Came out to my sister at the weekend/coming out to parents

[Took]

I've been meaning to post about this for a couple of days, but I've been wiped and had stuff around my OCD I've had to do .

I was at home at the weekend for my Dad's birthday, along with my sister and her boyfriend. I wasn't exactly looking forward to having to hide everything that's going on right now, but I was dealing with it okay. Then later on everyone else had gone to bed and me and my sister went outside for a smoke. Suddenly the words were burning a hole in my throat and I just had to get them out. I swore her to secrecy and said those two terrifying words... 'I'm transgender'.

Fortunately she took it really well. She was a bit shocked, and clearly unsure of how to react, but she didn't judge me or tell me I was being stupid or anything. She asked loads of questions about what it felt like and what will happen, which I did my best to answer. She said that she didn't care and she loved me regardless. She said I'd still be her brother a few times, which isn't strictly speaking true but I let it slide as I knew what she meant .

The conversation went onto our parents eventually. She said that they wouldn't take it well, which is what I was figuring. She thinks my Mum should get used to it fairly easily, and would try to understand what I was going through. She mentioned that my Dad might disown me for a while at least though, which is a thought that has gone through my mind. He's very old fashioned and just won't understand, and I wouldn't be surprised if he takes that out on me, which sucks massively. My sister offered to pave the way by talking to Mum first and having her talk to Dad before I come out, but I wonder if it would be best for me to just do it myself to both of them at once.

So it was a good talk, though tinged with some sadness. I need to figure out how to deal with my parents; I need to do it sooner than later, but I at least want the appointment to the clinic to come through first. Not that I'm not sure, but I need things to be a bit more official before I go through all of that, y'know? It's going to be really hard, but at least I know I have someone on my side. And at least one of these conversations went well .

Man, I thought I'd gotten all this coming out stress out of my system when I revealed I was bi .

Alex

[geeky_jamie]

Coming out to family was the hardest for me,  (still not out to all of them yet), my dad is old fashioned and didnt take it well at all, my sister took it well because her brother inlaw is gay and a drag queen and was disowned by his parents and knows the issues people like us face (so she says she knows).  I held it in since I was 5.  Coming out to work has been easier.  Coming out to old army buddies and hs/college friends was super easy and I was accepted by all of them.  So yes I hit my all time bump when it comes to family.  My dad told me to prepare to alianate myself from the family for good but oh well, id rather be hated me for who I am than loved for who i'm not.

[Batmanlovr]

Coming out to my mom's side of the family plus my sister and a few cousins was really easy they actually said '' we always knew '' but the catcher is..I have yet to come out to my dad, my mom and him divorced when I was little and he moved way out into the states (I'm in Canada) shortly after so really he never got to see my struggle. Now he's a really old fashioned guy too and very religious so deep down I know he's not going to take it very well, he already doesn't like the fact that I wear guys clothes you can see the constant disappointment in his eyes when he visits so I am dreading that talk with him hardcore. I know it's going to have to come out eventually and just thinking about it makes my stomach knot up and my anxieties flow out thinking what will he think of his oldest ''daughter'' ( cringes) becoming a man after I tell him? but it's better to get out then keep that in cause I want to start T and I know the questions will fly once that begins. But anyways I don't know the kind of relationship you have with your dad so I can't say if it will end well or bad but as I see it he might disown you for a little while but that might wear off once he realizes different, he loves you and always will..a parents love never changes, it's just harder for parents as they have seen us as their ''daughter or son'' our whole life's and then we tell them different.

[KatelynBG]

My dad was a PM teacher and coach for 30 years, the track at his school is named after him. He's a paragon of masculinity for thousands of men that he coached over the years. Not sure this is going to end well. Good luck to you?

[Tessa James]

Man, I thought I'd gotten all this coming out stress out of my system when I revealed I was bi .

Alex

That is priceless!  I came out Bi in 1982 and then again in 2012-13 as transgender.  my big family was a very mixed bag of responses.  A couple of my siblings have taken to calling me their "brister" and I am glad they can find a term that works ok for them.  We are separated by thousands of miles but reman close if not impacting each other much.  Congratulations on coming out, again