-Ala David Tenant but an older gentleman steps out of a blue box with "brainy specs" and approaches the five year old. The child(always serious) looks him over and says , "Hi".
Response-oddly without and English accent.
"I am so sorry, Jono. So sorry. But you have to pull your big girl panties up and stop crying. Oh, you're not crying, isn't that unusual? Never mind, I have a lot of things to tell you and I can't stay long.
All right. In a few years, if you haven't done it yet, you are going to borrow some clothes from your Mom and sister's closets and drawers. That and borrowing or buying girls clothes will be something you will always do till you figure this all out. Then you'll just buy your own.
Because it is what is right for you. It's okay. Don't deny it and don't feel bad. No regrets, not guilt. You are not like most people but you know that already. This may sound really weird but there is a girl in your head and you should let her do things. She is going to help save you.
From yourself.
If you get the chance, try to tell your Mom(not your Dad yet) that you think you are a girl. I'm not sure if you have worked that through in your own head but trust me. You can think of it like pretend but I think you will find it is real. It may freak your mom out a bit. However, she loves you and will try to do what she can for you. I don't know what all that will entail but try to convince her and don't badger. But don't forget it either! Every several months if you have to. Your Dad may be a scientist and teacher but he won't get it yet, despite his understanding that the wrong chemical balance can effect people's bodies and psychological being.
I know you understand most of what I'm saying. You may have questions but I have more information to get through.
I know because kids are a lot smarter than how most people treat them, and I know you. Moving on.
Stop obsessing over how absurd the plastic vegetables in your kindergarten class room are. The teachers know they can't really be grown and they don't really know why they are there either.
If you don't believe what I am telling you yet, it is okay. Wait a few years but don't forget. In two years you will get glasses for reading(it's really a form of dyslexia that you will adapt to in 6 years but they won't diagnose it). Oh, and you will move to a new school district. If you don't believe me and then that happens, go back up to my advice before. Except for the bit about the plastic vegetables. You will remember that but it will just be curious. See if you can convince your Mom you are a girl. It's still okay if it is just she and maybe your sister who believes you. Also, don't let them think you believe you are a girl because your sister told you to. That is something that might happen isn't it?
I know, right?
Anyway. You may not want to be seen as a girl in your schools yet. You will probably get bullied without being seen as a girl. Here's the thing. If you can convince your Mom to get you blockers by 13 or 14, do it. No not a offensive lineman from the Miami Dolphins. These are some medicine they will give you to stop your voice from dropping and a bunch of other stuff you will not want to happen later. Once again, trust me.
No, you can't go to the bathroom yet. Sorry my time here is short.
If you still don't believe me it's okay to wait on all this till you're done with college. You'll still be pretty androgynous then. Just your voice will drop and the electrolysis will hurt.
It's when they poke a needle in where a hair is coming out of your face; shock it with electricity and pull it out. Yes, it does hurt quite a bit. But as I was saying, you will still be pretty good then, though it would be better if you start all this stuff before going to college. However, then you will also need to start some sort of estrogen too.
It helps your girl feel right in your body.
Oh, I forgot. You need to see a therapist. .. You know like a psychologist. No I didn't say you're crazy. You will just need one to help with a few things.
Like, helping you work through some of your feelings, help others to understand you better. You will also need them to let the doctors know it's okay to start the blockers. Well, by then you should know the rest and take it from there.
Thanks. I gotta go now.
Yes, I have always loved that stuffed bear.
Well I know because although we haven't met yet I have always been there and it was my favorite too.
If you still don't believe me. It's alright. You will meet a wonderful woman and have three great daughters. Come to think of it, it's up to you. But this time think about it.
Because last time I didn't.
Oh, and if you need a little extra cash, and you will if you follow my advice. You might work all I just told you into a script and send it to Russel T Davies, Neil Gaiman or Steven Moffat as a potential episode, by or before 2009. They can flesh it out from there. Make sure you have a lawyer to help you make that binding.
The contract of course.
Of course if you do believe me and follow through any of this, I don't know if I can come back and visit you in the first place. Any wayyyyy.
Ooooh, gotta dash. I am so sorry.
Cuz it's not gonna be easy. Any choice you make will be hard but what isn't? You will be okay. Try to laugh sometimes.