Things I've noticed since transitioning

[Everbrooke]

So, I'm new to the site, and I've been on HRT for about a month now.  I was a little worried going in because I've heard horror stories from some people who...didn't feel like HRT is always the best.  I have found myself happier and healthier on HRT all the way around:

1.) My libido has not dropped.  I am more easily aroused period.  It may have dipped the first week, but then my breasts started developing and have become amazingly sensitive.  I believe this is the biggest issue towards this, but if anything I'd say I'm definitely more easily sexually aroused.  I think about sex probably less, but then my nipples get really sensitive and I just get...turned on. :/  This isn't always a good thing either.

2.) Everything has been easier on HRT.  Everything.  Dieting, working out, working at my job, playing video games, concentrating on things...everything.  I think this may be because there is this huge weight off my shoulders and I can actually focus and do things much more clearly now that this part of my life is moving forward.

3.) People are mostly really accepting and cool with me.  I just got a new job and came out to my boss in the interview.  She hired me without qualms and I am now employed at Target.  It's just a retail job but I'm loving it here and literally everyone is treating me very cool.

4.) I'm not as good at acting as I figured I was.  I've come out to a number of my friends at this point and the most common reaction basically has amounted to "that makes sense".  I don't know why this is slightly upsetting, but I guess I'd put it like this.  I've been trying to bro it up for nearly 25 years, so people just being like "OH!  Well yeah!" kinda means that whole time was pointless.

I had a crappy childhood, and my parents views of the LGBTQIA community were very negative.  I was sexually, physically, and mentally abused so I shouldn't even be thinking I should've done this earlier, but it's the thought that keeps popping up, just a general "why did this take me so long!"

I still get nervous shopping in girl's sections.  I act very silly.  I will stalk the section I need to shop in, and take about 45 minutes finally getting there, and then I'll make sure no one is looking at me.  I do not know why I do this, because when I logic it out I realize that no one in my life right now has had issues with who I really am, and if someone does, then screw em!  Despite this, I just have a hard time shopping for bras, makeup, and the like.  I need to get over it.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe it'll be helpful to someone else who is trepidatious to start therapy.  All I can say is I should've listened to my inner voice at least a little sooner.

[Ms Grace]

Hi!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on your transition thus far. I think you'll find some of the difficulties you mentioned around buying clothes will evaporate pretty quickly... and hey, you work at Target so you've got plenty of opportunity to practice walking around the women's section like you own the joint!

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Cheers

Grace

[Mariah]

HI and welcome to Susan's. Congrats on what you have accomplished so far. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[chloeD33]

Good on ya girl! I can't wait until I'm on estrogen myself! Testosterone supressants have already been a blessing

[Valwen]

E is amazing, shopping gets easier but even living full time for two months I have trouble there and have only used the changing room once and that was with a friend. All together shopping with a friend is way better. Your doing great and I know things will get better still.

I so envy your "sensitivity" 4-5 months of estrogen and mine are no more fun than before, they hurt like heck when hit or bumped or rolled over on but no fun stuff. :-)
In they
My friends had similar "we kinda guessed that" reactions in there defense I never tried very hard to hide myself

Serena

[Everbrooke]

E is amazing, shopping gets easier but even living full time for two months I have trouble there and have only used the changing room once and that was with a friend. All together shopping with a friend is way better. Your doing great and I know things will get better still.

I so envy your "sensitivity" 4-5 months of estrogen and mine are no more fun than before, they hurt like heck when hit or bumped or rolled over on but no fun stuff. :-)
In they
My friends had similar "we kinda guessed that" reactions in there defense I never tried very hard to hide myself

Serena

Oh I get pain there, mostly itching, but pain too.  After that passes they get sensitive, then the sensitivity will drop a bit(especially if I...well...deal with it...) and it will be like before I was on E, and then back to aching and itching.  This cycle is starting to normal out though, although I'm aware I'm lucky that it seems to be happening much quicker than it has for most.

[Kayla Marie]

I still get nervous shopping in girl's sections.  I act very silly. I will stalk the section I need to shop in, and take about 45 minutes finally getting there, and then I'll make sure no one is looking at me.  I do not know why I do this, because when I logic it out I realize that no one in my life right now has had issues with who I really am, and if someone does, then screw em!  Despite this, I just have a hard time shopping for bras, makeup, and the like.  I need to get over it.

Omg I totally do that too lol! One time I did almost two laps around Kohls waiting for a woman and her teenage daughter to walk away from the bras I wantef to look at. After lap 2 I just said the hell with it. I spotted the color I wanted from across the aisle then just kinda politely said excuse me and quickly rummaged through the rack for my size and then nervously shuffled away. Neither the woman or her daughter paid me any attention whatsoever. It seems silly, but those are the mind games we play with ourselves. I like think of those times as something I'll soon be able to look back and laugh about.

[Everbrooke]

Omg I totally do that too lol! One time I did almost two laps around Kohls waiting for a woman and her teenage daughter to walk away from the bras I wantef to look at. After lap 2 I just said the hell with it. I spotted the color I wanted from across the aisle then just kinda politely said excuse me and quickly rummaged through the rack for my size and then nervously shuffled away. Neither the woman or her daughter paid me any attention whatsoever. It seems silly, but those are the mind games we play with ourselves. I like think of those times as something I'll soon be able to look back and laugh about.

Already happening for me.

Noticed today a marked difference in how I take cold and heat.  Hot is no longer as big an issue for me, but in cold spaces I am definitely getting cold faster, and to a more extreme degree.

This means more hoodie time....can't we all do with a little more hoodie time?

[Valwen]

I am always hot. I had desperately hoped hrt would make me more comfortable in warm weather but no such luck so far. I am thinking I should get a office job, they apparently keep them too cold for most women to be comfortable I think I will be good with that.

Serena

[HoneyStrums]

4.) I'm not as good at acting as I figured I was.  I've come out to a number of my friends at this point and the most common reaction basically has amounted to "that makes sense".  I don't know why this is slightly upsetting, but I guess I'd put it like this.  I've been trying to bro it up for nearly 25 years, so people just being like "OH!  Well yeah!" kinda means that whole time was pointless.

Yes, definatelly yes.

Yea I used to get the, dont be so girly comments, (one time I was even asked, if I was sure I wasnt a woman, only once and this was the one I cut down the hardest, and was happyest about hearing) and It would cause me to feel mixed emotions, half like, you have no idea lol, and half like with all this effort? sad face. And after comming out it was, well we thought you was gay, or that makes alot of sence, or that exsplains a few things.

And, YEAH it can feel like, it was all weasted effort, but remember these are people that are OK with us. So would I call it a weast? Not when we were atleast desrespected by others a lot less for it, By cutting exspressed femininity down to a more tolerable level, within a percieved male.

[Sophieraven]

I still get nervous shopping in girl's sections.  I act very silly.  I will stalk the section I need to shop in, and take about 45 minutes finally getting there, and then I'll make sure no one is looking at me.  I do not know why I do this, because when I logic it out I realize that no one in my life right now has had issues with who I really am, and if someone does, then screw em!  Despite this, I just have a hard time shopping for bras, makeup, and the like.  I need to get over it.

+1 Me too althought i did to a pick up and run in Tesco's the other day, Knew what i wanted and where and just went for it, lol

Sophie