Believe me I understand the frustration although my problem is of a slightly different nature. My wife lets me dress around the house, and even created drawer room for my female wardrobe and gave me some of her clothes, but she does not want me to come out publicly for fear of how I will be treated and damage to my business/career.
Since I am small I think once I get out I could pass pretty easily with the right clothes, padding, makeup, hair, and hormones, but the problem is my business is dependent on the marketplace, too many people know me, and I deal with a lot of older people, and a lot of sectors of society where there is a lot of misogyny. Which means if I come out I am going to be like a minor league Caitlyn Jenner without the bodyguards and the ability to dodge negative attention. Even if I ended up pretty, too many people are going to know I am transgender to ever escape the label.
So for now I live behind my privacy fence, and I still have to put on a suit and be "that guy" when I go out in the world. Sometimes I feel like Rappacini's Daughter.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rappaccini's_Daughter
