A Big Step for me

[SimplyThea]

Today my best girlfriend and I went shopping and bought me my first women's outfit as well as underwear. This, however, wasn't the big step I took. I then went out to a party with the same girlfriend and I wore my outfit. I didn't "pass" at all and I knew it, but nobody said a thing unless it was to compliment the outfit which really helped me get to have a night out as myself without much fear of how people would react. Unfortunately I didn't have any shoes to go with my outfit, so the shoes I had to wear looked trashy, but beyond that there weren't a lot of snags in the night. Given the party I went to was a party among my friends so I knew everyone there knew I was trans so there wasn't too much to worry about since they all accept me for who I am. The only real awkward moment was when I had to walk back to my friends apartment because even though it was a short walk in a rural area late at night I was worried someone may see me and say something. I ended up kind of sneaking back to my friends place to avoid anyone that might be out, but beyond that it went very well for a first time going out in entirely women's clothes. I definitely need to build more confidence to be ready to go out dressed that way among the general public, but this felt like a good step for me to take. I also spent most of the day wearing a bra for the first time and it felt so right from the moment of putting it on and by the end of the day I almost completely forgot it was on since it just felt like something I usually wear. Anyway, I just wanted to share all that since it made me so happy.

Thea

[Ms Grace]

Always nice to hear an upbeat, happy story. Congrats.

[kittenpower]

It sounds like you had an awesome day.

[leacobb]

Thats great news im so happy for you, it is nice to hear a nice story like yours. I hope this is the first of many good times... good luck in all your future outgoings.. very proud xxx

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[SimplyThea]

It really was a fun time. The worst part of it was I had to say good-bye to that best girlfriend the next morning because that was the last I was going to see her before she moves to Chicago. Hopefully I'll see her again since I plan to move out there in a year's time, but that morning I cried a lot because she's such a big part of my support network. She was the first person I ever told I was trans and she's really been there for me. I know I can always text, call, or Skype her, but it won't be the same as being able to see her in person. It's just hard to say good-bye to the best friend I've ever had.

[mijo2053]

Good job stay strong

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[takotsubo]

Publicly dressing as your true gender even though you know you won't pass is a very brave thing to do. I hope I will be able to find that kind of courage myself.

Keep it up!

[SimplyThea]

Publicly dressing as your true gender even though you know you won't pass is a very brave thing to do. I hope I will be able to find that kind of courage myself.

Keep it up!

Thanks! The best way to start building that courage as I've found is to start small and dress in front of only a few people who you know are supportive of you first and then move to a larger group. Dressing as your true gender while you know you aren't "passable" is terrifying, but the more time goes on the more I realize I shouldn't worry as much about being "passable." I know I'll get there eventually with enough patience and hard work, but until then I want to take every opportunity where I feel comfortable to wear women's clothes as possible because not only will it help build my confidence while wearing them but I also just feel pretty when I wear them even when I don't "pass" and that feeling is great. Just take steps where you can and keep your head held high.

Hugs,
Thea

[Valwen]

Congrats on finally getting out there. its terrifing and especially that first time. I hope it gave you a bit of confidence. I Hope your lucky with everyone who you still need to tell.

i am rather sure that I rarely pass, especially my voice, and body, and well everything. Being rather crazy my first outing well aside from to a therapist was to a public event 50+ people only a handful knowing I was trans, but that hand full where very good support and everyone was cool. That event snowballed into me going full time a bit over a week later.

and yes there have been lots of issues, my cripplingly low self esteem first among them, but I would not change or back out of my decision for any reason now, it was the best thing i have done in a long time.

Serena.

[la_falda_de_moni]

Go girl! I wish I had your courage to go out like you


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[SimplyThea]

Go girl! I wish I had your courage to go out like you


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You can have that courage! It just takes time and patience, but I'm sure you'll get there. It took me months after coming out to take this step and it was still only at a party made up of friends where I knew I should be safe. And even with all that I wasn't entirely comfortable, but it felt good to be able to present as my true self as well. Just take what little steps you can to build your courage and confidence. I started by wearing a  silver Claddagh ring around friends and then in public because it was small and didn't attract much attention. I'm sure you'll find that courage one day. Hugs.

