So... I went shopping the past few days.

[Tamika Olivia]

I've been wandering near the women's sections at various stores the past couple of weeks. Every time though, my fears got the better of me, and I ended up getting all yellow bellied. Yesterday, I managed to get over that. I went to Target and grabbed something small (a box of hose) and a 12 pack of diet coke. Cashier didn't bat an eyelash, and that gave me some confidence.

I went over to Kohl's then, and found a really cute teal nightgown. That made me nervous, because it wasn't small and I didn't have a buffer item, but I girl'd up and bought it. Nary an eyelash was bat.

Today I was even bolder. I had to buy groceries, so I went to Walmart. While I was there I also picked up some panties, some more hose (I love hose apparently), and some really soft pink sleep wear. Checked out, and the only comment was on how soft the nightwear was. And it is! Never have I felt this comfortable or pretty.

Mostly I'm focusing on non-public items, things that I can wear alone or under my boy costume, but it's definitely given me a burst of confidence. I think I might buy some make-up on my next check. And it's true, people don't care what you buy. Good to know!

Kisses,

Tamika

[Lordes]

You'll be surprised how few people care, particularly if you act like nothing is amiss.  Go in.  Pick out an item. Try it on.  Be discrete if it's your preference, but by all means own what you are doing.  It's really very simple, if you believe in you.

LOrdeo

[Dena]

When I was ready for makeup there was a shop that was known to be trans friendly. They helped me select colors and everything while I was still in guy dress. I think I looked a little strange sitting there with makeup on but I removed it before leaving the shop. It was a good deal for them because I always bought my makeup from them but as I have moved out of the area, that's no longer possible.

[abd789]

Its fun isnt it?

I had the fears, still do sometimes. Id drive to the store with every intent of buying, walk around get nervous and leave empty handed and defeated.

I agree, just own it.... we look stranger when its obvious we are nervous

I just make sure I always look at cashiers and ask how they are doing.... it instantly kills every bit of weirdness

I have been shopping like mad and loving it the last 2 weeks... its a new addiction

[RavenL]

I just make sure I always look at cashiers and ask how they are doing.... it instantly kills every bit of weirdness

Also just chatting to them really helps also. When I bought a rather large amount of stuff one night I just looked the cashier in the eye and asked her how her night was going did she have a long shift etc. No weird looks or anything most of the time they are just going through the motions and don't care what you are buying.

[Sondra Marie]

Its fun isnt it?

I had the fears, still do sometimes. Id drive to the store with every intent of buying, walk around get nervous and leave empty handed and defeated.

I agree, just own it.... we look stranger when its obvious we are nervous

I just make sure I always look at cashiers and ask how they are doing.... it instantly kills every bit of weirdness

I have been shopping like mad and loving it the last 2 weeks... its a new addiction

Haha seriously. Go to the store to buy some cute shorts and a bracelet, leave with ice cream to drown your sorrows. I'm, surprisingly, completely fine buying makeup. I don't even really think about it anymore but I have yet to get up the nerves to browse the women's underwear section as much as I want to.

-Ondi

[KatelynBG]

Yes talking to the cashiers helps a lot. I've gone shopping probably a dozen times and only had one awkward interation. I went to a surplus store, like a place that sells left over merchandise that bigger stores had to get rid of when they both bankrupt. I found a cute pair of peeptoe heels in size 12 with a pretty bow on the toe. I brought it to the register and the girl was in her early 20s. As she rang them up, she looked at the shoes and then back at me and said "I'm not sure these are your size..." I was embarrassed and almost walked oit, but thought quickly and smiled then said "Maybe I should put them back then." She giggled and finished the transaction and I couldn't wait to get home and try them on. They fit like a dream.

[Sharon Anne McC]

*
Another option is mail order.  I bought some items only via catalogue when I was nervous at first.  Eventually I got over my fears and bought at a real store.

What made it easier was that I began by building my wardrobe with uni-sex female attire:  jeans, tops, shoes, sox, jackets. Some I bought direct, others from catalogues.  Then as I got comfortable about it because I was wearing my uni-sex attire, I had little fear buying female clothes off the rack at the women's / misses department.  I did not necessarily try to pass as female but if I did, all the better and no stares, to boot.

I became acquainted with my color schemes, size, and styles - limiting what I would look at - knowing what I wanted allowed me to go direct rather than wandering.  Being confident when you shop reduces others' attention.  Wandering people are not necessarily trouble, but more likely - such as shoplifters; that is why cashiers and shoppers notice them - not because you might look male in the female department.

Hey, you can always say you are buying for your sister if you do not want to answer probing questions.

Yes, talking to and smiling with the cashiers is disarmingly charming.  They are doing their job by rote and not keeping score what each customer buys.

I remember your fears so well - it seems difficult now but does look so simple when you will  recall it a few years from now.

One step at a time and you will proceed with your journey.

Good luck!

*

[Dena]

I lost my tall store so I am back to the catalog. I need a size 13 shoe and I am 6'2" high so very little in a regular store fits me. It was nice while it lasted to be able to try stuff on before buying.

[graspthesanity]

There's also very friendly stores which will even ask you if you need some help or even encourage you that the right dressing room is that way, which always made me feel much better.

I'm happy you had a positive experience!

[Tamika Olivia]

So I've taken some of the advice in this topic, and the bit about small talk is a godsend. Makes each interaction easier.

I don't know if I'm brave enough to try on clothes in stores, but buying is getting easier and I'm defend at eyeballing my size. Now I just have to rid myself of the fear that my father will burst out of a potted plant and ask why I'm buying a nightgown.

[gennee]

Congratulations on your victories, Tamika. It gets easier the more you do it.

[LizK]

So I've taken some of the advice in this topic, and the bit about small talk is a godsend. Makes each interaction easier.

I don't know if I'm brave enough to try on clothes in stores, but buying is getting easier and I'm defend at eyeballing my size. Now I just have to rid myself of the fear that my father will burst out of a potted plant and ask why I'm buying a nightgown.

Good on you Girl...its tough the first time but so, so rewarding...it does get easier the more you do it...I still can't help myself and have to concoct a cover story in my head, which I might add, I have never ever had to use. Sometimes I think I am completely nuts

[Tamika Olivia]

Good on you Girl...its tough the first time but so, so rewarding...it does get easier the more you do it...I still can't help myself and have to concoct a cover story in my head, which I might add, I have never ever had to use. Sometimes I think I am completely nuts

That isn't nuts. I wear a cover story. I have a wedding ring my grandfather have me, and I wear it whenever I'm out shopping. It doesn't matter, but it's like a ring of confidence to me.

Also, jumped the gun and bought some nail polish!!! Gonna watch some youtubes and try to go to work tomorrow with secret lilac tonails!