Come out to Parents

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 02:59:09 PM

I am a 15 y/o M/F transsexual and I think my parents have found out about it. I wanted to tell my two best friends first because I know they would accept me and treat me the way I would like to be treated. My parents found my stash of bras and are now questioning me because they want to know why I had a stash of bras hidden. What is the best way to tell my parents that I am transsexual and that I want to be a girl without completely freaking them out? Please answer quickly because I think tonight or tomorrow night they expect an answer from me. If you need more information to help me please feel free to ask.

Laura_7 · July 21, 2015, 03:04:10 PM

Here are a few resources that might help:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192499.msg1716659.html#msg1716659

Just ask if you have further questions...

hugs

beastinfection · July 21, 2015, 03:05:41 PM

you know your situation better than me, but i feel like if you don't come clean now you'll regret it later in life. i've seen that a lot. don't feel like you have to though; take things at the pace you feel comfortable with. your parents might be confused at first but that's okay, just try to see things from their point of view and don't get mad at each other. best of luck

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 03:15:24 PM

Thank you Laura_7 I am about to read what you linked right now and I will let you know if it really did help me.

Beastinfection I do and I think my parents will be accepting and let me go to therapists but I was hoping I could have some nice people, not that you all are not nice all of you are amazing, I just wanted some of the people I can talk to everyday to be able and support me. I will try to do everything you suggested.

beastinfection · July 21, 2015, 03:18:17 PM

Quote from: Murplethepurple on July 21, 2015, 03:15:24 PM
Beastinfection I do and I think my parents will be accepting and let me go to therapists but I was hoping I could have some nice people, not that you all are not nice all of you are amazing, I just wanted some of the people I can talk to everyday to be able and support me. I will try to do everything you suggested.

why can't your parents be those people? i understand it's daunting but from what you've said they sound understanding and they'll be able to support you

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 03:22:41 PM

I have had some prior argument with my parents on how I feel I should be able to live how I want and more often than not they want to teach me to live a certain way so society does not make fun of me. I have ADD and I have an immature brain due to bullying that took place when I went to a certain school.

beastinfection · July 21, 2015, 03:28:49 PM

i understand - well intentioned but poorly understood help :/ take things at your own speed and if you dont feel comfortable telling them then don't, but if you decide to try to also understand what they're feeling and that it would probably a bit of a bombshell. they obviously have your safety in mind so i'm sure they'll try to understand how you feel

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 03:33:17 PM

Thank you for all of your help and well intentioned help. It is difficult to relate through forum posts how parents and family members are.

beastinfection · July 21, 2015, 03:43:06 PM

you know your situation best but best of luck with whatever you decide

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 03:45:06 PM

Laura_7 your link was very helpful in figuring out what I am going to do.

Beastinfection thank you again for all of your help and understanding of my situation.

Laura_7 · July 21, 2015, 04:11:33 PM

Quote from: Murplethepurple on July 21, 2015, 03:45:06 PM
Laura_7 your link was very helpful in figuring out what I am going to do.

Beastinfection thank you again for all of your help and understanding of my situation.

I'm glad it helped.

By the way there is also a chat... if you want to communicate more with people...
you can even use your own chat program, the ports etc. are written on the top, to the right...

and after 15 postings you can exchange private messages...

hugs

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 04:42:33 PM

Thank you all for your help and i feel like I am repeating myself for the millionth time. My mom just told me that I am going ot have to explain myself tonight and if I don't I am going to be taken out of the will. Wish me luck when I tell her.

Dena · July 21, 2015, 04:46:45 PM

I spotted this thread a little late. We do welcome others in your life like your parents so if you think it would help for them to talk directly with us, that is an option. In the end it is your decision.

beastinfection · July 21, 2015, 04:48:30 PM

threatening exclusion from the will seems rather extreme over this? :/

Dena · July 21, 2015, 04:51:16 PM

Quote from: beastinfection on July 21, 2015, 04:48:30 PM
threatening exclusion from the will seems rather extreme over this? :/

Sometimes it's just a tool to get somebody to conform and sometimes it's real. Not all people are understanding.

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 04:52:05 PM

My parents have found a lot of feminine stuff that i have stashed and hidden over the past few years and are a little annoyed with why they keep finding things. I think since this is female undergarments they need an answer and quick. I don't think they would really exclude me from the will but they would definetly punish me for lying.

beastinfection · July 21, 2015, 05:03:25 PM

i was hoping it was just a bluff to coax you into answering.

after coming to this site and reading very real situations where people are disowned and ostracized has kind of made me think how surreal and absurd it is that people even need to worry about that - especially with the people who gave birth to you and/or raised you? i'm just being naive but it's sad that parents won't accept their own children. your parents don't seem like the type to do this; i'm just thinking out loud

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 05:08:09 PM

They are very accepting but they are also quite slow in understanding LGBT individuals because they were raised in a time when it was not the media's first concern. They did not even know what LGBT meant until I became friends with a guy who was gay and had two gay fathers. And they still do not quite understand how people could like the same gender as themselves. I just want to start living as myself and I do not know if telling them the truth will speed that up or slow it down

Dena · July 21, 2015, 05:10:48 PM

Actually I suspect there isn't a will or if there is, there isn't much money involved. Small amounts of money are moved with a Will. People who have large amounts of money use Trust and other far more complex devices to keep the money from the IRS and to ensure their desires are carried out. As little money as I have, we are talking about a Trust for me because a Will can cause some real problems if things play out a certain way.

Murplethepurple · July 21, 2015, 05:11:50 PM

They just said they would. I don't even know if we have one.

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Come out to Parents