As people may recall, I have had some 'wonderful' experiences. From setting the microwave on fire and a fire crew arriving to find me wearing female clothes (I hadn't come out at that time!).
My mop being arrested when I reported a Peeping Tom in my garden. Two police cars for that one.
And now the garage door.
My garage door is an automatic roller door that has been playing up, so on Saturday, armed with the instruction book I decide to reset it.
Suddenly it locks, fully open. So I do the obvious, hang off it to try and close it, getting my bracelet caught in the door in doing so. I'm stuck so I shout out and my neighbour arrives to see what the commotion is, catching me hanging off the door, my skirt blowing in the wind and my underwear in full view. Mmm why didn't I change into slacks?
My neighbour, John is a lovely young man and I quite fancy him, so I decide to turn bright red in embarrassment as he falls about laughing, before wrapping rather large arms around me and lifting me down.
Me, embarrassed! No way <cough>
He manages to close the door and I decide to phone a repair guy. Emergency repairs 24/7 on the web site - 'I can get there in two days'. I should have heard the alarm bells, OK says I.
Today I'm waiting for him at the agreed time and hear someone next door. Yep he got the wrong address. What is it with men and directions? When does 106 sound like 108? And he had a GPS, just can't follow the directions.
So he climbs on his ladder looking at the unit, and then turns to me examining my cleavage with interest and decides to talk to my boobs. 'It's broken', Wow I think. I genius is in my midst.
"I thought it was, that is why I called a repair guy" sarcasm dripping from my lips.
'Oh most women call because they can't operate the controls' Oh great I think, women can't press a button; must be the estrogen.
"Can you fix it?" I say in wonderment.
"Sure, I can be here next week"
So dumb bunny says. "Great see you next week"
Must be the estrogen