Mental Health

[Devu]

Hey, y'all. I haven't been around in a while. I'm having some internal struggles and am wondering if anyone has advice or success stories to share? A while ago, I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and avoidant personality disorder. I took light of my diagnosis and really didn't think I suffered from either because I had only been seeing that therapist for a month or so? I didn't take action. He ended up moving, and I ended up moving, so I haven't seen a therapist since. I don't have health care where I'm at, at the moment. So unfortunately that's not an option either. To anyone who doesn't know what agoraphobia is: avoidance or fear of places or situations that may cause panic or embarrassment.

Anyway, my partner has been away for two weeks. He's getting top surgery. (yaaaay!) But I have been having so many problems resurfacing since he's left that I didn't think I would? I have gone out to grocery shopping, and a handful of other times I've left the house. To the DMV yesterday, but even then I had to ask a friend to come with me. I am starting to have so much anxiety about leaving to go anywhere. My general mindset is that something will go horribly wrong and I won't be able to leave an anxiety inducing situation, or just be left severely uncomfortable with no escape. When it gets to that point, I start practicing avoidant behavior. I can never force myself to just go out and get things done. This is really starting to frighten me and I don't know how to explain it to my loved ones without coming off as lazy or unwilling to work..? I fear not being taken seriously. I have no job experience and should have had a job months ago, but also have neglected to do that. These are reoccurring problems from the past that I've never pegged as agoraphobia.

As of right now, I just feel so much stress. I feel like half of myself. I'm just constantly struggling to let myself go outside and be productive with my life. I don't know anyone else who has agoraphobia or avoidant personality disorder. I can also tell you right now that it's more than deciding not to do something because I'm a little socially inept or something. It's stopping me from doing a lot of things. Maybe not severe enough to claim being housebound, but I certainly don't want it to ever go that far.

[spacerace]

What helps me is to try and realize that anybody I interact with is likely to forget me as soon as the moment of interaction is over. Especially at places like stores - clerks and the like see tons of people over and over again.

Additionally, there are people who embarrass themselves in stores without caring - they are rude or demanding, etc. People like this are the people that stand out. You probably are not one of those people, so what is the absolute worst that could happen really?

I understand where you are coming from - I have long stretches of time where I can't leave the house, or if I do, I come home and obsesses over every interaction trying to decide if I messed it up or not. This is counter-productive, and for me at least, it is rooted in a very self-centered perspective. No one cares about you as much as you do. They are too busy thinking about themselves.

As for getting a job and the like - no reason to rush it. Try to get out of the house by yourself once a day, and look into a type of therapy called CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, that is designed to help people deal with issues like this. There are books you can get, or websites around, that you can start to check out while you figure out how to get back into therapy eventually.

[CaptainAFAB]

Agoraphobia is rough. A very close friend has been struggling with it for a long time.

A mixture of exposure therapy and EMDR type treatments worked best for her, it seems. There can sometimes be a genetic component -- in her case certain family members all went through it but only until a certain age. I think knowing that was helpful as well.

Are you in the US? You may be able to get medicaid. It is easier to qualify than in the recent past. Mental health services, including counseling, should be covered.

Good luck. You got this.

[CaptainAFAB]

Also finding telecommute jobs helped her maintain a lot of independence while working out her healing process. She used craigslist and searched major metropolitan areas with the telecommute option checked. (There was still a lot of sorting, but whatareyagonnado it's craigslist.)

Moderators for online games and such often don't have to have too much experience, and can work from home. Medical billing jobs can be a good option as well. It's not glamorous, but it's temporary and it can help to keep focused on healing rather than worrying about money.

[Contravene]

I have an anxiety disorder and even though I know agoraphobia is more severe, maybe some of the things my therapists taught me to do may help you a little.

He said that social interactions for some people take practice and suggested I do practice by going out and interacting with people a little at a time. I started by going to the store and just shopping around by myself. I used to always need a friend or someone with me because I wasn't comfortable going alone. It was pretty uncomfortable at first but after a while it didn't bother me to go out myself. Then the next step when I was comfortable enough was to ask someone in the store if they sold some product I needed or where it was. Even if I already knew the answer it would just be a short, casual interaction to get comfortable with approaching people.

Those little exercises made a huge difference for me. I would say those combined with medication have all but eliminated my social anxiety so maybe they can help you at least get more comfortable going out sometimes.