Petrified to come out at work

[Laurie K]

I started my transition 2.0 about 6 months ago,and have been on hormones just over 4 months  Dressing as a woman and doing female things, are a must when I m not at work . But because my occupation is in  a male dominated machismo oil patch job I m terrified to come out.   
   I have left some  hints that I am changing whether any one has caught on Im not really sure, but do believe that with my hair length , ear piercings, and the chance of seeing my pink underwear when crouched over might be a bit of a give away. 

   Some remarks bout Caitlyn and disparaging coments about trans people in general have been directed my way, but I respond like I could care less, it is not my business.  My Coworkers often tell me when and where the have seen a "->-bleeped-<-" and look for my response. I am very non nonchalant in my actions and words.

The  fear: being fired, I am not a role model employee and have some blemishes on my record so that makes it easy for them. Having to put up with trans phobic slurs from  men that I work with. Saying that Im not expecting my co workers to have a party with cake and balloons when I come out to them either.

Some solutions: Wait for body changes to become more prominent, in the mean time look for other work in a more trans friendly enviro. (prolly a big pay cut). Wait for body changes to become more prominent, have name  and gender marker changes on drivers license,then come out. Look for work if need.  Continue as male at work with breast growth and hope for the best. Slash my wrists and bleed out.

  I really need to make the jump bit i need more time to put up a safety net so i dont hit the rocks at the bottom. I have worked hard to have  a home a family. So far most of my family  is ok with me , but losing my humble abode would be shattering cause I could make my payments. Does a trans person find happiness  living in a cardboard box under a bridge.?

  Just some thoughts, any suggestions are greatly appreciated. late for lectro appointment.

[Mariah]

If it was me, I would start looking elsewhere for a job. This way you can hopefully find a job that would be a good fit to transition at. At the same time, I would try to keep your record from here in as spotless as possible to ensure a better recommendation. It buys you time at least to figure things out while still being employed. I'm not sue I would come out at that work place unless you get a point where your left with no choice and have to role with the dice. Good luck and Hugs. Please keep us posted.
Mariah

[Tessa James]

Hi Brie,

I consider you a hero for even considering "coming out" in a male dominated work place.  When I was much younger I worked on the railroads and factories where men ruled and I saw the hand writing on the wall.  Stereotypes are not valid for all but, the guys I worked with were mostly awful to each other. 

That helped to keep me in college and pursuing a career as a nurse and nurse anesthetist.  Working in a predominately female populated world was much better but machismo is still part of our male dominated hierarchy even in medicine and I was also reluctant to accept myself as transgender back then.  Most people assumed I was queer and that is part of the truth too;-)

I think you are one smart girl to be considering where the grass may be greener and diversity is respected.  Please forget about hurting yourself, there is sadly enough pain already going around.  I was at a trans support meeting last night and one of our members noted how much she had lost but recognized she would still never go back in the closet.  Freedom is precious but yes it is good to have a roof and a meal now and then.  You seem to be figuring things out pretty well.

[awilliams1701]

I would look for another job personally. In the meantime consider talking to HR if they have one.

[Laurie K]

Not saying that it cant be done but reinventing my career is a bit of a stretch north of age 55.
MY employer is a corporation with an HR department that, could work in my favour, they are not necessarily there for me but they are there for the company.  Living in Canada, we have more liberal trans laws than some of the U.S. and other countries. But you can still be fired for being a safety hazard for not tying your shoes.(an exuse they might use).  I have some time to think of a plan as I wait for my body to feminize. I may paint myself in a corner but thinking and therapy is where i put my focus at this point.  Thanx for all your input