I'm bothered by this. Should I be?

[suzifrommd]

My local PFLAG chapter forwarded a request from a local organization for "people who would be interested in becoming mentors to children of the LGBTQ community". These would be kids who were put in foster care because of trauma in their family life.

I responded, saying I was specifically interested in mentoring a transgender child.

I got a response from the agency saying they're looking for people to work with groups of children which may include LGBT kids. In other words, I wouldn't be doing anything different from any other mentor. They don't match mentors to any specific person or group.

This bothers me for two reasons:
1. I think the flier was misleading. It specifically asked for people to mentor LGBT youth but by that they really meant people mentoring groups of youth in general, some of which may include LGBT kids.
2. They are making no effort to match me, someone who comes in with knowledge which would greatly help a transgender kid (but wouldn't be especially useful to other kids) with the kids who need that help. That is not serving those kids well.

Am I right to be bothered by this? Or is my outrage meter set at too low a setting and this is pretty much what I should expect?

[LordKAT]

I'm not sure if it is worth being bothered by it. The ability to mentor youth which includes traumatized lgbt youth would be a rare thing. I don't think lgbt youth should be separated out. That could make them feel like they are worth less than the general group of kids. I also think having someone ignorant of lgbt issues with these kids included could make things worse for them since the insults (intentional or otherwise) can be traumatic on there own. I think most kids want to be accepted as being regular kids, and not treated special.

Following that same vein, I'm not sure how many of these kids want to openly identify themselves, especially if fearful of how they would be treated.

[JLT1]

Yes and no.....

I volunteered to visit LGBT youth and mentor transgendered youth when possible.  My group told me much the same thing: no selection process.  Yet, I always  end up helping the one or two transgendered out in the group.

Try it and see....

Hugs,

Jen

[JoanneB]

Or... Like puppy shopping, the puppy picks you

There is no way to "Match" a mentor to anyone. It just happens. Both parties have to be willing. Both have to click. If there was an algorithm for doing something like that some dating site would be raking in billions right now

[Ms Grace]

Joanne makes a good point. I can see both sides here - obviously if you have experience as a trans person it might stand to reason you should mentor a trans kid but that might not be what they specifically need mentoring about. Hard to know if it is a good model until you try it out I guess.

[Cindy]

I have a similar experience but in an odd way. I'm an Ally for the LGBTIQ people in the University I'm associated with. The program is run by the Equal Opportunity Office here and they wanted people who are non-heterosexual identifying to help staff, but mainly students who may need support. I explained that I was heterosexual trans sexual woman and willing and capable to help people, this has caused great angst to the Office, they still can't get their heads around the fact that transgender people can be hetero, homo, pan or nonbinary.
In practice I get far more lesbian young women than any other group seeking my advice and support. It sort of underscores the divide we face!

[Laura_7]

Well after all its humans you're dealing with...
you might simply reiterate that you have rare knowledge which might help transgender children...


hugs