[la_falda_de_moni]

Well i usually dress at home and sometimes I go out also, but my goal is to go out dress all day 24/7


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[SimplyThea]

Well i usually dress at home and sometimes I go out also, but my goal is to go out dress all day 24/7


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Well you'll get there too. I'm not at that point either, but I'm working toward it and that's all you can do. A lot of it has to do with confidence and being comfortable with being who you are which can be hard, but I want to get to a point where I can go out dressed as my true self regardless of "passability" and feel comfortable and happy. I'm sure there will be people who say hurtful things, but I just have to remind myself that it doesn't matter what others think if I'm happy.

[la_falda_de_moni]

That's the spirit girl!


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[Ciara]

This made me smile. What a lovely story.
Thank you for sharing this. ☺️

[SimplyThea]

I just want to thank everyone who has been posting their love, support, and encouragement in response to my story. Last Sunday was the first day in my life where I truly felt like myself, and it reaffirmed everything I've always held inside about being a woman. Since coming out I have worried over and over about having to be able to "pass" as a woman before I could dress as myself in public, but I worry about that less and less now. I'm hoping to take steps and eventually simply live as a woman full time. It's great to know that I have this wonderful community to turn to with both my successes and failures. I know I have a lot yet to learn and a lot of habits to break before the world in general will accept me as a woman, but I know who I am inside and that's all that matters. Once again thanks for the words of encouragement.

Thea

[Tessa James]

You hear these words of encouragement because you earned them and we get to share vicariously in your success.  To truly feel like yourself for the first time is an emotional state I too have experienced and one of the reasons I feel confident about transitioning.

Yes, who you are on the side is all that matters.  Being our true selves means we are then able bring our best attributes to shine for loved ones and our careers.  Shine on!

[Sondra Marie]

Whooh! That sounds exhilarating! Good for you. It's funny what you said about feeling like you had just always worn a bra and you forgot you were even wearing it by the end of the day. I shaved my legs recently (for the first time ever!) and it feels like that's what they're supposed to look and feel like, like it's been that way forever, with the added benefit of feeling awesome! Stories like this always give me more confidence.

-Ondi

[SarahMarie1987]

Thea,

You are an amazing and brave woman! I think you need to give yourself a huge pat on the back dear.

Your best friend reminds me a lot of mine. She brought me my first set of cosmetics and she was the first person who I came out to as trans. Her reply was "Yes, that makes sense to me. I always felt that was who you were meant to be." And while, I am sorry that she is moving, I am glad you had the most amazing and wonderful support system in place for you.

- Sarah Marie

[SimplyThea]

Thea,

You are an amazing and brave woman! I think you need to give yourself a huge pat on the back dear.

Your best friend reminds me a lot of mine. She brought me my first set of cosmetics and she was the first person who I came out to as trans. Her reply was "Yes, that makes sense to me. I always felt that was who you were meant to be." And while, I am sorry that she is moving, I am glad you had the most amazing and wonderful support system in place for you.

- Sarah Marie

It's funny that you mention that your friend said it made sense when you came out to her because both of my best girlfriends had the same reaction when I came out to them. They both said: "Things make so much sense now!" When I asked them about it they couldn't really explain why, but they said I always just had a really feminine energy that they only ever felt around girls. I'm a little worried about my best friend moving to Chicago, but it shouldn't be too bad since I'm planning to move to Chicago as well in a year when I graduate from college and my best friend has even offered to let me move in with her if I can't find a roommate to come to Chicago with me. Thanks for the encouragement! I feel more confident everyday, and I'm hoping that once I can build up a women's wardrobe to begin living as a woman full time whether I pass or not because all that really matters is my happiness not what others say or think about me.