I have been well into my personal process of being comfortable that I am transgender and am going to start transitioning soon. Hormones, names, style, the works. My immediate family knows and is accepting and supportive, albeit it took some adjusting for my father, but I know his heart is in the right place. The only person that did not know was my little half-brother, Atticus. He is eight years old, full of pee and vinegar, and has one hell of a personality.
A while ago, all of my parents came to a therapy session, so we needed to leave Atticus at home with my grandmother to watch him. He was wondering what was going on, of course. My step-mother, Amanda, told him that I was in counseling for something, and it's been very good for me. She said that I could explain what is going on personally. His response was, "Well, I want just him to talk to me alone, not tell me with other people around, because I can never get a word in edge-wise when that happens." That funny fellow. So spunky.
So, it's been a couple of weeks since then, and I decided that I would tell him tonight. I am watching him while my parents are out. Up to this point, I had always thought that everything would go so smoothly with telling him. Young kids usually catch on quick with this stuff. Well, I sat him down and started talking. It turns out I broke his little heart.
Soon, I could see such a disgruntled expression on his face, then tears and muffled sobs. He said, "It's just wrong!" and "You're a boy!" and "I want to call you my brother!" I really did not know how to respond. In heart, me being his brother is so important to him, and it was so disheartening to see him upset over it. I explained to him that I am still the same person; I'm not going anywhere. I will still do all the same things that brothers do, just as being called his sister. He kept sobbing.
I love my little brother with all my heart. I know emotions are really strong at that age, and I sincerely hope he comes to not be so upset by it. But tonight, I brought him to bed in tears, not knowing what to say. So, I sang him a song and told him I love him and everything will be all right. I'm still a human, and that's not changing. He said I love you back.
This was not what I was expecting.
- Sunny
