Come out to Parents

[Dena]

As I said, for the most part, altering your ID isn't that important. It is possible that medical insurance through your parents or school may pay most if not all of the cost of the blockers. Don't get panicky yet because there are a number of options to explore first. Do consider ways you can bump up your income because it will get expensive at some point and the more savings you have the better.

I am wondering where the others are because there are people who know how to work the modern system better than me and at some point they should be jumping on this thread with help. The mods haven't even flashed you with the rules yet and normally they are pretty good at that.

[Turtlesrule]

I don't know if insurance will pay it or not. But thats not as big a problem to me. I have saved since I was 13 from my programming and have enough money to at least have one year of puberty blockers but that is if they are 700 dollars. Which that drains all my college funds. I hope to get a scholarship but I don't think I will.

[Dena]

One problem at a time. College is more important at this time so keep your money in the college fund. We will look at other ways to fund your gender care such as what the school offers and you parents health insurance. Before we do any of this, we need to go back to an old subject. Are you ready to come out yet? If you aren't, none of this is going to happen. Take your time as I want an honest answer. I don't know will work if you aren't sure yet.

[Turtlesrule]

I am ready to come out just am procrastinating doing it like i have done the past year and a half. So bad at doing something I need to do.

[Dena]

You are a programer and and know how to think logically. Make a plan/list and estimate how long you want to spend on each effort. the end game will be the day you tell your parents. If you don't want to do it, that's your option as well but if you put a plan in place, you need to stick with it.

[Turtlesrule]

That is actually a very good idea. Thank you. I never thought about it that way. As soon as I am done writing this I am going to go and start writing a plan.

[Turtlesrule]

Are there any good letter formats for coming out trans to my parents? Or is it better to just spend the time and write the complete letter myself. Just afraid if I write the entire letter that I will procrastinate and not actually write it. Something that I can avoid if I have a format where I can fill in the blanks with personal information.

[Dena]

I still am learning my way around the form but there are three places you should review in order to build you arguments and for helpful information. Feel free to alter any of the letters to meet your needs.

General information on transsexualism
https://www.susans.org/links/Help_&_How-to/

Where you will find letters and other information
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Main_Page

My humble attempt at a letter for hard core cases (use with care)
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html

[Turtlesrule]

Thank you for the links. I found that the most helpful one was the letter you wrote. I am going to copy and paste it into a Word document and make some very minor changes that will make my parents feel less scared when they read it. Thanks you again. I guess next time we will chat is when I am either crying my face out or I am so happy that I am smiling my face off (after i come out and depends on their reaction).

[Dena]

You don't need to use my letter to make me feel good. I wrote that letter because I needed something like that for another child I was dealing with and I didn't have what I needed at the time however if you can customize it to fit your needs, that is fine with me. The important thing was I wanted some bullet point is the letter that really defined the issue.
I hope in looking at the other links you were able to find additional information to build up argument when you talk afterwards.
We are willing to work with your parents if they will accept our help so keep that in mind.
Good luck and keep us posted.

[stephaniec]

I'd jump in , but I can't add anything. Your doing a great job.

[Turtlesrule]

Lol. Actually maybe one of you can answer a question. I have decided to write my own coming out letter and put Dena's behind it so that way when my parents read it they can instantly get any confusion taken away. WHen I write my letter should I end it with the name I would like to be called or the name they call me?

[Dena]

That is up to you but you might consider putting both names down for now. It would be a way of connecting the old with the new.
I am going to be in and out today so my response to your post may be slow.

[Turtlesrule]

Ok. Thant's alright. I have been working on a school project the whole of this week and spent most of yesterday on this forum. Thank you for the tip.

[Turtlesrule]

I think I am asking too many questions but should I hand the letters directly to my mom (she is going to help me tell my dad, sister, nanny, and grandfather) or should I put them by her sink?

[Dena]

You only get one shot at this so it's best to do it right the first time. Advice is freely dispensed.
The best way as you are using a letter would be to face your mom and say "I have something for you to read" and then stand or sit a few feet away from her but facing her until she has finished. It will be hard on your nerves but it will tell you mom you believe in this and you have the courage to face what will be hard times ahead. Body language is strange but it communicates almost as much as words.

[Turtlesrule]

I terrible body language. I will try my best with the tips and help you have given me. Thanks.

[Dena]

You don't need to be good at body language, in this case you need to avoid running off like a child and instead face your problem (your mother) like an adult. You only need to sit or stand and wait for your mother to finish. After that, she will lead the conversation and you take it from there. I don't know your mother so I don't have a clue what she will say but that's the best I can do.

[Turtlesrule]

Thank you for the help you have given me. I will let you know what happens.

[Murplethepurple]

Hi Turtlesrule. Everyone the reason I have been away for a while because my parents grounded me for a while and I had no access to electronics eccept my radio. My parents accept me now and have even agreed to help me start socially transitioning! So happy. Good luck Turtlesrule. Hope all goes well for you!