mtf

[carolyn1956.cp]

iam a boy and have wanted to be a girl since  i was 12 im now 25 and can legaly go throght hrt how do i get started and how do i break it to my parents ?


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[Laura_7]

Hello and welcome 

Here are a few resources that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193402.msg1724354.html#msg1724354


well some people write a letter, with some personal explanations...
and show some materials like vids later...


hugs

[Maybebaby56]

Hi Carolyn,

The first thing I would recommend is finding a transgender-knowledgable therapist. If you are like many transgendered persons (including myself), you have had this gender issue bouncing around inside your head for years - with no one to confide in.  Even if you are lucky enough to have someone you can trust enough to talk to, a professional therapist can help you decide what rational steps you can take, and how to deal with it.  Transitioning for most people is very difficult.  It involves the likelihood exposing yourself to ridicule, rejection, and pain.  Losing friends.  Losing family.  Losing your job. You have to balance that potential loss against what you feel inside,  and what will really make you happy, beyond "I want to be a girl".

Before you discuss this with your parents, you have to know yourself.  I know you feel you are female, but what does that mean to you?  Just as there is a spectrum of human sexuality, gender is not necessarily binary. Do you feel more female than male, but like some parts of being male? If given a chance, would you live as a woman 24/7, or do you just like dressing up once in a while?  Will nothing less than sexual reassignment surgery satisfy you?  A therapist can help you with these questions, and also provide a safe, protected place when you decide you need to tell your parents about your plan to transition.

It is often said, "the difference between a goal and a dream is having a plan". If you are serious about transition, and want to make it more than a dream, then you need to identify what it is you really want - in specific, achievable terms - and outline plan to make them happen.  That includes financial plans, because transition is not cheap.

I hope this comes across as supportive, because I am.  I am much older than you (58) and can only wish I had the courage to do 30 years ago what you are contemplating doing now.  But it was a much different era 30 years ago, and in all honestly, it could have turned out badly. It doesn't matter.  Each of us decides when we are ready.  It sounds like you may be ready now.  But be kind to yourself!  For instance, I have given myself permission to fail at this.  I am being very careful and deliberate each step of the way, and anticipating the consequences.  If it gets to be too much, I may have to give up. In fact, I have read several stories on this site of people who did try to transition early in their lives, and had to stop for whatever reason, then found the courage and opportunity to try again. You are still young, and have many options.  Listen your heart, and listen to your life.

With kindness,

Terri

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place.
In a few lines you ask many questions. The parents you will have to decide how to handle but some people face them and explain it, and others use a letter that they give to them in person. If distance is a factor, phone or mail. Once case even came out with Face book. Most of the time the problem is working up the nerves to do it. We can educate you on your condition so you will be more informed when facing your parents and we have letter already written you can use or draw from to write you own letter.

As for where to start, therapy is always a good place to start has you need it before you get HRT. I would also work on removing body hair as you need three days growth before treatment and passing with a 3 day beard is hard. This wouldn't prevent you from working on your image and even doing some part time cross living to help you be comfortable in public. There is much to do and it is somewhat custom as to where you want to start out. Let us know what advice you need and we will see what we can come up with.

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's

Please check out the following links for general site info...

As other have said a gender therapist is the place to start.
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[suzifrommd]

Typically you need to see a doctor who will prescribe you hormones. Some such doctors will want a letter from a therapist. Others will not. Depends on whom you go see.

You'll also want to think about whether you want to transition. Transitioning can be a complex process involving clothing, presentation, etc.

Many people find a therapist helpful, though not everyone does.

My advice is to spend some time reading the various forums here. You'll get a good idea of what's involved.

As far as breaking it to your parents, I like being direct. "Mom, Dad, you may have heard there are people called 'transgender' who are born with a male body but who need to be female. No one is sure why, but it seems to happen before we're born. I'm one of those people and I can no longer live the way I've been living." Do you think that would work?