non-binary folks (born assigned female) that have had top surgery

[the_royal_we]

Hello all. I've been searching the forums and this is my first time posting.

I was born assigned female but have always wanted to be masculine and often wished I was a boy when I was young. I occupy a definite "in between" space and often get sir'd. I have no desire to transition to fully male, but I work on cutting a more masculine figure and top surgery is highest on my list. I'm curious of other folks who are andro or in between and have had surgery still feel welcome in women's spaces?
I value my experience as a woman and I don't want to pass as strictly male- i have no desire to take hormones. I fear losing any sense of safety in places like the bathroom and the gym.
Also, if anyone in the Sacramento area has a surgeon to recommend, that would be so helpful. I don't know if I can afford the big name SF docs.

I hope everyone is well!!

[Mariah]

Hi the Royal We, welcome to Susan's. Your among friends now. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah


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[DriftingCrow]

I haven't had top surgery, but like you have considered getting it (FAAB non-binary or something, not exactly sure what umbrella I am under). I don't think you'd have a problem overall in woman-designated spaces. I do know butch lesbians who bind, who have had top surgery, women with breast so small they don't even bother wearing a bra, and cis-women who've had to get mastectomies and didn't get implants in afterwards. Unless you're going around with your shirt off all the time, most likely people won't even notice.

You might cause confusion if you go to a gym and workout with your shirt off. In some places, it might even be considered indecent exposure if you're still legally female on your paperwork.

[the_royal_we]

Hi Mariah2014- thank you for all the info.

DriftingCrow- good question about going topless in public. i have no intention of doing that and can't imagine i'd be comfortable. maybe that would change, and i totally recognized there are consequences to that and not everyone out in the public can accept or wrap their minds around in between-ness.
I'm just curious if other folks found that having top surgery was a tipping point and that they didn't belong in women's spaces.

[CaptainAFAB]

I love Sacramento! The Verge Art Center is a fine place, and the river trail is probably the nicest place to ride a bike in the whole country.

My experience is that women's spaces tend to be inclusive of trans folks. That said, I have typically sought out women's spaces that prioritized intersectionality when I was presenting as a woman, and that was pretty easy to find in Oakland, which is where I was.

I would say that seeking out trans-inclusive spaces is always a good idea, regardless of your presentation. Which I'm sure you know. Do you ever make it to Davis? I found and ran with a diverse, inclusive, super awesome bunch of women and queers and transfolk and all when I lived there. Davis is Burning was, at the time, a great way to meet people. Don't know about now.

[chance]

I am in a similar boat to you, royal. I've also been considering top surgery so thanks for posting this.


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[genderirrelevant]

I've just booked my top surgery for August 7th. I'm agender and I doubt I'll run into problems in female spaces afterwards since I'm not taking hormones and not trying to pass as male. Currently my hair is long so people will take that as an obvious cue. I'm considering cutting my hair off to donate and to simplify life while I have T-Rex arms. It'll be interesting to see how much that changes people's perceptions.

[makipu]

Hi, I am non binary in terms of visual gender (meaning I could be taken as a male or female depending on the person) and I had top surgery. I am not sure if I am 'welcomed' in a womens place because I am the one who is feeling uncomfortable and I am so consumed by my discomfort to even know what women feel about my presence. Ultimately people need to get over the fact that not everyone has to look strictly masculine or feminine.

Do you plan on keeping your documentations as F? If so, then you have proof to show if any problems arise.

[chance]

Has anyone experienced being treated differently by friends and/or family after top surgery only (no T, etc)? I'm not sure if I'm perceived as I see myself, which is non-binary. But my breasts are the one thing that really bother me (dysphorically) need to go.


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