to GCS or Not advice requested.

[stephaniec]

I'm realizing that for me personally this has turned out to be such a damn hard question. About 5 months ago my therapist started questioning me about moving forward with GCS, so I checked into planning it and what it would take to get it done. I called the surgeon's office and threw out a bunch of questions and called the electrol person for the genital area and did the questions. I got to the point were I just needed to start making appointments and could get the operation done within a years time. I got to the point of pushing the go button then I thought the pros and cons. The cons are basically my age and disability, I'm 63 years old but in good health mentally and physically except for having Rheumatoid arthritis which makes it difficult on my legs mostly the knees, like wearing 6" heels a bad idea. The basic con would be the 4 months post healing. I have no one to help for that period of healing. The only other concern is my age, not for reasons of health because I took care of myself the past 30 years with eating and exercise ,but with the time left on this planet. Realistically I have anywhere from 1 to possibly 40 years left , but more likely with luck 30 years or less. I'm in a quandary as to whether its worth it with that kind of time left. I've realized how important the operation would be for me. Just typing about it makes me cry. In the past 5 months knowing I could do it as far as financially its brought on a whole new thought process. A couple of months ago after having checked everything out I talked with my therapist and told her I decided against it  mostly for the lack of time left and really  what sense would it make. The last few weeks I've been reading the post op posts and it started to occur  to me how much I've wanted it my entire life. When I was discussing this a few months ago with my therapist who I've been seeing for 2,5 years I was taken a back when she said that I needed it. The thing is now I realize she is right. The problem right now is that I need it , but I'm confused. I have time to still think about it. The HRT has done such a beautiful job that I can live but honestly the genital dysphoria  is going to a place its never gone before. I'm going to talk a lot more about this with my therapist, I was just wondering if anyone wanted to put their 2 cents in or anything less than a dollar to help an old lady out (figuratively rather than actual coinage ) . Wherever this path takes me I'll be happy, I'm living my dream right now.

[Rejennyrated]

Well I cant tell you what is right for you, nor will I try, because that largely depends on your own motivation.

What I CAN tell you is that I know of at least five or six people in the UK who have had GRS at an age which makes you look like a spring chicken and all of them came through it just fine.

Also I will point out that my surgical colleages don't really like treating people who won't recover well because its spoils their outcome statistics - so in general they won't offer to treat you unless they are pretty confident that you will be ok.

So I think, ultimately it depends on how you feel and whether you are prepared to put in a bit of work to achieve the goal. If the answer to that is yes, then I would wait and see if a surgeon agrees to take you on. If they do then you can have some confidence that an acceptable outcome and recovery is theoretically achievable, if they dont, then you will have your answer by default.

[stephaniec]

thanks

[suzifrommd]

The only other concern is my age, not for reasons of health because I took care of myself the past 30 years with eating and exercise ,but with the time left on this planet. Realistically I have anywhere from 1 to possibly 40 years left , but more likely with luck 30 years or less. I'm in a quandary as to whether its worth it with that kind of time left.

Wow, Stephanie, I had this same conversation with myself a couple years ago.

I decided that regardless of how little or how much time I had, I didn't want to die never knowing what it felt like to be shaped the way I should. Life is about experience, and the experience of being female-shaped down below was one I did not want to miss as long as I could afford it.

By and large, I think I made the right decision. Yes, I miss orgasms (they may come in time), but my procedure was mostly comfortable and complication free. I'm 20 months out and the only way it still impacts my life is a 1/day dilation, and my surgeon says I can skip a day whenever I need to.

I have the rest of my life to appreciate my fabulous new body.

[Qrachel]

Hi:

I had SRS at 62.  It was a wonderful event and it took some time to recover (62 wasn't 32 and I took 6 weeks of planned down time); all-in-all it was a huge success.  I'm orgasmic and the post-op settling of my body/mind was/is so delicious. Eleven years later it's one of the best life decisions I have ever made . . . WARNING: YMMV

I offer this as a data point for someone who was right where you are now on the grand timeline of life.

