Come out to Parents

Laura_7 · July 21, 2015, 05:15:04 PM

Well its up to you what you say or show since you know them best...
the NHS brochure explicitly states for trans people, their families and healthcare staff...
and the unicorn dads website is specifically for parents...

one strategy could be to explain your feelings, show some materials and tell them you want to see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...

oh and here is another resource that might help...
hawaii.edu/hivandaids/Some_Considerations_in_Coming_Out_Trans_to_Your_Parents_and_Family.pdf

hugs

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 05:20:12 PM

That is probably a good idea but I think if i am going to tell them the truth then they will need to hear the whole truth. Not to mention my sister got in legal trouble last year and we have not monetarily gotten back from all the court costs and lawyer fees.

Laura_7 · July 21, 2015, 05:25:27 PM

Quote from: Murplethepurple on July 21, 2015, 05:20:12 PM
That is probably a good idea but I think if i am going to tell them the truth then they will need to hear the whole truth. Not to mention my sister got in legal trouble last year and we have not monetarily gotten back from all the court costs and lawyer fees.

Well you might ask at plannedparenthood or a lgbt center for some counseling...

some gender therapists offer sliding scales, and there are even online therapists...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=187135.0

and if its connected with depression or emotional issues it might be covered...

hugs

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 07:34:57 PM

I would ask at a LGBT center but there are none that I can find that I can get to myself or any that anybody could take me to. There arnt even any that my parents could drive me too. It wasn't connected with depression or emotional issues. She just wanted to follow the popular kids and ended up getting arrested for it.

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 09:06:58 PM

I have 25 minutes before I have to tell my mom that I am transsexual. If you have any last minute tips for me please post them soon. Thank you all for your great support and I hope all goes well and she agrees to support me.

stephaniec · July 21, 2015, 09:18:13 PM

is there any way you can get to a therapist or counselor of some sort to support you through this. A school psychologist or counselor. Even asking your parents if they were willing to let you see a private psychologist to help you. If you could you'd have an independent knowledgeable person on your side.

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 09:20:35 PM

I wish I could talk to my school counselor but it is summer and I still have a couple of months before school starts. I was planning on telling my two best friends before telling my parents but they were out of town and they have parents who moniter all of their electronic doings.

Dena · July 21, 2015, 09:22:07 PM

Relax and don't lie. It's going to be hard on you but look them in the eye and be proud.

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 09:23:16 PM

Thank you for those tips Dena. I will put them to good use.

stephaniec · July 21, 2015, 09:31:34 PM

Well, we're here for you. Let us know what happens and maybe we can give you more ideas.

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 09:34:15 PM

Going to talk to my mom now. Will let you all know probably tommorrow but maybe tonight if I can't sleep which is quite common for me especially when stressed or scared.

chris+- · July 21, 2015, 10:31:21 PM

good luck hope everything goes ok

Murplethepurple · July 22, 2015, 09:52:45 AM

It went better than I expected. My mom said she had to think about it for a little while but until she comes to a full conclusion of what she heard I am still the same person to her. Makes me feel a little better. Thanks you all for your wonderful tips and suggestions. I will alert you what her desicion is once she makes one and tells me.

Dena · July 22, 2015, 10:06:12 AM

You were brave and handled it well. Make sure your mother is aware that you can answer any questions she might have and if you don't know the answer, we are here as a resource you can draw on. Sad thing about this is the children have to become adults in order to deal with their problem. You have just shown that you are worthy of the title of adult in your handling of this problem. We expect to see you more around here as you deal with the many problems you will have in the future so don't forget to write often. Good luck.

Murplethepurple · July 22, 2015, 10:09:58 AM

Thank you Dena

Laura_7 · July 22, 2015, 11:48:53 AM

Congratulations and well done

If you have any questions just ask.

Keep to a mental picture of a good outcome... your parents being supportive

*hugs*

Murplethepurple · July 22, 2015, 11:52:35 AM

Thank you so much Laura_7.

Murplethepurple · July 22, 2015, 04:11:38 PM

Are there any good sources for my mom to look at on how to make life for a transgender youth easier or something like that. really just anything that can help her I would appreciate. I would like to give her some things so she can better educate herself as to what I am going through.

Murplethepurple · July 22, 2015, 06:20:02 PM

Is it normal for parents to treat their kids like they are different after they learn that their child is transgender? I feel like my mom is treating me differently and acting differently around me. Any tips?

chris+- · July 22, 2015, 07:25:31 PM

she just found out. she is your mother and loves you no matter what. give her a little time

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Come out to Parents

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