How do you explian Gender Dysphoria to cis people

[LizK]

When you are in a position that you are explaining Gender dysphoria do you have a favourite or anecdotal story you use? A book recommendation? or website article? Maybe you have a number of different things you use so your audience understands....

[Tamika Olivia]

I'm not sure if I've ever had to explain what it is to any of the cis people in my life. Most of them have, at the very least, a working understanding of what the concept is and what it means. I usually instead explain how it relates to my life, and inevitably I tend towards metaphor and simile. I think if I ever end up having to explain the concept itself, I'm probably going to go all lawyer on it, and bludgeon my audience with as many facts and citations as possible. Also, metaphors and similes.

I really, really like using metaphors and similes. Maybe I was a poet in a past life?

[Serenation]

Give them a knife and say if they stab me or call me a boy it feels the same. I get very sharp abdominal pains from it, probably from it triggering acute anxiety.

[awilliams1701]

I explained it the other day as having a massive conflict between your mind and body.

[Jill F]

I once told a guy friend that it's something like "What of you woke up tomorrow with breasts and a vagina and were told that you had to wear dresses, makeup and skirts and act feminine for fear of nasty repercussions.  How would it make you feel after years and years of that?"

[katrinaw]

Personally, and had to do it again just the other day too...

I say I knew from a very young age (4) and when I had affirmation a year later of the differences you realise the body and plumbing are all wrong, you get very depressed and distressed... As today we know a lot more of the actual reasons I explain it as the way you think, how you don't fit in one gender group but can't always fit into the opposite gender group either... its like living 2 parallel worlds with an internal fight constantly to which you have to follow.

I chose the birth ID for most of my life, hating every day of it, apart form a few exceptions of creating a family that I love dearly!

Katy xx

[genevie]

Give them a knife and say if they stab me or call me a boy it feels the same. I get very sharp abdominal pains from it, probably from it triggering acute anxiety.

Exactly.

[suzifrommd]

"What if you woke up one morning looking like a man (or a woman, depending on whom I'm speaking to ). Everyone calls you a man. Men want to be your buddy, women are suspicious of you and stay away. Everyone expects you to dress like a man, act like a man, and fit in with other men. You look down and you see a hairy body not at all the way you want to look. How long would you let that continue before you tried to find a way to get back to you?"

[Lady Smith]

If the person asking the question is dominant right handed tell them to use their left hand instead for a day (or the other way around if left handed).  That to my mind is an analogy for dysphoria that they might better understand.

[Serverlan]

I don't.

[LizK]

Thankyou to everyone that replied to my question.

I had been trying to find a way to explain Dysphoria to my brother in terms that he will understand. He is a good guy and I love him dearly but he doesn't have the knowledge to be able to understand. I will give him his dues, he got online and started to research. All I think that did was confuse him. I think the problem is a bit like trying to convince him that his arm is now his leg. He has no concept of how you can look in a mirror and doubt what you see. It is such a core part of him and something he has never questioned or even thought to question. If I can get him to understand that the Dysphoria can impact a person as savagely as many very serious chronic illnesses do then he may be a bit more comfortable with it and be able to explain it to his very transphobic partner, he may get a better sense of it if he can understand the physical reactions.

So thankyou

Sarah T

[enigmaticrorschach]

honestly, people figure it out because i'm just really weird and i bender the spectrum everyday, so really, i dont say anything unless its medically relevant. nothing changes about me so i find no reason to say anything

[jessical]

I find that showing the examples of authors or actors who lived as the opposite gender for a time, for a role or for a book is helpful.  One in particular from Nora Vincent I thinks gets to the heart of the issue.  The quote below is from an interview from her in the Advocate.  She lived as a man for a year and wrote a book about the experience.

Advocate.com:What was it about living as a man that pulled your
psyche apart at the seams?

Norah Vincent: It was emotionally exhausting to
be an impostor, and also an impostor of the opposite sex.
That's what most transsexuals feel before they
make the transition. When I started, I'd
thought that gender had to do with costumes and haircuts. I
didn't understand that there was some mental
component of how you view yourself in terms of gender
that's deeply embedded in your brain and that you
can't just pull that out and not expect trouble.

[Atria]

I've always explained it like this:

Imagine if you were depressed. You know why you were depressed but there was this aching feeling that you cannot explain in your heart in gut as to what the actual feeling is. You want so bad to sate that feeling and fill it with your image that you aren't even sure you can complete. Similar to how large people who can't get skinnier have dysphoria for their body, trans people have that dysphoria for their gender. It's a difficult situation that causes so much pain and the only way to get rid of that pain is to finally be ourselves.

[LizK]

Thanks Echo I understand where you are coming from, Jessical the quote is great and I will show him along with a few other bits and pieces I am getting together. Atria your description is very close to my heart and I understand it perfectly.

[Atria]

Sarah, I think that everyone experiences some form of dysphoria in their life. I think people just get kind of confused when it comes to trans people. Because they never experienced it before. It makes it easier to relate with someone if they know a more common form of dysphoria honestly. But I'm glad you liked that description. My psych classes paid off in one way it seems. ^_^