Take care,

Rachel

P.S.  PM me if you'd like   

[AnonyMs]

As everyone else has said I can't tell you what you should do, but I can say what I would do. Perhaps its helpful?

There's every chance you'll be here 10 years from now. What do you want to be typing in the forums to commemorate this day? They day you decided to get SRS, or the day you didn't? And if you're not here in 10 years, well, I don't see the point in planning for that.

I shouldn't think the 4 months recovery is much fun, but I'm not sure I've heard anyone say they it was so bad they wish they didn't do it. It's also 4 months of being post-op, which is worth something.

[Mariah]

It's your choice in the end and you need find what works best for you. I can only share with how you I have come to my decision in regards to GCS or not. For me it's come down to can I live with not getting the procedure done. Fact is I have to much genital dysphoria to not go forward with it. It's a part of my body that has brought nothing but pain an anguish since I can remember. Yet even considering that I still had to make sure this was the choice for me. Even through deep soul searching and only taking into consideration my needs I knew that if at all possible I needed to follow through and get GCS taken care of. I don't feel a strong pull for other procedures, but this has always been one that was a need for me. Hugs
Mariah

[IdontEven]

Not to get too dark on you here, but yes, we're all given a finite amount of time on the planet. The inevitable ending of that time is no reason to make choices that deny ourselves happiness. It should be the opposite. Time and life are precious, valuable things and we should do everything we can to eke out whatever happiness and meaning we can find in the time we're given.

Also women live longer than men, it's a fact! Make of that what you will 

[chuufk]

The basic con would be the 4 months post healing.

4 months is nothing. I had GCS two months ago and I am fairly much back to normal with minimal swelling. You will be fairly mobile after a week or so, you just will not be able to sit easily for about 4 weeks or walk very far for about two to three weeks. The 4 months is usually the "back to full health, able to do everything" period. I am in my early 50s.

I have no one to help for that period of healing.

That is a bigger concern IMO than the recovery itself.

... but honestly the genital dysphoria  is going to a place its never gone before.

I think you have answered your own question. I was in a similar position. Five years ago I was not going to have surgery but as I progressed and became more feminine in my expression and outlook, the genital dysphoria got worse and worse. They had to go. I never hated them, but they had to go.

[stephaniec]

thanks everyone I really appreciate the replies . This structure between my legs is just getting to be such a bummer. The more I progress physically the more of an anchor dragging along the ocean floor that structure is becoming. I use to pretty much ignore it pre transition because I have a good imagination, but after seeing the effects of HRT on my body I know I wont feel complete with out the surgery. It's kind of weird because the genital dysphoria was there all my life , but it's always been quite manageable and now it's not.

[Jenna Marie]

Yeah, all I can offer is sympathy and perhaps helpful confusion about where you're getting 4 months from.

I could have taken care of myself, albeit slowly and uncomfortably and a bit unhappily, from the day I got back home, 10 days post-op. The two 60+ women I was in the recovery house with  made me look slow, too.  It might be several months to get back to 100% (I don't think I had my full energy levels back until at least 6 months), but don't confuse that with being totally or nearly bedridden - you should be able to do almost anything you could before (except heavy lifting/hard exercise) within days, as long as you're careful and don't try to do it ALL in one day. Like, you'll be able to manage doing the dishes, but need to rest afterward, etc. The first month or so does involve a lot of aftercare, like bathing and dilation and so on, but even that is more inconvenient than difficult.

What I see in this post is that you really desperately do want this, so I hope I can offer some encouragement.

[stephaniec]

well, if I'm totally honest with myself it is the only way to go. Since experiencing contacting the dr.'s and finding out what I need to do I've been in a mental state of totally imaging having the proper apparatus between my legs which isn't helping the dysphoria.

[chuufk]

well, if I'm totally honest with myself it is the only way to go.

In that case... question answered