Use the right name, get a treat!

[Cyrinaluna]

So I've been using my new name for about 2 months now. For my family it's been fine, since it was a childhood nickname anyway. But friends and people at work have been forgetting. No one is intentionally misnaming me, just forgetful. And I'm grateful at least they catch themselves 70% of the time. But the other 30% really kills me when I hear my dead name.

I discovered a solution that I think is equal parts effective and hilarious.

I used to be a dog trainer and i used a lot of positive reinforcement as training. It worked well for the dogs so I started carrying around a bag of m&ms. Everytime someone uses my correct name, they get a treat! It's actually working too! Before, I was just ignoring people who used the wrong name, but I couldnt do that at work since 9 times out of 10 they would be calling me to help customers. Politely (or rudely) correcting them never seemed to work either. 1 week of "treat training" and I've only heard my old name 2 or 3 times. And only from people I see once or twice a week. It's actually pretty hilarious because my one friend/coworker will call me from across the store for help and will have her hand out waiting by the time I get there.

I'm not sure how this will work with pronouns, since most of the time they're used I'm not around to hear them.

Has anyone else had unusual ways to get people to use your correct name/pronouns?

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[MeganeRei]

That's hilarious because I've literally been talking to a couple friends about how I should give people M&ms when they use my correct name and pronouns! I'm glad to see it works for you, LOL!

[captains]

Please do this,  it's genius


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[Lady Smith]

I think that's brilliant, - positive reinforcement all the way 

[Katiepie]

I should do that for work. But when the time comes for legally changing to Kate. I've already changed over to use my last name instead of deadname. But I'd use Hershey kisses. So then every time if they get it right, they'd get a kiss. (play on candy!)

Kate <3

[Cyrinaluna]

I love the kiss idea! That's super cute!

I honestly thought it wouldn't work at first, but I thought, why not try it? Training people like dogs lol



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[HoneyStrums]

I love the kiss idea! That's super cute!

I honestly thought it wouldn't work at first, but I thought, why not try it? Training people like dogs lol



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;/ erm, I hope nobody finds this offensive.

Its one thing to see positive reinforcement,
Its another to see being treted like an animal.

I just hope everybody you use this tactic with,view it as the former and not the latter

[Cyrinaluna]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that to be offensive. I just found amusing because dog training is where I got the idea. I for sure didn't mean to offend anyone and I appologize.

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[Katiepie]

A thought that popped up for me was that conditioning people to get something as simple as getting your name down... Is more like training a cat. Positive reinforcement that heavily deals with treats such as candy. I'm not trying to be offensive, but I know a thing or two about animals and their temperaments. Dogs can be trained with treats or positive reinforcement with a belly rub, or bunches of pats and pets. Cats deal with training more specifically food and treat oriented.

Or instead of a treat system, you could just pull the person aside and give them the whole spill that calling you by your deadname is very uncomfortable, and that you could take action with hr if they remain consistent with remaining to not comply with your new name. I mean this is just a thought, and including that if someone slips once in a while it should be no issues if they continually attempt to get used to a new name.

Kate <3