Wife is pregnant, I'm kind of terrified

[KatelynBG]

My wife is pregnant with our 2nd child. We're not going to find out the baby's sex until birth but I'm kind of terrified that itI'll be a boy. I know that the child wouldn't get dysphoria just because I have it, but what if my own dysphoria gets so bad that I need to transition. Would he still look up to me, would he be able to understand? I already have a daughter and she is the light of my life, is it wrong that I'm hoping for another girl?

[katrinaw]

hey Katelyn... simple answer to your last point - no not really IMO, we wanted girls at first, we had two, then a son came along... paternally, there is, on the whole, a stronger bond between parents and girls, probably because males take off at sometime and tend to be loners a little more...

However, I would never change any of my kids and now the grandkids, I love them all dearly... which is now the hardest part of transitioning.

Katy xx

[Laura_7]

A lot has changed the last few years, and the younger generations are much more understanding imo.

Imo its more about persons and not gender roles.. I'd say relax...


hugs

[Dena]

The younger they are when you transition, the more they accept it. My brothers kids weren't born when I transitions and Aunt Dena sowed up only at christmas time once a year. One day when they were young, my brother sat down with them and had THE talk with them. The niece who is the older of the two said that explains a lot. My nephew said nothing. That was the last time the subject came up until Jenner came out and then I told the niece I was open to any questions they might have. So far they haven't taken me up on the offer.

[KatelynBG]

Thanks everyone. I found a local therapist with Trans experience and made an appointment. I haven't told anyone the full story about my dysphoria before and it all seems so crushing. I will probably end up baring my soul to this stranger.

[KristinaM]

It will be overwhelmingly relieving to get it out in the open with someone in person.  Just saying the words out loud to someone gives it a whole new meaning and yields wonderful stress relief.  Typing it is one thing, saying it is something else as it takes on a new life all its own.  Glad you're taking this first step.

[KatelynBG]

Thank you. I agree I'm happy to take a tentative first step, but it's ok to be completely scared about where this all leads right?

[Dena]

I think you already have a pretty idea where all this is going and where you will be 5 years from now. This is going to take you completely out of your comfort zone and put you into unknown territory maybe for the first time in your life. Yes you are going to be scared but on the other hand in a short time, maybe as little as a year or two you will be so happy you did it. I had as much fear as you do and now my only regret is that is wasn't possible for me to transition any sooner than I did.

[KatelynBG]

I think you already have a pretty idea where all this is going and where you will be 5 years from now.

Holy ->-bleeped-<-. I saw it just now. Holy ->-bleeped-<-.

[Dena]

Sorry if I spooked you.

[KatelynBG]

An awkward mix of euphoria and terror actually.

[KristinaM]

Sounds like an anxiety attack, get used to them, lol.  I never had any before this, now I have them about once a month.

[Dena]

Sounds like an anxiety attack, get used to them, lol.  I never had any before this, now I have them about once a month.

I only have them when I am facing surgery. Then I get them big time.