I fully came out to my dad as trans gender and explained everything

[loganisazombie]

I wrote a post a day or so ago asking how do i come about explaining to my dad i am a transgender male. He didnt take it well atall. He yelled at me saying 'this isnt normal' , 'you need help', 'yournot a boy and u never will be', 'why would u do this to me', and 'you're just confused'. It hurt allot. All my dad knew before was that i dressed like a boy and pressented myself as a male. My own dad made me feel like i was a freak for being me (im not trying to get sympathy im just trying to vent my feelings to u guys)

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[BenKenobi]

To be fair yes you do need help. Hormones probably will help.

Smart assery aside I'm sorry your dad didn't take it well but i wouldn't back down. You're not a freak. You're just a different kind of boy and he needs to see that

[Jacqueline]

That sucks. I know you said you aren't looking for sympathy. I feel for you all the same.

I hope the venting helped a little. I also hope you have more luck with this in the future.

Therapy is very useful for clearing through confused thoughts.

With warm thoughts and love,

Joanna

[Laura_7]

First, have a *hug*

try to calm down, and don't take it personally.

Its some fears they have... like what the neighbours think... etc... it has nothing to do with reality.

Reality is you feel this way, and there are many ther transgender people feeling the same.

You might try to talk to them calmly. That you want help from a gender therapist to sort this out.


In your other thread were a few more resources:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193700.msg1726797.html#msg1726797

[FTMDiaries]

Well done - that's actually a good start!

Coming out is often the most difficult thing, and you'll have to keep doing it, again and again. The way your Dad reacted isn't uncommon, unfortunately - but you needed to get over this hurdle before you can get anywhere else. Try not to take what he said to heart: you know he's wrong about you being a 'freak' and he was reacting out of shock & anger; in time he'll get over his initial reaction and he'll eventually come round, but it is going to take time. For now, try to pluck up the courage to not go back into the closet again, but to keep gently pushing forward.

Please take a look at the responses to your other thread, if you haven't already done so; there are some helpful tips for how you can manage this going forward. If you're continuing a conversation on a particular subject, it's helpful for you to keep it to the same thread rather than start a new one.

In particular, if your Dad said you need help, search here for a Gender Therapist near you and give your Dad their contact details - tell him you do want help with this and ask him to book you in with one of those therapists. NB: not a 'reparative/conversion therapy' therapist who tries to talk LGBT people out of our identities. Those are a waste of time & money at best, and actually harmful at worst.

[suzifrommd]

Hugs, Logan. I can imagine how hurtful that is, to have someone you look up to deny your identity.

Unfortunately your task ahead is a difficult one: To educate your father. He needs to know:
* Being trans is not something you chose. You were born with it.
* No one has ever come up with a way to "cure" it. No therapist is going to be able to make you not trans.
* It won't go away on its own and it can destroy people who ignore it. Severe anxiety and depression are common among transgender people who don't transition.
* Transitioning is the only recognized medical treatment, and has a very positive success record.

You may need to say some of these things multiple times - some people don't start to listen until they've heard something more than once. If there is another adult in your life who will help you explain things to him, that might be helpful as well.

Good luck. We're here pulling for you.

[Atria]

That is definitely hard. I was lucky when I came out and my mom was very accepting. I didn't need to worry about what my dads reaction would be cause he's been dead for about 7 years. If you can get him to talk to you about it in a calm manner then all the more power to you. If not, I'm sorry... Some just don't understand the struggle.