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EvaLoring · August 27, 2015, 06:35:25 PM

Hi everyone my name is Eva, i am a mtf and finally came to terms with it. I am also in the navy and so i cant start HRT for fear of getting kicked and i pray i'll be able to start in 2016. i told and my closest friends and shipmates around July 4th. Surprising for me no one cared and even was happy for me, after i left my ship and went to a new command i made a facebook for myself and everybody found out about me and again no one cared. people were just mad at the fact i didnt trust them enough to tell them.Sadly my only real problem ive had was my mother but i wont get into that right now, and dont even get me started with my dad. I was just shocked how supportive people are of me. I dont know if its the fact i look pretty and passable when i dress up or just that my friends and shipmates just knew me or both. I really just wish my mother would give me a chance and talk to me about it, but i know i have friends and family that supports me and i know she'll get around. well if you read this thank you and please write back and ask me questions, Im the only openly trans person i know or ever really seen in person and would like to learn more about my community. JA NA !!!!!!!!!

Dena · August 27, 2015, 07:11:54 PM

Welcome to Susan's Place. My mother took a long time to fully accept what I was doing but it was only after she saw how determined I was so don't give up on her yet. In the mean time enjoy what we have to offer and let us know if we can help you.

EvaLoring · August 27, 2015, 07:22:23 PM

Its just real hard for me because were real close and well it was kinda apparent i was different. And all i really want to do is just talk to her so she could understand, she didnt even want to see me while i was on leave.she wont even see pictures of me but when the navy allows me to start hrt im going full time and told her. So im just sad cause she cant even see me now why would she later .Thats just whats keep popping in my head.

Dena · August 27, 2015, 07:33:55 PM

As I said, determination. My mother continued to talk with me but it took years for her to understand this was something she couldn't control and it was going to happen. My mom is a very self made woman and even today she thinks she can fix any problem, well almost any problem. As her child your mother will be faced with the option sometime in the future, face the new your or cut you out of her life. I suspect that will be when she will make her decision and cutting you out of her life will be very hard. Also keeping contact with her will send the message that the changes in you are for the better. For the most part we become better people as the result of the transition and regular communication will tell your mother that. It isn't going to be quick or simple but your mother may become a part of your life again.

Sarah82 · August 27, 2015, 09:10:09 PM

Hi Eva and welcome to Susan's.
I'm happy that the people around you are so accepting.

I remember some advice I read regarding coming out to parents "While you have had most of your life, to come to terms with your gender and decide on your path, it can come as a shock to parents and friends. Give them time to process, come to terms, and accept you for who you are."

I know it doesn't work in all circumstances but when I came out to my Dad I remembered to think about what he is going through. As his biological first son it was a shock and it took time for him to accept it. I hope your mother can accept you as her daughter.

Hugs and best of luck,
Bobbi

EvaLoring · August 27, 2015, 09:28:48 PM

thank you hearing form yall really helped.

V M · August 28, 2015, 12:05:36 AM

Hi Eva

Welcome to Susan's

Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Things that you should read

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Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

Ms Grace · August 28, 2015, 02:14:41 AM

Welcome to the site Eva - the process of coming out can often be a great (but scary) way of finding out who our friends really are.

katrinaw · August 28, 2015, 03:26:28 AM

Big warm welcome to Susan's Eva

Sort of personal independence day

Congrats on coming out to some friends, never easy but takes a massive internal burden off you.

I really hope, for you in your parents coming round for you.

Look forward to seeing your around the forum's

L Katy

Mariah · August 28, 2015, 10:03:42 AM

Hi Eva, welcome to Susan's. Sorry that your parents haven't been open to really talking about it. Coming out to friends and family is one of the most difficult tasks we face, but also once of the most liberating especially when those around us are supportive. Thank you for your service to our country. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Devlyn · August 28, 2015, 01:56:02 PM

Hi Eva, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. Thank you for your service! We have a thread for service members and veterans, why don't you stop by Roll Call and sign in? There are quite a few of us here. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

EvaLoring · August 28, 2015, 04:08:57 PM

Quote from: Ms Grace on August 28, 2015, 02:14:41 AM
Welcome to the site Eva - the process of coming out can often be a great (but scary) way of finding out who our friends really are.

yes for me i thought most people would make fun of me or call me a freak or something but everyone said and showed they'll support me and their happy for me'

EvaLoring · August 28, 2015, 04:29:18 PM

Quote from: katrinaw on August 28, 2015, 03:26:28 AM
Big warm welcome to Susan's Eva

Sort of personal independence day Congrats on coming out to some friends, never easy but takes a massive internal burden off you.

I really hope, for you in your parents coming round for you.

Look forward to seeing your around the forum's

L Katy

Ya lol it wasn't really planed like that but it worked. the day before I told my best girlfriend who was my roommate, who is my best guyfriends ( who was on duty and woundnt be back till the next day) wife that i was trans and she was super happy and said she knew there was a reason why I felt so comfortable talking about anything to you.And i showed her what i really looked like and all my cloths and everything. Then she showed me how to put on makeup and at the end of the night i coundnt take it off because i finally saw myself for the first time other than my dreams and knew there was no turning back for me. so the next day after a hard night of removing my makeup we invited a couple buddys i told a couple days already to help me come out to him, because i was scared he'll kick me out or beat me up or tell our boss because hes very conservative and old school. well I told him after like 30 mins of trying and all he said was so.And from that point thats when I told my whole family and went semi-full time lol.(I only look like a "guy" when im at work other than that all Eva all day lol)

EvaLoring · August 28, 2015, 04:30:39 PM

Quote from: Mariah2014 on August 28, 2015, 10:03:42 AM
Hi Eva, welcome to Susan's. Sorry that your parents haven't been open to really talking about it. Coming out to friends and family is one of the most difficult tasks we face, but also once of the most liberating especially when those around us are supportive. Thank you for your service to our country. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Thank you that means alot to me.

EvaLoring · August 28, 2015, 04:33:11 PM

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 28, 2015, 01:56:02 PM
Hi Eva, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. Thank you for your service! We have a thread for service members and veterans, why don't you stop by Roll Call and sign in? There are quite a few of us here. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

THANK YOU. I just went to it.

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