Not sure if this will help...
I'm looking to feminize my apearrance as well, and I LOVE exercise, especially in a gym. At home, not so much.
I've found a few things seem to be helping, and I'm still working out details of "how" exactly to complete the process. I'm also not on HRT.
So far, I've got to lose 100 pounds, basically - 80 fat, 20 muscle.
I WAS doing Stronglifts 5X5, and ended up big and blocky. Stiff, hurting, tight muscles.
When I got back to the gym most recently, I'd done more research, and found the Agile 8 warmup, which has a LOT of foam roller in it. Muscles are now softer and don't hurt... And I've increased the rolling to multiple body parts. All good, all better.
Next, as I'm doing a posture repair lifting program (IT guy who sits too much), I'm finding out more about how the activity affects me. We need certain motions, but need to lay off a lot of weight/weights, and reps. I'm balancing my back with my front here, but once I have the posture OK, I'm dropping the weight - so now more 150# rows. 50#, long, slow, controlled, but not so slow as to cause growth (hypertrophy).
After that, I'm looking to revise it further - squats and deadlifts every day, with yoga and foam rolling, and get jogging in there routinely. We don't need much weight for lifting, we want time under tension (how long you take) to be the key, and ONLY on certain muscles - Vastus Medialis and Gluteus Medius and Gluteus Maximus. Yoga and Pilates styles will work them quite well, I think, when I get the transition done.
I also want to look at weighted hula hooping and dance exercise for additional aerobic-type exercise.
the weak point is, at some point I'll need to focus on strength training again, because the body needs to act INefficiently to retain a lean line. If we do Aerobics all day, eventually the body learns how to get the most energy from the least food... And you end up fat, because even eating like a bird, you're eating more than the body needs. I'm NOT sure what I'll do at that point. But I figure with all the mass I have to burn off, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I think also we would do well from multiple training sessions per day, say half hour of dance in the morning, half hour of jogging at lunch, half hour of yoga at night. Get the metabolism revved in programs that simulate High Intensity Interval Training, while also looking at flexibility first. I'm obviously biased (5'8.5", 230#, 33% body fat), and an exomorph would want to run different diet and training from my meso/endomorphic "fat burn' priority. Maybe more cycling, eat more fats, massage the butt and hips to encourage blood flow -> deposit fat by eating candy with the fats, insulin spike, more blood flow = more fat gain, etc. But that's still theory.
If I can get it all sorted, I'll make up a REAL program, like a "choose your own adventure" design. I've got the same idea for three "products", so... :-) Might be worth it, financially!
-Dianna