Do you actually like hanging out with men?

[regina]

I've drifted a lot from many of the straight male friends I had in high school, but I've made a tonne of gay male friends since starting uni. I definitely feel much more comfortable around men than women and crave that male-male bond. But I find it's much easier to find this with gay men. My best friend in the entire world is a gay man I went to high school with. He has been very supportive of my transition and we have such a close bond people often describe us as a married couple.

So guys, I'm curious... there seem to be a lot of FTMs here who prefer the company of gay men. Is this because they're cooler/less jerks (?) than straight men, because they're more understanding (more queer) of what you've gone through, because when you might have been identifying as a dyke (some of you) those are the male friends you hung out with and just kept them in your life or because you're now identifying as gay men as well? Just wondering.

ciao,
Gina M.

[Ron]

So guys, I'm curious... there seem to be a lot of FTMs here who prefer the company of gay men. Is this because they're cooler/less jerks (?) than straight men, because they're more understanding (more queer) of what you've gone through, because when you might have been identifying as a dyke (some of you) those are the male friends you hung out with and just kept them in your life or because you're now identifying as gay men as well? Just wondering.

ciao,
Gina M.

For me it's a little bit of all of them. I've chosen to stay with the queer community rather than leave it since starting my transition, and as such have a lot of gay male friends from the queer department at uni. They are (mostly) very understanding of my situation, often are interested and want to know things about it, and are just really decent guys who wouldn't dare say anything negative about it. Straight guys on the other hand, I find are a little harder to make friends with. The ones I had from school I've mostly kept up with, but I had a couple of weird reactions from them, and I haven't dared come out to any other straight guys I meet. When I was out as a lesbian I made friends with the guy I consider myself married to now. We both come out to each other on the same night and I think that's where the bond started. I then later came out as trans and he was really, really good about it so it's been really easy to hold onto that friendship. As for the 'are you identifying as a gay man now' question, I'm going through a process of re-questioning my sexuality. I have a feeling it's more about wanting to look and be like them than actually be with them, but who knows. For now I loosely identify as a heterosexual man with a lot of gay friends.