Is Honesty really the best policy?

[deviousxen]

I'm usually pretty honest with people. Except for the fact that this site, and my questions "dont exist", I usually tell the truth in the end.

This thing though...I don't even know what to think.

[Christo]

yea be honest but dont be f#cking mean or rude.  u want respect?.  then show respect.

[Mia and Marq]

So it seems like most people think that honesty in one form or another is important. The follow up thought for discussion is

"Is this honesty given out only when directly asked for or also in instances where its not directly asked for but would still have impact on the person?"
I'll stray from the obvious example that gets discussed alot on here because it certainly isn't the only time opinions matter.

Example situation 1: You're eatting at a resteraunt and one of the people from your dinner party expresses interest in purchasing a plate that in the past you've felt was not really that good or it made you sick. Would you say something? Certainly its possible you just didn't like it and that the plate is perfectly alright, so this one is about sharing your honest opinion where perception can vary.

Example situation 2: More food(wonder if I'm hungry)
Someone is cooking dinner for you. You eat the meal and you either aren't impressed or you disliked to varying degrees. They may think they cook alright or that they're the next best thing to happen to cooking. Do you express your distaste for their meal? Does it matter if they asked how it was or if they just don't bring it up?
This one is probably a lot closer to the "taking offense" stipulation that was placed in many peoples responses.

Have at it......there is much to be learned this day

Marq and Mia

[no_id]

Example situation 1: You're eatting at a resteraunt and one of the people from your dinner party expresses interest in purchasing a plate that in the past you've felt was not really that good or it made you sick. Would you say something? Certainly its possible you just didn't like it and that the plate is perfectly alright, so this one is about sharing your honest opinion where perception can vary.

I would point out my reasons for choosing a different plate; "Ah you're choosing that? I decided not to since it wasn't much to my liking when I ordered it previously." If they ask me why then I will point out the meal's flavour that collided with my personal taste -- from that they can draw their own conclusions and decide whether or not they will enjoy the plate.

Example situation 2: More food(wonder if I'm hungry)
Someone is cooking dinner for you. You eat the meal and you either aren't impressed or you disliked to varying degrees. They may think they cook alright or that they're the next best thing to happen to cooking. Do you express your distaste for their meal? Does it matter if they asked how it was or if they just don't bring it up?
This one is probably a lot closer to the "taking offense" stipulation that was placed in many peoples responses.

Hehe go eat something. As for the example[...]
First off, not everyone is a chef so I wouldn't bring it up unless asked the cliché question "How was it." My answer to that would be rather tactful (I suppose); "How did you make it? What did you put into it?" At their answer I'd make small suggestions at how to better the taste according to my own personal flavour. Surely, they can take offense since I am correcting their recipe, but I'd do it conversational wise, and if it did turn out into a snappy discussion from their side I'd simply point out different tastes and note that I can't help it that mine varies from theirs. 

[Nero]

Example situation 1: You're eatting at a resteraunt and one of the people from your dinner party expresses interest in purchasing a plate that in the past you've felt was not really that good or it made you sick. Would you say something? Certainly its possible you just didn't like it and that the plate is perfectly alright, so this one is about sharing your honest opinion where perception can vary.

That depends on whether the plate is being ordered as the group appetizer or as the person's individual plate. If the former, I'd come right out and say it was nasty (this depends on who the suggester happens to be) and suggest something else. If the latter, I'd politely inform them that the particular dish wasn't very good at this restaurant.

Example situation 2: More food(wonder if I'm hungry)
Someone is cooking dinner for you. You eat the meal and you either aren't impressed or you disliked to varying degrees. They may think they cook alright or that they're the next best thing to happen to cooking. Do you express your distaste for their meal? Does it matter if they asked how it was or if they just don't bring it up?
This one is probably a lot closer to the "taking offense" stipulation that was placed in many peoples responses.

I'm a frequent flyer in this situation, as first off I'm an extremely picky eater and secondly, dishes I do enjoy must be cooked and presented in a certain manner to be edible. In this situation, I'd sooner die than express my distaste even if asked and always show appreciation for their efforts.
I lie through my teeth that it was great, despite evidence to the contrary - one or two bites tops. I can't force myself anymore than that.
As a result, people who don't know me well always end up extremely and obviously insulted, some blowing a gasket and others silent.

[Louise]

I enjoy cooking.  As a cook it is always nice to hear compliments from the diners, but if something doesn't work it is equally important for me to hear that as well.  The only way we can better ourselves (or our culinary skills) is through feedback about what works and what doesn't.

Having said that, it is also important to remember that the manner of presenting comments is important.  If I am invited to a dinner party and I do not like what is served, I am not going to announce to everyone at the table that the food is terrible.  If the hostess asks me my opinion, I will be honest in a polite way.  Communication is a social skill that aims at building understanding between people.  If we are not honest then we destroy the basis for that understanding, but if we embarrass or offend the person with whom we are communicating then we also destroy the basis for common understanding.

[Jeannette]

I personally believe that honesty is the best policy, and it has to begin with being honest with yourself for if you can't be honest with yourself you're not going to be able to be honest with others.  If others can't handle the truth then it's their problem not mine.

Steph

I quite agree with Steph here.

[Jessie_Heart]

So it seems like most people think that honesty in one form or another is important. The follow up thought for discussion is

"Is this honesty given out only when directly asked for or also in instances where its not directly asked for but would still have impact on the person?"
I'll stray from the obvious example that gets discussed alot on here because it certainly isn't the only time opinions matter.

Example situation 1: You're eatting at a resteraunt and one of the people from your dinner party expresses interest in purchasing a plate that in the past you've felt was not really that good or it made you sick. Would you say something? Certainly its possible you just didn't like it and that the plate is perfectly alright, so this one is about sharing your honest opinion where perception can vary.

I would explain my experience with the dish but I would tell the person that it might have just been me.

[/quote]
Example situation 2: More food(wonder if I'm hungry)
Someone is cooking dinner for you. You eat the meal and you either aren't impressed or you disliked to varying degrees. They may think they cook alright or that they're the next best thing to happen to cooking. Do you express your distaste for their meal? Does it matter if they asked how it was or if they just don't bring it up?
This one is probably a lot closer to the "taking offense" stipulation that was placed in many peoples responses.

Have at it......there is much to be learned this day

Marq and Mia
[/quote]

I have run into this situation alot most people are going to think I am mean and rude but anyone who knows me knows that if I don't like something as soon as I taste it I will find a trash can or toilet to spit it out in and I will tell the person that I don't like it. in most cases I offer to take the person out to eat on me. and I always thank them for the effort they have put into a meal. I just can't handle to try to eat a food I don't like!

[Dorothy]

No matter the reason, honesty wins all the time.  Facing the truth or letting other ppl show you the truth shouldnt be such a big deal if you know yourself and are sincere with yourself.