What If T Doesn't "Work?"

[Clever]

Okay, so I have this terrible fear that I will be a weird outlier and T won't change me at all. Like, I'll be the exception and even after a year I won't look right--still feminine.

I see these great pictures of guys who have been multiple years on T and they look so masculine and amazing and all I can think of is, I'm going to be the exception to the rule and I will always look feminine.

Are there guys who just never look masculine even after years of T? I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me. I don't think I could take it.

[KyleEdric]

Maybe it's still too soon to tell? Forgive me, I have no experience with T yet, but what I do know is that people react to hormones and drugs differently and at different rates. Maybe it'll take a bit longer for you to see any big changes?

I'm still waiting to get therapy rolling so I can be approved for T. I'm just as impatient lol

[Sapphire87]

I think everybody goes through that fear at some point, but i haven't heard of anybody who's gone through transitioning have absolutely nothing happen to them. I also haven't looked to deeply into that either though but it really doesn't seem to be something that would happen often at all

[CursedFireDean]

I definitely haven't heard of guys many many years on T who aren't obviously men, however I do have a few stories to share.

I know one guy who is now a year and a half on T, and he seems to not have gotten many body hair changes at all. No stomach hair, just teeny tiny face scruffies on his chin. He's really only gotten his voice drop and some fat redistribution. He passes very well (still some misgendering at school, but I know so many masculine trans guys that somehow get misgendered at this school who are very manly looking, it's a weird phenomenon.) he still has his monthly as well.

I myself am now almost a year on T (which I still can't believe, I'm amazed.) my blond body hair makes it difficult to see my stomach fuzz or my facial hair which seems to be an average medium amount for being this long on T. It grows under my chin, to the sides a little, and at the corner part of my jaw near my ears. Fat redistribution hasn't happened much at all for me. And my voice, though it has dropped quite a bit, still sounds like a girl on the phone, which I'm honestly incredibly insecure about. If you see my face it sounds male but on the phone, people constantly think I'm my girl coworker. I'm still holding out hope that it will drop more. I'm starting to research ways to sound more male, because I know speech patterns can make all the difference in certain pitch ranges. I too get misgendered at that same school all the time, however where I work now (a conservative southern girls school haha) I pass so well that some of the freshman think I'm a boy their age. Having 14 year olds flirt with me is weird and uncomfortable but at least it means had I grown up male, I would have been attractive.

I have one friend who started T roughly 2 weeks after me, so he is at 11 months now. To be painfully honest, he's barely noticed anything. His voice has not dropped much, the only facial hair he's got is that gross puberty-stache that 14 year olds get. We live together and he sometimes walks around in a sports bra or short binder and he seems to have no body hair. I know his lower legs grew more hair but from about 3/4 up his shin and higher, bare. He struggles to keep on weight so there's little body fat to redistribute. He may have noticed more himself because he doesn't seem incredibly insecure or upset about these things, but I worry sometimes because he really does seem far behind others. I may ask him if his doctor is keeping his levels in a decent male range.

I don't know if these stories help much but I kinda told them (the two not me in particular) because I think it can be easy to expect more from hormones in a certain timeline than they actually give. I expected more facial hair since my dad grows it easily, and since I passed pre-T very well, I expected to pass 100% now. I expected a male voice because it's so rare not to have that. I didn't get all those things at the year mark, but I still may get them in the years to come.

I'm not saying what you're asking for is unreasonable at all. Just that we tend to associate ourselves with the people who see more changes in a year or so than ones who are closer to what we may experience. But eventually we get there. Every transguy I've ever seen who has been on hormones for a few years is so incredibly happy about their transition and where they ended up. And you will be the same, even if it doesn't seem like it at first.

[HeyTrace19]

Are there guys who just never look masculine even after years of T?

I suppose that depends on your expectations and what you consider to be 'masculine enough'... 

For me personally, I am somewhat disappointed in my T changes.  Happy overall, and feeling much better in my skin, but still disappointed.  I have been on T for 4 and a half years, and most people assess my gender correctly, but misgendering still occurs from time to time.  I know that if you lined up a group of cis-men and included me in it, I would stand out as odd looking.  My body shape and overall form still appears very feminine to me, even though I have a little goatee and my hairline has become more masculine.  I have built a little muscle, and I think my legs are quite masculine, even though they are not male proportioned. (Skeletal sex differences).  When I am shirtless, there is NO DOUBT that I was born female... Not because of my surgery scars, but because the shape of my torso. (Again, skeletal sex differences)  I love to swim, and love to run without a shirt, but I have gathered a lot of strange looks and some rude comments while doing so, and it just leaves me feeling generally unsafe out in the community. 

I guess T has worked for me, to the degree that it can change certain characteristics, but there are definitely important things that it CANNOT change!  Perhaps you may want to better prepare yourself for the things that likely will not happen, and be thankful for the little things as they do occur.  My voice changed after about 3-4 months, building muscle was easier after about a year, I was able to grow a little facial hair after about 2 years,  I had some noticeable body fat redistribution after about 3 years, and my hairline really changed at about 3 1/2 years.  It has been a very slow process for me, and I still have mixed feelings about continuing testosterone, mostly due to health concerns as I age, but I know that I feel much more emotionally stable and just plain 'right' in the head because of T.

I used to say I would give it 5 years and see what happens...now I have changed that to 10 years, because I still hold out a little hope that there is further masculinization that occurs over time.  I certainly do not look like other men my age...but am hoping to catch up some day!  I think the younger you start, the more acceptable the results may be.  I am in my forties, and wish I would have had this option before puberty, but alas, I did not...So I have to accept what I can get.

I wish you well in figuring out your path and coming to a place of acceptance as time goes by.

[Clever]

Thanks guys. Yeah, I think I need to adjust my expectations. Honestly, I'm just hoping for a not-soprano voice and a face that doesn't immediately scream "female." I started T at 38, so I should probably be happy with whatever I can get at this point.

Thanks for the replies!