Name questions/ suggestions

[phoenix633]

I am finding it hard to pick a name that I feel comfortable with and want to be called. Just wondering what people's thoughts are on picking a gender neutral name vs. male name. I have been using male names so far but sometimes I just feel silly because I don't feel like I look male yet. This may all be in my head because people usually read me as male in public but it just feels kinda silly with my family and friends because I know they are used to seeing me as female and it is an adjustment for them. I know what they think of it doesn't matter and they are all fine with calling me a male name but I just feel I might be more comfortable with a neutral name during this period. But then when I give people a neutral name I don't know how they are reading me and that adds and extra bit of confusion or weirdness to meeting new people cause I can sense that they are unsure but don't want to ask. But I kinda like confusing people too. Overall I like the idea of a neutral name or a name that doesn't sound too masculine. I just think it would fit me because although I definitely identify as male, I don't see myself as over masculine. I've been through all the name books and sites but I am looking for a name that isn't too weird but also not very common and either neutral or not overly masculine but really just open to any suggestions. A few minutes ago I remembered the name Rafe. I kinda like that or did in the past when I heard it. I just saw someone post on another name thread on here the name Rafi and I like the sound of that but it is from another culture than mine and I've heard it's not good to take names from other cultures. Anyways any comments on experiences with neutral vs male names and suggestions of any random names would be helpful. How long did it take you to get used to your new name?

[AeroZeppelin92]

I don't really have any suggestions on nuetral names, it's hard to say what's nuetral anymore anyways. I've known a guy named Courtney and a girl named Tanner.... Both names I would usually associate with the opposite sex.

I did struggle with feeling awkward a bit in the beginning, like the first month on T. Introducing myself to people and knowing they were slightly confused when this person with a female voice was calling themselves "Konnor". It took me probably about 3-4 months to get used to my name completely.

Don't worry about that "taking names from other cultures" nonsense either. If you like a name and you feel it fits you, go for it. It's your choice, not anyone else's. You're not using the name for anything negative, so do as you please.

[inmotion]

Firstly I think go with what makes you feel comfortable, from how I read your post it looks as thought despite all the worries about going with a more neutral name or not crazy masculine you still came back to it as something you like - so if it were me I'd go with that gut instinct. Have you looked into different spellings of male names? There's one I like which is: Bari - it's said the same as Barry but I think the way it's written softens it a little bit. So it might be worth having a look into those. Alternatively you could find a name that has gender neutral nicknames/shortenings which could make it easier pre-t vs on t (if that's the route you choose to go down).

Also do you like your birth name? Does it have a male equivalent and potentially gender neutral nicknames? This was the case for me (not fully out yet so don't want to write it in here), my nicknames for both my birth name and male name are the same which helps as I'm already used to it as are the people around me.

Finally don't worry about your thoughts that people might think you have a high voice but a guy's name - if that's what you want then it doesn't matter about everyone else, it's your life and your future and I've been told this time and time again "Most people just don't care" and I think that is important to remember and it's with everything from you've got a stain on your shirt you think is really obvious, to a spot on your face, to a male name with a high voice - people are usually too preoccupied to either notice or care.

[mycelestialarchangel]

Do you have a name that you find suits you?  I chose a name that I really liked and planned on naming a child one day (I'm such a selfish future parent ).  maybe do a baby name search and make a list of the names you like,  then practice them in front of a mirror and choose which one suits best that's my advice anyway

YouTube channel:  TheTransPansAussie

Snapchat: @transpansaussie

[maxman]

Some feel they want to stick with their initials, some pick a popular name from the year they were born so it "suits" their age (something trendy now may not have been trendy when you were born, for example), some stick with something close to their birth name, and some run as far as possible. It's really up to you and whatever makes you comfortable.

My personal name came from something that had been in my head all along... Max was almost like an imaginary friend or character that had always lived in my brain. Honestly I never even really thought about what I wanted to be called, it just felt like my name always had been Max somewhere inside me, and now it was coming out. i also started going by Max prior to coming out entirely as ftm. that's my personal story, good luck on your name hunt!

[Clever]

I picked a name that is masculine but also has a gender-neutral nickname: James/Jamey

Only now that my voice has begun to drop and my features are becoming more masculine do I feel comfortable asking people to call me my new name.

I decided against a very unique-sounding name and just went with one that was both a family name and one that was popular in my birth year.

[jayrobbin]

When I legally change my name, I'm taking my grandfather's name for my first name and my mother's maiden name for a middle (it sounds like a given name rather than a surname anyway.) It was easy for me because I want to honor my family and I have a strong bond with them. Not everyone has that connection to family to want to name themselves after though, so it's a really personal choice. If you're tight with your dad, you could be a junior. I know it crossed my mind. Is there anyone you look up to or see as a good masculine role model? Maybe even a character from a book or show? I wish you the best in your name discovery!

[Petti]

Lee, Sydney, Alex, Sam, and Jean are decent andro names imo.

[Muscle Matt]

I've known both a male and a female Riley and I like the name for both

I know someone who went with a gender-neutral name. He would complain that people would misgender him cuz his voice is feminine. So that's something you'd definitely have to adjust to.

I've just started having some people call me by my new name. It's definitely different. I know I don't look or sound masculine enough to pull off a male name yet, and it always kinda bugs me. A name won't always feel comfortable right away, but who knows, maybe over time, it'll feel right.

It took me forever to decide on a name. I kept thinking about less common names, or just names that I thought were sexy, but none of them felt "right". Eventually, I figured going from "Nat" to "Matt" would be pretty easy for everyone to get used to. Since it's so close to my birth name, I've responded to it from the start.

It's definitely a relief when you finally find a name that feels good for you. But don't worry if it takes you a while to find the right name. It's an important decision to make.

Good luck!

[Kuritzk]

I'm out to everyone, but still don't have a name. It's so unbelievably annoying. I ended up just asking everyone to call me by the masculinised version of my first name (my actual name I went by before transitioning was my middle name, but there's no masculine equivalent for it). I don't feel like this name fits me that much, though.

My problem is, I really want a feminine-sounding guy's name, because I'm used to being a guy with a girl's name, y'know? I actually really like the idea of having a feminine name, because it kind of goes against everything else with my image, and I think that's cool. But it's so darn hard to find a name.

[phoenix633]

Thanks. I decided on Nick. I decided I just wanted a common name so I got a bunch from the year I was born and asked my sister, brother and parents and everyone picked Nick without talking to each other. My parents really liked it too. So I went with it. I also like it but I didn't really want to name myself and I wanted a name my parents liked and felt comfortable calling me because they've been so supportive. They kept saying they'd like any name I picked but some I could tell was harder for them to call me and Nick has seemed easy for people to switch to.  Sometimes I question it but unfortunately my mom has ended up in the hospital in the last 2 weeks and can't talk for at least a month because she needs to be on a ventilator. So I just feel like it's set in stone. It was important that she really genuinely liked the name I choose and this was the one she liked the most. She kept hugging me and saying she loved the name and for a little while there I wasn't even sure if she'd make it so I just decided I'm never changing it because I know she liked this one. I'm thinking when I look more masculine I will ask people to call me Nicky because it's a little more neutral and I always liked having a name with a y sound on the end. At the end of the day, I don't care too much about my name. It's the person that makes the name not the name that makes the person. I really do like Nick. It just feels right and feels good to have a name. Sometimes I feel like I'd like an uncommon name but really I'm weird enough, I don't need anything else to make me stand out lol. I always question things and I could pick a new name constantly but I just want to stick with this one and start moving forward with who I am now.