Family acceptance

[rib]

I started coming out to my family about 4 months ago. No one has told me I'm going to hell or beat me up or anything crazy. But no one is supportive. They all have their own selfish agendas. Around each other they won't stick up for me or use male pronouns. But in private they mostly will. My sister in law especially is unsupportive. She gets angry when people misgender her but she won't use my pronouns even when we are alone. She often uses the word ->-bleeped-<-got when refering to gay guys which honesly makes me want to cry. She is a lesbian! Married to my sister! If I have no hope with fellow queer people, how will my straight family members ever understand? Since they found out my sister was gay it's taken them 10 years to even invite her to Christmas again

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[CursedFireDean]

I haven't had anyone hostile towards me in my family either. However I do get constant misgendering from certain members and I have some members that I simply haven't heard from since. My step-dad told me I just 'wanted to be like my transgender friend' and was making a big mistake. My dad and sister are the only ones who are firm about my pronouns and son/brother, and it took them MONTHS to get there. A good chunk of my family refused to acknowledge it was a reality until I was enough months on hormones for there to be clear changes.

As for the fellow queer people, I've noticed something. There are wonderful queer people who advocate for EVERYONE in the community and will educate themselves when you inform them of new issues and identities. Then there's the queer people who see the community as LG or LGB but completely ignore the T. It seems very polarized. I don't know why it is that some LGB people refuse to accept gender into the community, I think some of them feel threatened by it. Which is no excuse by any means. But in my experience they are certainly not representative of queer spaces or support groups. 

[rib]

Thanks man iv been super scared to go to a group

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[Majikbrat]

Momma of a FTM here.  I am so sorry this is happening to you.  I am still guilty of sometimes using the wrong pronoun.  Although he has been out to us for almost a year, he is only a few months out to the rest of the family and didn't want us to change pronouns until then. 

As for the rest of our family, most of them are on board.  One seems to be ignoring it, and just skips pronouns all together.  Not being mean, or ignoring him.  Just taking some time to wrap her head around it I think.

Hopefully, given time, your family will come around to.  I hope it doesn't take 10 years.  Someday when I wake up rich, I am going to start a nationwide chain of Gender Centers so that there is always a safe place for people going through this.  But until then I am just going to hang out here and try to be a friend.

Majik

[FriendsCallMeChris]

Maybe it's just me, but I'm cutting everyone a break until I look more like my gender.  But then, my friends are older and being transgender is a very foreign idea for them.  Long habits and little familiarity doesn't mean they don't accept me.  It just means those long term memories haven't been replaced with new thought patterns yet.  Eventually, I figure they'll feel silly calling me the wrong gender when everyone around them gets it right.

But then, I'm pretty self sufficient and can pick and choose when I'm around them. And when I'm feeling dysphoric, I avoid the people who haven't gotten it yet.