have you ever felt jealousy towards another trans person

[beastinfection]

i feel very bad admitting that i do often, mainly because it just feels like a wrong thing but i'm not really sure what to make of it. my self esteem is usually damaged when i see someone who is very passable and then i feel guilty for having my self image hurt just because someone else looks good. they're just very lucky and i get sad that im not as much so lol

[Marlee]

Envy, I'd say. I see such beauty and courage here. But I don't feel bad. It actually inspires me. I don't know where your self image arises from. but perhaps you can try to focus on other things about yourself that make you feel good about yourself.

[HoneyStrums]

Please dont feel bad about this,

I will also ADMIT that I too feel like this at times. exspecially with pre puberty transitioners. But more for just having hawt bodies and those realy curvy hips.

I read somthing somewhere, that the girl all the guys want, is the girl all the girls want to be. Ok i know its not exacly accurat but..

envy, is somthing that everybody has in various degrees, over variouse things, people get jelouse of other people all the time.

Dont feel bad about somthing that every human exsperiences, you ARE HUMAN after all.

[Jill F]

No.  They got dealt a crappy hand in life just like I did.   There are transwomen out there that are richer, prettier, better proportioned, thinner, post-op, have thicker hair and have perfect breasts, but I wouldn't trade my hand for any of theirs because I have a lot going for me that I would never give up.

[kittenpower]

Of course, have you seen Carmen Carrera?

[Nicole]

Pretty much any one of the young teens who are out in this day & age.

When I was their age transgendered people were freaks for shows like Jerry Springer, these days its just amazing how great it is for them.

yes theres still hate, but a lot more love than hate

[suzifrommd]

I feel a lot of other jealousy to other trans people. Usually in these cases:
* When they have an avatar pic that's more pretty than I could even dream to be.
* When they live in stealth like any other woman and have the female life I wish I could have.
* When they have the guts to get FFS (which I don't) so that every square inch of their bodies look exactly like it was born that way.
* When they have the post-op O's that I can't seem to achieve.
* When they are petite, cute, and have impeccable fashion sense.
* When they fall in love and have long term relationships.
* When they have close friends and an active social life.

However, I know how jealousy can eat someone up. There will always be someone who has what I don't. Better to look at the good things about my life (financially comfortable, love my kids, live in a supportive community, great job, opportunity to give back to wonderful places like Susan's).

[Serenation]

I havn't met many trans sisters in real life, one who I did meet for coffee and I really enjoyed meeting her, I thought she was so pretty. Then she de friended me.

I asked our mutual stunning cis female friend what happened and she said just being around me makes her feel crap because I progressed further than her. I felt it very unfair that she will happily hang around the stunning cis girl but not me.

So in that regard I don't understand it, if we are going wish we were born someone else we might as well wish we were cis.

[Ms Grace]

The only trans woman I'm jealous of is Stevie Clayton, because she got to have a hawt sex scene with Freema Agyeman (Martha Jones from Doctor Who) in Sense8. So, soooooo jealous.







(I love you, Freema!!!)

[Serenation]

The only trans woman I'm jealous of is Stevie Clayton, because she got to have a hawt sex scene with Freema Agyeman (Martha Jones from Doctor Who) in Sense8. So, soooooo jealous.







(I love you, Freema!!!)

jamie clayton? (looking on imdb) played the trans woman on sense8 (I really liked that show, seemed a really good portrayal to me, understanding though with the wachowski's making it)

[Ms Grace]

oh yeah, her... 

[iKate]

Pretty much any one of the young teens who are out in this day & age.

Pretty much this, but on the other hand they can't have biological kids. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

[Devu]

Yes, often times I find myself envious/jealous. Especially if they're post-op, or people who are visibly comfortable with their appearance. I think it comes from a lot of internalizing and what it means to be beautiful to "pass."

[Jameson]

Pretty much any one of the young teens who are out in this day & age.

When I was their age transgendered people were freaks for shows like Jerry Springer, these days its just amazing how great it is for them.

yes theres still hate, but a lot more love than hate

This is something I struggle with quite a bit. I'm finally at a point in life where soon I can take concrete steps but I'm old and feel like it's too late in many respects. It's too late to enjoy so many of the things I wanted to do, I will never have the life I wanted for decades. For me the bright promise was Renee Richards that gave me a name for what I was and the hope that "this can be fixed". Watching gay rights click right along and and getting some of the side benefits, I've always been pegged as a butch dyke, but still knowing I was a fraud even there because I'm really a straight man inside so I've not been part of that community.

So yeah, a lot of envy that all these young guys get the life I've wanted so badly. It's ridiculous and I want the best for them, but sometimes it's hard to watch. Always from the sidelines...

I do know where I'm lucky, I live in the US, white, financially okay, and I do have a chance to be myself at least in part for a while. Still have to wrestle the green-eyed monster though.

[Nicodeme]

I've had to take time off from speaking to transmasculine friends who I've seen figure themselves out when I was trying and failing to be full-time while pre-everything, and who transitioned right past me while I was repressing myself. I just couldn't handle it.

I've gotten over it, but there's always that moment where I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

[JoanneB]

For me it's been a constant battle with envy. For 6 years now I've seen newbies come to our TG Support group meeting and within months usually saying "F' It  Full time for me" while I still try to hold my two words together

[Swayallday]

The majority really.

But I guess that's the iceberg effect, I only see the positive sides, how good they look, not all the struggle and pain behind it.

[Carrie Liz]

If you asked a cis woman if she's ever been jealous of another woman's appearance, they would all laugh at you and say "you mean there's women who haven't?"

It's not particularly healthy, but in terms of being normal, unquestionably so.

[awilliams1701]

Absolutely. Most of it is about people I haven't actually met, like Princess Jules. She's so beautiful and has an amazing body. While I've lost a lot of weight, I still have a belly and my thighs have ugly stretch marks.

There is one I've known in person for about a year and I found out that she was super emotional during months 3 and 4 and she went through 2 boxes of tissues crying so much. I told her I was jealous of her experience because its still hard for me to cry, although not as much. I told her during that same time period I was super giddy and almost too happy. She told me she was jealous of me over that. So I guess we're jealous of each other.

[Andre87]

but on the other hand they can't have biological kids. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Agree.That's why I postponed my transition.