Older Parents how would you do it

[LizK]

I am looking for suggestions as to how to come out to my parents in their 70"s. I am in my early 50's so there is a long history between us...most of the last 30 years I have lived in another country and over the last 10 would see them every couple of years. I thought about not coming out to them at all due to their age...I do not want ot be responsible for giving either of them a heart attack if you get my drift. They may have some difficulty with their 50+ years old son about to become their Daughter, Age: (mind your business  🙂 )

How can I do this (baring in mind the ages involved) the kindest way possible... I will have 10 days in total to spend with them and I will be coming out to my eldest brother during the same period, but this is the guy who for 30 years took great pleasure in ribbing me I was supposed to be the girl of the family and loved watching me squirm...I suspect I won't be the only one when I tell him.

So back to my parents I have about 10 days till we go, to try and work out when and how and what I am going to tell them. One thing I am not prepared to do is try and "convince" anyone whether or not I should transition because IMHO that is no one else business but mine and I am not asking their permission. I will have my wife with me on the couch beside me when I do it and she is prepared to help if she can.

I keep having second thoughts about even telling them  but it doesn't really make sense not too.

Thanks

Sarah T

[Ms Grace]

My folks are in their 70s. I told them a few days before I was going to transition. I was scared poopless but I sat down with them and told them I had been depressed, that I had gender dysphoria, that I had been seeing a psyche, that I was transgender, I had been on hormone therapy for almost a year and that I was going to transition to female the next week. I showed them some pictures of myself as Grace so they had some idea what I was talking about. They were pretty stunned, they said that  they were accepting but that changed within a few days as the reality of it sunk in. I was able to swing my mother back around by having lunch with her shortly afterwards and that helped quell many of her concerns. My father continues to struggle.

Since you have ten days with them maybe tell them on the first or second day and then see if they will meet you as Sarah if you are ready for that to be a thing. That way you'll have a week or so to try and sort out any misunderstandings or problems.

[LizK]

Hi Grace

I would not have considered telling them if it were 10 years ago because they were very different people then than they are now. The had a business go bad and ended up bankrupt with out much more than the clothes on their back. Prior to this I would have called them very Proud people now I would be more inclined to use the word humble. This is about the only thing I have going in my favour, I don't have much in the way of anything to compare it too as I left home at 17 and arrived in Australia at 21, Once I left home at 17 that was the end of any regular contact due to distances.

I am not sure they would be ready to meet Sarah in person but I will have a couple of PICs I was going to use and was trying to include them in this post or one similar to get some opinions...not to worry I will work that out later. I suspect it will either be world war three with me playing the role of the bad guy or gal in this case. Or I will find myself out dress shopping with my Mom and my Wife...how surreal does that sound. If only I could gain that kind of acceptance I would know they are alright. If it does go badly then it is going to be horrible because we are staying with them.

I favour the sit down the four of us and talk it out...everything is on the table, jar open worms everywhere. Then make sure I am accessible for follow up.

Sarah T