How do you pull yourself up by your bootstraps? I am so low right now that I feel I cannot climb out of this hole, so to those of you who have done it, how?
How do I get hormones when I have no money, but how do I get money when I have no hormones? My state is such that I find it extremely hard to function because my dysphoria (or whatever it is in my case) is dragging me down and bringing me to levels of depression where I can hardly remember to do mundane things. This is destroying my family and they yell at me and it makes me very sad because I am making it hard on them. Part of me wants to be dead so bad. It's like mentally I wanna be dead, cast into black nothingness away from all this hell, but physically I fear it and I fear what it'll do to those around me. On some level as much as I want to rid this world of me, I just cannot push the knife into myself. I just dont know what to do, ladies. I just dont know.
All I simply want is my hormones so I can begin to at least no be freaked out when I look in the mirror or when others look at me and so I can go so a simple thrift store and get some cheap clothes and begin to function, but no one hears me. I beg so much for hope but only hear the echo of my own voice.
Please Help Me. I am begging you. I am reduced to begging people on the internet, that's how desperate I am. Is there help for women in need.
I swear to god I am trying but I am beaten and it's hard to get up someone please hold my hand through this. I know in this place, this society that values taking the reins and kicking ass asking such a thing is almost a mortal sin, but I beg for help.
