!" I must have taken the deepest breath when I decided to tell Vikki, my GF. Luckily she is ok w/ it. Matter of fact, her work, a medical research facility TG/TS section is helping me transition. Just take one step at a time. there maybe some set backs. I started CDing when I was 13. I took a bit of time off. then started after I met Vikki. I was 23. Somehow I just knew I could trust her. It took awhile after I moved in w/ her, after I told her. Not sure if she knew. She had me cook & clean for my keep. (I was out of work) She then had me help her clean out her closet 'for spring cleaning' Women's intuition? not sure.
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Ofelia

This has been such a happy thread to read. So happy for you Michelle.

Clearly everything is going well for you, and I just thought that you may be able to take some benefit from some of my experiences too. I have found that showing respect and tolerance for others in your immediate circle is often reciprocated and that considering and engaging your housemates might well be the most effective way to reach a suitable and enjoyable solution for all of the involved parties. Be honest. Express your feelings and indicate how important your gender identity is to you (as it is to all cis people too). And then, hopefully, you'll be in the most awesome of places! :)
♥ Ofelia ♥

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.

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