Honest opinion, criticism of body size, etc.

[lemons]

So based off the two pictures, I feel like I am bigger than my gf, despite us being the same height. (which I know for a fact)  We actually have about the same body measurements more or less, But I always feel and see she has a tinier frame than me, which I believe plays a large part in why she passes and I don't, despite us looking similar and having very similar proportions.  I'm on the left in the striped brown shirt, her on the right in blue:



(here I think I look noticeably bigger framed)



(but here I feel it's pretty much the same, just by lowering the camera...)






I always feel my head and waist are much larger compared to her to the point where it really gets in the way of being able to pass properly.  However, upon measuring both, in inches we come out to the same size relatively, which is odd because it doesn't look that way. (much of my case might be my head shape being longer/bigger, not actual size around, since thats the same)

So I guess I'm looking for unbiased opinions.  Am I huge or about the same size that it doesn't matter?  I feel like my head in profile looks so awkward too....reads as very distinctly male and I worry even FFS couldn't help that. (even though, it seems maybe it could with forehead and jaw/chin reduction)

[stephaniec]

If you don't mind me being blatantly honest, I think some how you've acquired a distorted perception of your self. I truly don't see what you see. You look the same if not smaller than her. Your head looks smaller also.

[Jenna Marie]

...I triple-checked that I was identifying you correctly in the pictures, because I honestly think you (in the striped shirt) look smaller and slimmer than she does. I hate to say it, and I have my own issues where this is true - I HATE my forehead!! - but I think your perceptions of yourself are skewed.

(Mind you, both of you look adorable!)

[Dena]

I though the person on the left was female until I checked the text and then I reviewed my right and left because sometime I get them confused when I am giving directions and yes, the one on the left looks more female. I am 6'2" and while I have a slim build, I have bones that with always be with me. My solution to the problem is a lose fitting top and that always take the body out of the picture when it comes to passing. If you try a lose fitting top and still have issues passing, the problem is any one of a hundred other problems. You don't have to present a perfect image in order to pass, you only need to present more female than male. CIS women often have features that say male, but enough of their image says female that they are gendered female. By focusing on one part of your body you might miss the issue that is causing the problem and that issue might be easy to correct.

[Kova V]

I think you both pass super well. I had to read this post 4 times to figure out what you are talking about and who is who in the photo. Your gf looks like she is a bit smaller but has a really long neck. You both may be the same height but it looks like you have longer legs and a normal neck. I don't know if that makes any sense.

I read somewhere that you can make your neck longer through posture. I don't remember where I read it but it had something to do with ballet, you could probably google it. Honestly I think you're paranoid - you both look perfectly fine.

[januarysunshine]

I think Dena really had great advice!! People who view you are subject to cognitive dissonance which is just psychobabble for if you look more female than male, their brains will register u as female and forget any masculine stuff. So whatever body issue you feel you have, if someone sees enough female attributes, their brain checks the female box and there you go.
No offense but you may have body image issues because you look totally female and absolutely passable...again no offense intended...you're totally lovely so don't worry so much


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[Juniper]

... and then I reviewed my right and left because sometime I get them confused when I am giving directions ...

I am not the only one!! I'm sometimes like wait *holds out L-shapes in hands* oh yeah, THAT left!

So based off the two pictures, I feel like I am bigger than my gf, despite us being the same height. (which I know for a fact)  We actually have about the same body measurements more or less, But I always feel and see she has a tinier frame than me, which I believe plays a large part in why she passes and I don't, despite us looking similar and having very similar proportions.

You both are fabulous! I would say you two look really similar and there's zero reason you wouldn't be able to pass in any given scenario. I know it is hard to get any given body image issue out of your mind but hopefully all the positive messages here can help!

[KristinaM]

I've seen those pictures before in another thread and I think I mentioned in that one that the person on the left looks more female than the person on the right.

It's got to be something other than your physical stature and size that's causing the passing problem.  Maybe how you carry yourself or mannerisms?  How long have you been presenting female in public?  It takes quite a while before you become indistinguishable as you learn how to hold yourself and how to interact with others as purely female from what I hear.

[lemons]

Hi there, lemons!

Here's my unbiased comment:

1) The pictures need better resolution to be able to pick up on subtle details.

2) You say she is your girlfriend and she "passes". I am confused, is she an MTF or a cis woman?

3) According to those pictures, the person on the left has evidently a smaller frame, and a better shoulder to hip ratio, but is also skinnier than the one on the right, specially in the lower body. And to me you two look very similar, almost like twin sisters, only one is evidently skinnier than the other. You both look very good and passable in those pictures, but again, they need better resolution to pick up on fine details that one can see in real life.

Cheers

Bibi B.

1) The main focus is body structure/frame, not individual body parts/features since they're about the same on both of us.

2)MTF

3) People have said we look similar irl too.  I kinda see it, but she has a smaller frame than me whenever I'm next to her or whatever. (like for example, her legs are smaller sitting next to mine, etc.  This was last fall when I was a lower weight but I still recall it being the case most of the time)

[bibilinda]

she has a smaller frame than me whenever I'm next to her or whatever.

Not in those pictures, no way. She looks evidently bigger, although not by much. Maybe if you both wore the exact same outfit  and took some pics next to each other using the same stance, the difference could be more evident.

[saraht123]

You look like two cis girls rocking an andro look. I don't see any clue in the size or shape of your head. I think your gf is a just shade taller than you, maybe, but you both seem to have quite similar builds.

Looks like your gf's hair is quite a bit longer than yours or she has a slightly different style, so maybe that makes a difference?